HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » The DU Lounge (Forum) » I just slew my first hous...

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 09:12 PM

I just slew my first housefly opponent of the summer in righteous combat

I gave it a viking funeral, as was custom.

Victory is mine.

13 replies, 1072 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 13 replies Author Time Post
Reply I just slew my first housefly opponent of the summer in righteous combat (Original post)
MrScorpio Jun 2014 OP
Baitball Blogger Jun 2014 #1
MrScorpio Jun 2014 #3
dixiegrrrrl Jun 2014 #2
MrScorpio Jun 2014 #4
dixiegrrrrl Jun 2014 #6
MrScorpio Jun 2014 #8
rurallib Jun 2014 #5
MrScorpio Jun 2014 #7
ohnoyoudidnt Jun 2014 #9
MrScorpio Jun 2014 #10
DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #11
whistler162 Jun 2014 #12
benld74 Jun 2014 #13

Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 09:30 PM

1. Sounds more like a firefly than a housefly.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Baitball Blogger (Reply #1)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 09:34 PM

3. It was an agile opponent, that interloper in my hallowed abode

But its agility only served it for so long.

It's now singing songs of valiant battle, in the afterlife with his predecessors.

I consider it a mercy killing.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 09:30 PM

2. glad you got "the sabertoothed little bastard"

as WC Fields once said of a fly he smacked.

Preferred weapons of combat were.............?

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to dixiegrrrrl (Reply #2)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 09:37 PM

4. My preferred weapon of choice was a rolled up newspaper

I forged it swiftly upon observing the buzzing pest.

Its demise was swift and skillful in form and function.

May his dispatch serve as a warning to others.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MrScorpio (Reply #4)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 10:13 PM

6. May fortune be as beneficial to you as it was to Virgil:

Within the pages of Ripley’s Wonder Book of Strange Facts (1957), a repository of the curious but true, a tale is told of the lavish funeral the poet Virgil (70 BCE–19 BCE) staged for his pet housefly. Held in the grounds of Virgil’s home on Rome’s Esquiline Hill, the funeral attracted the great and good of the city. Dirges were sung and tributes read. Virgil’s patron, Maecenas, delivered a lengthy and moving eulogy to the departed insect, and Virgil was himself said to have uttered a few of his exquisite verses over the tiny carcass.

A tomb had been erected, and the lifeless body of the fly was placed within it to the wails and moans of the professional mourners.
So lavish were the commemorations that the cost was estimated at over eight hundred thousand sesterces.

But the reason for the funeral was not due to extravagance, eccentricity, nor even emotion.

Having defeated Julius Caesar’s assassins at the battle of Philippi, the Second Triumvirate was at that very moment engaged in confiscating the estates of the rich and dividing them among the war veterans returning from the battlefield.
Only one exception was given: if the estate held a burial plot, it was not to be touched.

By burying his housefly, Virgil saved his house.



http://cabinetmagazine.org/issues/25/pendle.php

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to dixiegrrrrl (Reply #6)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 10:21 PM

8. I am honored by your recitation

I will keep it in mind in the eventuality of more combat against the scions Musca domestica.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 09:57 PM

5. His fellows shall come to avenge his death. They shall make your life hell

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to rurallib (Reply #5)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 10:17 PM

7. I am prepared for the impending onslaught

My skill at dispatching their ilk is unmatched.

I am confident that I will prevail.

I yearn to hear the lamentations of their mournful companions.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 10:28 PM

9. Murderer!

You shall pay for your transgressions.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to ohnoyoudidnt (Reply #9)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 10:37 PM

10. The line was crossed, the gauntlet thrown

I do not cower away from a challenge.

Under the appropriate rules of combat, it was trial to the death.

Two entered the arena, one was left standing.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sat Jun 21, 2014, 11:07 PM

11. I just don't let them land.

They fly themselves to death. No mess to wipe up and no embarrassing misses.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Jun 22, 2014, 09:03 PM

12. Expect a visit from the ASPCF and PETA

sometime this week.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to MrScorpio (Original post)

Sun Jun 22, 2014, 09:39 PM

13. We let out Cocoa, black bombay kitty, hunt them down, catch and eat them. YUM

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread