I kept dreaming last night I was going to help build the first bridge between Hawaii and California

[LynneSin]

For some crazy reason in my dreams Hawaii was only 700 miles away from California. Clearly my dream state isn't too keen on geography

[pinboy3niner]

1. Have you checked your living room yet?

Sometimes those aren't just dreams...

[malthaussen]

2. I figure you know this joke, but just in case...

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp. He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "OK, OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about getting three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought about it for a while. Finally, he said, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii but I'm scared to fly and I get very seasick. Could you build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over there to visit?"

The genie laughed loudly and said, "That's impossible. Think of the monumental logistics! How would the supports ever reach the bottom of the Pacific? Think of all the concrete! Think of all the steel! No, think of another wish."

The man said OK, sat back down and tried to think of a really good wish.

Finally, he said, "I've been married and divorced four times. My wives always said that I don't care and that I'm insensitive. So, I wish that I could understand women. I want to know how they feel inside. I want to know what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment. I want to know why they're crying and know what they really want when they say 'nothing'. Most of all, I want to know how to make them truly happy."

The genie said, "You want that bridge two lanes or four?"

-- Mal

[AnneD]

3. Mal....

I hadn't heard that one.

[Eleanors38]

5. A classic. Always good in a crowd.

[antiquie]

4. Well, there is this...

Finally, however, after years of speculation and intense research, a private construction firm in California has reached a deal to construct a bridge from California to Hawaii, which will render the bad joke obsolete.



Beginning in Oxnard, California, and terminating in Kahului, Maui, "Interstate 2" is projected to take seven years to complete and will employ over 2,700 workers. Privately funded by various Southern California social elite who can't stand renting a Ford Mustang while spending the obligatory one week per year in their Maui mansion, as part of a plan to reduce costs and simultaneously free up prison space, the firm has agreed to a deal, which would utilize California inmates who have a passable background in either engineering, construction or commercial diving.

Filed under: April Fools Posts

[Eleanors38]

6. You'll conjure the ghost of Henry Flagler.

[KamaAina]

7. I was once thinking of doing a movie treatment called "Driving to Honolulu"

which would begin with the ribbon-cutting ceremony for just such a bridge, then follow the first few carloads of people to drive out from the California side, both tourists and kama'aina (local Hawai'i people; now you know ) returning home. The soundtrack would be provided by some of the excellent contemporary musicians they have out there, of whom the best known on "the continent" are the late Bruddah IZ and Jack Johnson. There'd have to be rest stops along the way, of course; I envision them as being little outposts of island culture, with Zippy's restaurants, 'Ohana hotels, and 7-Elevens fully stocked with local delicacies such as Spam musubi.

What do you think? Could you help me build the cinematic bridge?

[Dr. Strange]

8. The meaning of this dream is...

you secretly desire to be a toll booth operator.

[LynneSin]

9. There would be one hell of a toll on that bridge

seriously

[KamaAina]

11. She would hardly have to go all the way to Hawai'i to do that!

[LiberalEsto]

10. You can do almost anything with your magic staple gun, LynneSin.

Go for it!