How to turn down a job offer...nicely

[HipChick]

So...shortly after I got a job offer, I requested a meeting with my boss - its a small company, and things are kinda informal, and wanted to talk to him before I put it in writing yada,yada...anyway, we go into the room, and he says He wanted to talk to me anyway,because he wanted to promote me and have me take on additional accounts and responsibilities and in recognition he would look at giving me a nice salary bump, so after that I kinda kept mum on the job offer. Do I just go back to the new company, and tell them I got a counter offer or something, and not so interested in pursuing the offer they extended? I hate burning bridges, but when I weigh the pros/cons of staying versus leaving, my current job now is not looking so bad...

[magical thyme]

1. it's easy to do it nicely, just tell them you appreciate the offer but

have a better offer to stay put. Be totally honest, that before you could discuss leaving your current position your boss came to you with a promotion.

The problem is keeping that door open for the future, jic.

You don't want them to think that you were just using them as a bargaining chip. But maybe all companies assume that any way, seeing as they use us as bargaining chips as well.

Any HR people on here who could chime in?

[UncleYoder]

2. My question is

How did you come to get the job offer in the first place.
Were you looking? Why?
Don't be so quick to assume that your current boss didn't already know and
pulled a preemptive move to keep you.
Did you already accept the offer?
Is it just about money?
In this case, no matter which way you go, there will be ashes.

[noamnety]

3. I wouldn't tell them I got a better offer.

I would thank them for the offer, and vaguely state that after spending some time reviewing your options you've decided to stay in your current position. And you hope that in the future if they have another opening they'd still be open to considering you.

BUT ... I might not do that until I get something in writing from the current boss. How would you feel if a raise in your current job never materializes, and you've lost your chance at the other job?

[Orrex]

4. Compose a sequence of emotionally charged limericks

In them, advise the prospective employer that you've decided to pursue another opportunity. Keep it simple, and as long as you don't actually growl at them or spit on their desks, you'll leave with no bad blood.

If they found a more suitable candidate after making you an offer, you can bet that they would pursue that candidate instead.

[Sherman A1]

5. I would be very appreciative of their offer and

very vague as to the reason why you chose not to accept it. They made an offer, you chose another path, end of story. It's business, sometimes things just don't work out the way it looks like it will initially.

[Agschmid]

6. You have to figure out why you were really leaving...

If it was just money it is easier to stay put if the offer is competitive, and let the offering party know you'll have to decline.

If it's for other reasons (engagement, work style, etc) then maybe the new offer is still better?

[mnhtnbb]

7. You say " he would look at giving me a nice salary bump"

Do you have any reason to believe that he will assign you more responsibilities and you won't have
a chance to KNOW what that "nice salary bump" will be? In other words, can you trust your current
boss? Because if you have any reason to suspect he's just trying to keep you from leaving--and
once he knows you've turned the other offer down, he might not come up with more money--or
enough more money--then I wouldn't be so quick to turn the other offer down. I would be inclined
to ask for specifics from your current boss regarding when the new responsibilities take place and
the difference in your salary. After that, you have the info to really make an informed decision.
It really sounds like all you have now from the current boss is vague promises.