A PSA. The ugly downside of masturbating in your car in a Target parking lot

[Kaleva]

http://www.nj.com/jets/index.ssf/2014/01/witness_told_police_jets_tight_end_kellen_winslow_jr_was_masturbating_in_his_car.html

[NYC_SKP]

1. "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console"

Not one, but TWO containers of Vaseline. Open.

By the time police arrived, an officer found Winslow allegedly "slouched in his seat and moving around." Winslow sprang to an upright position when the officer arrived. When the cop asked Winslow what he was doing, Winslow allegedly said he was looking for Boston Market but was lost.

The cop noticed Winslow was wearing "dark colored" sweatpants and wrote that "his genitals were not exposed." But the cop also noticed "two open containers of Vaseline on his center console" and plastic bags marked "Mr. Happy" and empty plastic containers of "Funky Monkey" scattered throughout the vehicle.

Winslow allegedly told police he smoked the "Mr. Happy" and "Funky Monkey" at his home to relax because the NFL doesn't drug test for it, and that he buys the stuff on the internet and at gas stations. Police say he consented to a vehicle search, and after a few items were seized into evidence, Winslow was free to go.

[Major Nikon]

11. Two different rides in the amusement park

Just sayin'

[pipi_k]

2. He was looking for

Boston Market because they were having a special on the pulled pork sandwiches...

[MrScorpio]

3. Any word on the condition of that poor chicken? nt

[Major Nikon]

12. Yes

[Iggo]

4. Dude.

Go home.

[sarge43]

5. Forget it Jake. It's New Jersey. n/t

[edbermac]

6. Hacking inside Target and whacking outside Target.

They can't catch a break these days.

[Baitball Blogger]

7. That's why I pay everything with plastic.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

8. Is there an upside?

[hibbing]

9. and with "synthetic marijuana"

I swear this country is screwed up when people are buying this fake weed, K2 garbage, instead of being allowed to buy the real stuff. All kinds of stories on the news here about people dying from the stuff, of course who knows with the what passes as local "news" anymore.

Peace

[LiberalEsto]

10. Did they also arrest Mr. Happy? n/t

[Kaleva]

13. I don't think so.

According to the article, Winslow "smoked' Mr. Happy and the Funky Monkey but it doesn't say anything more about them.


.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.