Said on the TeeVee (Academy Awards Special)

[Scuba]

Fallon

Travolta accidentally called Idina Menzel “Adele Dazeem.” And I guess that wasn’t the only flub. Leonardo DiCaprio says Jennifer Lawrence flubbed his name when she presented the best actor award and pronounced it “Matthew McConaughey.”


Conan

Last night was the fourth time Leonardo DiCaprio was nominated for an Oscar and the fourth time he has lost. Being Leonardo DiCaprio must be a living hell. I don't know how he goes on.


Letterman

Anybody see the Academy Awards last night? I watch every year to make sure I'm not in the dead actors montage.


Kimmell

Last night the Academy Awards telecast was more than three hours long. They actually had to do a second “In Memoriam” montage because quite a few actors passed away during the broadcast.

[bigwillq]

1. Fallon. FTW (nt)