Most ridiculous baby names from 2013

[KamaAina]

http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2014/05/16/most-ridiculous-baby-names-from-2013/

A baby-naming website called Nameberry decided to tell a different story and look at the bottom of the list where the least popular names live. Among these you’ll find 1,400 brand-new baby names given for the very first time to five or more children in the United States....

But Satran says all of these names are rather ordinary compared to the list of unusual names Satran’s team pulled from the Social Security Administration. Below you’ll find a selection from Nameberry’s wackiest monikers. Some of these were given to five or fewer children, while, surprisingly, others were ranked much higher.

Girls

Vanellope, 63

Burklee, 10

Pistol, 9

Happiness, 8

Pemberley, 8

Envie, 7

Prim, 7

Rarity, 7

Avaa, 6

Charlemagne, 6

Kinzington, 6

Prezlee, 6

Ransom, 5

Rebelle, 5

Sierraleone, 5

Siqi, 5

Snowy, 5

Temprince, 5

Boys

Rydder, 10

Jceion, 10

Hatch, 8

Tuf, 8

Lloyal, 7

Psalms, 7

Xzaiden, 7

Charger, 6

Forever, 6

Kyndle, 6

Power, 6

Warrior, 6

Gospel, 5

Kaptain, 5

Subaru, 5

Vice, 5

Wonder what'll happen when Forever hooks up with Happiness?

[joeybee12]

1. Yeesh! I give my cats better names than those!

[femmocrat]

2. Some of those are pretty creative!

I kind of like Burklee and Pemberley.

Subaru??? That one is just nuts. LOL

[KamaAina]

3. Maybe he has two mommies.

[femmocrat]

4. ?

Sorry, I don't get it.

[KamaAina]

5. Subarus are a lesbian cultural touchstone

along with cats, Melissa Etheridge, the Indigo Girls, and toaster ovens.

[femmocrat]

6. Ah! Did not know that!

Thanks!

[sharp_stick]

18. Toaster Ovens?

no wonder people were looking at me funny when I was at Target the other day....

"Look at that dude with a toaster oven, talk about a really successful surgery."

[KamaAina]

19. Laura Dern famously gifted Ellen a toaster oven

as a welcome gift on the episode where she came out.

[sharp_stick]

20. Ahhh thanks, I didn't know that. n/t

[Blue_In_AK]

22. Subarus are the state car of Alaska.

[jmowreader]

28. "Subaru" is what the Japanese call the Pleiades constellation

It's no worse than the rednecks who name their kid "Harley."

[LadyHawkAZ]

7. I want to see the Envie/Vice matchup myself

[rug]

8. Vice will take Happiness from Forever.

[NV Whino]

9. Hatch!

Did the Palin's have another, er, hatchling?

[Tanuki]

16. Bristol's baby daddy, Levi Johnston, named his subsequent, non-Palin baby Breeze Beretta.

I'm surprised those names didn't make the list!

[NV Whino]

17. Oh god. Is he still procreating, too?

[grilled onions]

10. If You Mixed Power and Pistol

will you still be allowed in school?

[Agschmid]

11. So I can call my kid Subaru...

I'm totally gonna do that!

[tabbycat31]

25. Only if you use Impreza as a middle name

Or it could be Forester, Legacy, Outback, etc.

ETA changed nickname to middle name.

[grasswire]

12. a family member of mine works in the public health department..

.....at the state where baby names are registered. The weirdest:

Romance Rocket.

Really and truly.

[orleans]

13. i know a child with the name ransom--it's a boy. n/t

[Tanuki]

15. Maybe it's a family surname, e.g. John Crowe Ransom, used as a first name? n/t

[progressoid]

14. Vanellope from the Wreck it Ralph movie?

[Algernon Moncrieff]

33. Yes, and I love Vanellope

First, the idea of Sarah Silverman in a Disney film has a surreal quality.

Second, Vanellope has a "glitch" -- something that causes her to not behave correctly from time to time. I see her as a symbol for kids with autism, epilepsy, DS, ADHD, and a number of other issues.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

21. Charlemagne for a girl?

And naming your boy Subaru is an act of cruelty.

