I purchased this product 4.47 Billion Years ago and when I opened it today, it was half empty.

[Scuba]

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000796XXM/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000796XXM&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwiflscience-20&linkId=WHBSFJXUVFJY3CSK

Uranium Ore

The reviews are hilarious.

[pinboy3niner]

1. So how did it taste?

[magical thyme]

2. I left this product next to my pet lizard,

unfortunately now he's 350ft tall now and is currently destroying Tokyo, Japan.

Excellent product. I mix 1/2 teaspoon with my espresso every morning with 1 teaspoon vanilla and 1 teaspoon coconut cream. Adds a robust metallic flavor that allows me to breathe green fire. Also my eyes have melted and i crave human flesh. Perfect for my 9 to 5 desk job!

Got it for my home grown weed garden as a fertilizer, the plant grew 6 times in size in two days!
The smallest bud was 10g!!!!
I smoked a joint 3 days ago, woke up today in Kansas with a girl who claims to be Dorothy - crazy s***.




The reviews are hysterical!

[valerief]

3. If I opt for air mail does it get delivered by Amazon Prime Air or CIA drones?

[steve2470]

4. I want to turn my pet iguana into a 400 foot tall kaiju with radioactive breath....

I want to turn my pet iguana into a 400 foot tall kaiju with radioactive breath. How many should I buy?

2 should do the trick. 3 is overkill. Literally. He'll die if you use 3.



eta: I love these reviews, so funny !

[steve2470]

5. Two heads are not always better than one

I was told that slathering this on my junk would make my manhood longer and give it more girth. Instead it grew two heads and tried to eat my dog. I would give this negative stars if I could.

[rurallib]

6. "I'm out to take my tomato plant for a walk"

[TexasTowelie]

7. Now I know why my BIL, the geologist, is such a freak of nature.

BTW, he is on the Nuclear Regulatory Commission in his state.

[redwitch]

8. This may be my favorite set of reviews ever.

[LynneSin]

11. My favorite are still the sugarless gummy bears!!

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-SUGAR-Classic-Gummi-Bears/dp/B006J1FBLM/ref=sr_1_cc_2?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1409001297&sr=1-2-catcorr&keywords=Sugarless+Gummy+Bears#cm_cr_dpwidget

It all started the day prior when my sugar tooth persuaded me to eat 2 handfuls of these sugar-free delights. Fast forward 15 hours 23 minutes and 44 seconds, the world shook. All hell broke loose inside me, a sudden headache, my skin began to perspire and something tore around in my abdomen with force enough to make me latch onto my couch with both hands and let out a sheer cry that sent my dog retreating into the bedroom, she probably knew the battle was already lost. I tried to make for the bathroom but the pressure was so intense I had to wait it out on the couch until a lapse in the gut-busting occurred and I regained control of my muscles. It took only moments before the volcano Mt Anus had blown its top. The air quickly turned poisonous from the methane and sulfuric fumes that spewed forth. Violence and terror are understatements of what happened for the next 45 minutes. I sustained 3rd degree burns from contact with the lava that flowed abruptly from my bowels, my blood pressure was at record levels, and my body mass was reduced by 4 lbs. After ample ventilation of the crime scene I quickly took a shower and changed clothes because the powerful fumes had soaked through the fabric and into the skin. I almost had a mental breakdown in the shower after realizing those little gummy bears had nearly defeated such a man that I thought I was. I can now hardly bare to look forward through the night-terrors and PTSD that will come of this horrid event.

[redwitch]

12. I remember reading this one and crying.

[LynneSin]

9. Wow, Amazon really has been around forever!!

[LynneSin]

10. Q: Ive got a Ant hill I want to remove.... is there sufficient quantity to build a working 1-1000th

A: Absolutely! I had a similar problem and built one slightly larger, (which I do not recommend, by the way) and it not only killed all the inhabitants of that hill, it wiped out a nearby herd of Nubian goats. There were HAZMAT crews and folks from Homeland Security combing the hills for weeks. I think it was the noise...