I've been thinking a lot about mortality, lately.

[Tobin S.]

The thing about MFM dying was that he was only 58. The death of a friend or a family member is never easy no matter the age, but someone passing that young makes it all the more tragic. He was young enough to have been my older brother. When I think about it that way it brings into the present a reality that I also must face sometime in the future along with every human being. Hopefully, it's a very long time into the future, but the time will come...yes it will.

It has brought contemplation of that moment into the present for me. What has reinforced that realization is that there is another guy who is 60ish as well who I know who is looking death in the eye. A guy I work with thought he had beaten throat cancer two years ago. Recently, the disease was discovered again in his lungs. He has very little chance to beat it this time.

If you believe, the end doesn't look like the end to you. To those of us who don't believe or who just don't know, the thought of the end of this life is more challenging. This life could be all that there is. How incredible this life is; to the point that it's absurd in its incredibleness.

All I can do is what I think is right.

In most cultures, it is not normal to consider death until one is elderly. Here I am at 41 and trying to make my peace with it.

I just read this to my wife. She said we feel this way because we are sad for ourselves and we are selfish for wanting our deceased friends and loved ones to be here with us. She then read this quote to me.

"I have to remind myself that some birds weren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knew it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But your world is just that much colder and emptier when they're gone. I don't know... maybe I just miss my friend."

Stephen King, The Shawshank Redemption

[hermetic]

1. Wow,

I've seen several people die. Some old, some young. And I have tried all my life to understand why. My conclusion is it's just a crap shoot. Luck of the draw. No rhyme or reason that we are able to comprehend in our tiny mind/body. So, just try to make each day the best you can.

Have a beer.

[LiberalEsto]

2. Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Tobin

I've been thinking about somewhat similar things.

When he died. MFM was three years younger than I am now. I'm 61.

In October, a childhood friend of mine died from brain cancer at the age of 60. Once he was diagnosed, he only lived a few weeks It happened so quickly.

In December another childhood friend died of brain cancer at the age of 62.

And then came the loss of MFM. These three passings, coming so close together, scared me somewhat. MFM was fairly young, and it bothered me.

For one thing, (although this does not pertain to MFM) why is there so much cancer around? When I was younger, brain cancer was extremely rare. You almost never heard about anyone having it. Same with pancreatic cancer. No matter what kinds of studies and statistics they throw at us, I can't believe it is normal for so many people to be developing unusual cancers at such early ages.

I can't help but wonder which of the tens of thousands of new, never-before-in-existence substances that affect our lives are quietly triggering cancers. Or which combinations of these substances. Or how many substances that have been around a while, like asbestos, have been affecting us at exposure levels smaller than we've been told are safe.

It makes me angry that chemical companies and the like play Russian roulette with human lives for decades, but evade responsibility by filing for bankruptcy or by other legal but immoral means. I don't know what can be done about them, or about all the stuff that's been dumped, spilled, buried, fracked or otherwise employed in ways that fuck up our clean water, air and soil.

Sigh.

[rurallib]

3. I thought MFM was more like 73

Whatever - coming to terms with our mortality is tough. I don't think anyone does until the very end.
I too have spent some time in consideration of mortality.

Things I have come up with -
one is that no one has yet to escape death, so it is part of life
two is that I plan to live to the day I die
three - I plan to harass republicans right up to the end.
four - in 100 years no one will remember me or anything about me. My afterlife will be in the memories of my children, as it should be.

[Tobin S.]

6. Jim was born in May of 1955.

It's in one of Kali's posts on the matter.

[rurallib]

9. missed it - somehow I got theidea he was over 70

not that it makes any difference. He spent his life well.
As I have said I am glad my path crossed his.
Also glad my path has crossed yours, Tobin. You make me think

[Kaleva]

7. "in 100 years no one will remember me or anything about me"

I live in an area of Michigan that 100 years and more ago was the major copper mining region of the world. This created much wealth for a select few and there is a cemetery not far from where I live were the local big wigs had their family plots. The tombstones are huge and ornate with a number of the plots surrounded by iron wrought fences.

But the cemetery is overgrown with brush and trees now although some volunteers are making much progress in cleaning it up. These high class people who were once part of the local elite are now long forgotten. Their fancy final resting place gives their name, date of birth and date of death. But nobody around here knows anything more about their lives. Their accomplishments and triumphs lay in the ground with them. Unseen to the living.

[rug]

4. Life is incredible whether or not there is anything after.

[Tobin S.]

5. Yes, indeed.

[Kali]

8. I really like NYC_SKP's advice

Life is short, motherfuckers. Enjoy it. Leave a Mark. Be kind. Make people smile.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024317872

[elleng]

10. Have been, out if 'necessity,'

as husband (separated) passed in May @ 68, unexpected, but my age too, and as I'm 'responsible person,' have had to do all the plans. Just planned where and when to place his urn.

And may be somehow responsible for my good friend, now 78, and I sure as heck don't want to/can't be responsible to plan for him.

I've just had a new grandson, and another grandbaby may be on the way, so I've decided to plan for my final stuff so no one will have to go through what I've been going through.

Do hope to enjoy newly growing family, and do have things to do. Dad passed @ 98 so not really concerned BUT about accidents etc and the unknown.

[Iterate]

11. Amuse your friends and confound your enemies.

Last edited Mon Feb 17, 2014, 11:05 AM - Edit history (2)

I thought it was someone of consequence who said that. Turns out it was from a T-shirt. Fuck.
______________________________________________________________________________________

It always seemed to me that MFM tried to teach us that we're all vain and foolish and gross and self-indulgent, and that we shouldn't take ourselves or our troubles or victories too seriously. And he did it by taking it all on himself with that self-deprecating humor and wit. And he made us laugh, which eased the pain we could see in the other forums. And when he was most directly helpful(as I'm now reading from everyone), that's when he was most serious.

Ah, no great conclusions. But there seems to be a lesson in his life.

[applegrove]

12. Yes. MFM is an inspiration for me to keep to this green smoothie diet...... er once I stop putting

fruit and coconut milk in my smoothies.