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

39. Yeah, Charlemagne is definitely a boy's name

I had a 17th century English ancestor whose given name was "The Sword of the Lord and of Gideon". He had a brother, "Through Trials and Tribulations We Enter the Kingdom of Heaven". Evangelical Anglicans of that day went in for names like that.

When I was in college in the early 1970s, I knew a couple who had a girl and named her Goldberry.

I wanted to name one of my sons "Tiglath-Pileser", after the Assyrian king, but my wife vetoed it.

[LWolf]

23. Argh....

Each year, the week before school starts, I head downstairs to the big bulletin board in the hall outside the kindergarten rooms, where the teachers of those new Ks have designated a spot with their name for exhibiting their work. I go to look at the names and see what will be coming upstairs 6 years down the road.

I have, each year, a minimum of 90 students whose names I'm supposed to spell correctly. I get past most of the hilarity or eye rolls when it comes to fashionable names. But the spelling.....

Why can't these parents who are trying to spell their precious' name to keep it unique among the 7 billion people living not simply remember that every syllable has a vowel?

And why, oh why, must we constantly shift "i" to "y?"

So...when Siqi makes it upstairs, do I really have to call her "sicky?"

I can see it now. "Good morning, Subaru. Looks like you got some new tires." "Hey, Vice, how was that trip to Miami?" "I'm pleased to meet you, Mr. Jones. That's quite a little Pistol you've got there." "Kyndle, you need to plug into what's going on in the classroom for now." "No, dear, every day is not a Snowy day this year." "Good God, here comes Forever."

I've had plenty of books from the bible, including Genesis. I've never had to put up with daily doses of Gospel, though.

I've had some car brands, and some cities and states. Subaru is new to me, though.

It will be amusing, though, for some when they hear me pronouncing their names the way they are spelled so that I can remember the spelling. I'm sure Jcion, Rydder, and Xzaiden will appreciate it.

Edited to add: Even these don't trump the brothers I taught a couple of decades back: Sir, Doctor, and President.

[KamaAina]

24. Real-life DUzy!!!

[Initech]

26. Who names their kid after a car company?

You're not getting a free car if that's your motivation.

[KamaAina]

27. Ford Madox Ford's mom?

[Initech]

29. Rob Ford?

[KamaAina]

31. Are you on crack?

We're talking first names here.

[Initech]

35. I might have been, but I was probably blackout drunk.

Ba-zing!!!!

[KamaAina]

37. DUzy!

[Iwillnevergiveup]

30. From teaching years

in Chicago and Los Angeles:

Cute little girl named Seven Lanes
Other cute little girls: Aquanette, Dairyland and Female (pronounced Fe Molly) Mom said hospital named her
Christabella Juliette (only child)
One cute little boy named Gore, another Justin Angel (first & middle names)
A pair of pre-school boy/girl twins, I kid you not: Syphilus and Gonhorrea. Director reported family to Social Services.

[KamaAina]

32. CatWoman has two cats named Male (Molly) and Female (Fe-molly).

Guess which one is which?

[eppur_se_muova]

34. Gonorrhea (and spelling variants) may have to be added to the list ...

http://election.democraticunderground.com/1018629186#post11

[Fortinbras Armstrong]

40. How about Chlamydia

Remember that Nazi in New Jersey who named his son Adolf Hitler Campbell?

Bill Lear, the inventor of the Lear Jet, named his daughter Shanda. Her website is at http://www.slecorp.com/

[eppur_se_muova]

43. Well ... I think that was in a SNL skit. nt

[herding cats]

36. I plan to name my child Squee

I'm just eliminating the whole need to add it to any picture I post about them. Since we don't care what title the kid has to tote around anymore, let's just make this simple people.

[Taitertots]

38. I guess those parents don't read the freakonomics blog

They might be dooming their children to a life of poverty.

[sakabatou]

41. Well, Subaru isn't unusual

at least in Japan (I think).

[KamaAina]

42. It's Japanese for the constellation Pleiades

which is why their logo has all those stars.

[sakabatou]

44. That I know

But I don't know how popular a name it is for girls.