Someone has stolen almost $1,000 from Mrs. V.'s mother

[Bertha Venation]

Several ATM withdrawals of $100-160 since the beginning of the month. Mom is on a very small limited income and can't afford this (who could?!). Mrs. V. doesn't know who's doing it (the card is in Mom's wallet!). She suspects her nephew, unemployed apparently by choice because he is fully able-bodied.

She's going to cancel the card and notify the bank's fraud department. She's hoping she can get pictures of the person(s) making the withdrawals.

Mom is 82 years old and in very poor health. Mrs. V. runs her finances and cares for her as best she can from 500 miles away. There is no one else to care for her. Her son and grandson live nearby but they are both deadbeat assholes; her son gets on the phone and is extremely mean and nasty to her. Her grandson (Mrs. V.'s nephew) makes promises of helping around the house and doesn't show up. Dad's in a nursing home - Alzheimer's.

Mom deserves better. Mrs. V. is in tears and feels helpless.

[olddots]

1. do you feel helpless talking to them ?

if this gets to the point of the police or bank thugs getting involved it will end very badly ---very badly .

[Bertha Venation]

4. We'll just have to go one step at a time.

Nephew did this before -- ran up $4K on Mom's Discover card. Mrs. V. almost had him arrested.

We are not looking forward to whatever is to come.

[LiberalEsto]

2. Wow, what a bastard

Definitely notify the bank's fraud department.
Good luck dealing with this.

[Bertha Venation]

7. thanks, L.E.

I needed that

[mrmpa]

3. Check in with...........

the Area Agency on Aging in the County Mrs. V's mother lives in. Particularly since she is on a fixed income and husband is in a nursing home, the agency will be able to help her with many of her needs. They also can help with criminal prosecution if that is warranted.

If you want you can email me the state & county she lives in & I can help find the info on the Agency, if you would like.

[Bertha Venation]

6. She has a social worker

who does a great deal for her. She has help that comes in six hours per day. She has her best friend who spends a lot of time with her. I didn't mean to imply that she was all alone. But in this situation, she may as well be.

I wondered aloud to Mrs. V., could it be Mary, her in-home help. Mrs. V. says no, not possible. I hope that's true.

[mrmpa]

12. Good.......eom

[handmade34]

5. most banks

are very good about taking care of stolen money (although it can take a bit of time to get the money back)... contact them immediately and keep up the contact until it is rectified (been there, as well as other family members) tough situation

I just bought a small place next to my Dad (86) knowing that he will soon need the type of help that Mrs. V's Mother needs... it is not easy at all... maybe call social service in Mom's area to see if they can do anything?? maybe for a few dollars you can somehow find someone trusty that lives in the area to check in on her once in awhile... so difficult to care for parents esp from far away... tell Mrs. V not to feel guilty... all any of us can do is limited by so many factors...

[Bertha Venation]

8. yes, see reply # 6

Good for you for preparing to help your Dad. It is not easy. Mrs. V. often goes home to handle things when the chaos gets to be too much, or when Mom's health takes a dive. I wonder if this crisis will send her on her way.

Thanks, handmade.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. That is dreadful. I am so sorry, my dear Bertha.

I hope the excellent advice you've gotten in this thread will help.

In the meantime, here's a hug!

[Denninmi]

10. Should be covered 100%.

It may take a while, but should be 100% reimbursed for losses due to theft. Hopefully.

Hugs to you both. Stay strong.

[alarimer]

11. They don't actually need the card

In many cases, "skimmers" can harvest the numbers when you slide the card somewhere.

But if you know who it is, that's different.

[Sissyk]

13. I'm so sorry to read this, Bertha!

In my book, any one that would take money (or anything) from an 82 year old lady is pretty rotten to the core! It makes it even worse when you suspect family.

If it helps, we've had to deal with bank fraud twice and both times the bank put all the funds back in our account. That is one time I've really seen that they work with you.

Give Mrs. V a hug, and I hope the best for your mom and dad!

[elleng]

14. Awful. Inform the bank IMMEDIATELY!

[cliffordu]

15. Baseball bat time.

Kneecaps can teach many lessons.

Fuck calling the cops, they'll ignore the complaint.