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Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 04:42 PM Sep 2014

My son's best friend just made me cry.

My son moved to MO a year ago with his wife. His bf from the Marines had gotten him a job there. I was supposed to go see them this summer with a side trip to Chicago to see my sister, but the money gods had other plans. I miss them so much it hurts. On top of that, life has just been downright disappointing, lately. I've been freakin' sad.

His buddy just texted me and asked if I could get a long weekend for my son's upcoming birthday. He wants to buy me a plane ticket.

Damnit. I don't know what to do. His buddy just bought a house, a new dog, a new bike, etc. I hate thinking of him paying, but even $281 is a lot of money for me, at the moment. I was also (lying to myself) and saying that I would save up the money to take a week off and see them next spring and then drive over to see my sister. This would sort of negate that whole scenario.

I need some happy in my life. I don't know what to do. Crap.

47 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
My son's best friend just made me cry. (Original Post) Wait Wut Sep 2014 OP
I only want to say one thing: TAKE THE MONEY, SAY THANK YOU, AND GO! CaliforniaPeggy Sep 2014 #1
I'm thinking about it. Wait Wut Sep 2014 #7
I agree with Peggy--GO, GO, GO, GO, GO! KatyaR Sep 2014 #34
Please allow your son's buddy to buy you a plane ticket Xyzse Sep 2014 #2
I love doing things like this for others. Wait Wut Sep 2014 #8
It is hard to be on the receiving end sometimes. Xyzse Sep 2014 #10
Madame Wahrsagerin says antiquie Sep 2014 #3
I hope she's right! Wait Wut Sep 2014 #11
You're going to piss some people off... Callmecrazy Sep 2014 #4
LOL!!! Wait Wut Sep 2014 #12
Sounds like his buddy would LOVE IT if you accepted the ticket :) arcane1 Sep 2014 #5
He's a great kid. Wait Wut Sep 2014 #13
take him up on his offer Skittles Sep 2014 #6
That is another option. Wait Wut Sep 2014 #14
yee haw! ACCEPT! Skittles Sep 2014 #17
Do as CaliforniaPeggy suggested: Take the ticket, say thank you and GO. In_The_Wind Sep 2014 #9
I know. Wait Wut Sep 2014 #15
I hope you can work it out. In_The_Wind Sep 2014 #16
If you're near a train route, marzipanni Sep 2014 #36
Go! by all means. Enjoy yourself. panader0 Sep 2014 #18
Just take the offer. I've done the same for other people and it's rewarding beyond measure. Lochloosa Sep 2014 #19
Happiness is making plans to do fun stuff in the near future, and sticking to them. iscooterliberally Sep 2014 #20
Accept this wonderful gift. Raine1967 Sep 2014 #21
I smell a consensus in the lounge....amazing! hibbing Sep 2014 #22
Go, enjoy and pay it forward someday. TeamPooka Sep 2014 #23
i know where you're coming from fizzgig Sep 2014 #24
Take the ticket and GO! mnhtnbb Sep 2014 #25
Tickets. Feet. Plane. Go. n/t Smarmie Doofus Sep 2014 #26
You graciously accept, because BF knows your son wants to see you. IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #27
You mention you've given to others Le Taz Hot Sep 2014 #28
My mom used to say, "Be a gracious receiver." Lydia Leftcoast Sep 2014 #29
You've answered your own question. Avalux Sep 2014 #30
GO! redwitch Sep 2014 #31
go Kali Sep 2014 #32
Tell him to throw in the plane peanuts and you'll go. rug Sep 2014 #33
Allow this fine young man the privilege of being generous. 3catwoman3 Sep 2014 #35
Life is far too short Tsiyu Sep 2014 #37
^^^^^^ +1 million hopemountain Sep 2014 #38
Go. WilliamPitt Sep 2014 #39
GO. LWolf Sep 2014 #40
Any followup? Ron Obvious Sep 2014 #41
Attention Wait Wut: antiquie Sep 2014 #42
No, it wouldn't be until the first week of December. Wait Wut Sep 2014 #43
Oops, didn't realize that. antiquie Sep 2014 #44
LOL! It's actually... Wait Wut Sep 2014 #45
go! dammit Liberal_in_LA Sep 2014 #46
What a thoughtful gesture! Generic Brad Sep 2014 #47

CaliforniaPeggy

(149,297 posts)
1. I only want to say one thing: TAKE THE MONEY, SAY THANK YOU, AND GO!
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 04:44 PM
Sep 2014

He offered it, for crissakes!

And have a great time!

Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)
7. I'm thinking about it.
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:18 PM
Sep 2014

The hardest part is not being able to get my sister to meet me there. Her health has been really crappy and I know it would break her heart not to see us. I'm trying to figure out a way to get her there.

Thank you.

KatyaR

(3,445 posts)
34. I agree with Peggy--GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 11:53 AM
Sep 2014

This is a true gift--things will work out. Go and enjoy yourself!

Xyzse

(8,217 posts)
2. Please allow your son's buddy to buy you a plane ticket
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 04:50 PM
Sep 2014

Think of this coming from a son who wants to do something nice for their mother.

However, I may be reading this wrong.

If I have a significant other, and she would be having a milestone birthday, I would see if I can fly their parents to us if possible, as a surprise.

So, for me, I would love to be able to do something like this for a person I care about. I would do so in a heartbeat.
That might be the reason he would offer such a thing.

Life to me is about the experiences I can have.
Add this to your memories.

Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)
8. I love doing things like this for others.
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:20 PM
Sep 2014

I just can't afford to, anymore. I think that's what's making it a difficult decision. Being on the receiving end.

Y'know, all my life I've been grateful for such an amazing son. Then, I was grateful for a beautiful, compassionate and caring daughter-in-law. Now, I'm grateful for the people my son has chosen as friends. Sometimes I need a reminder that I'm luckier than a lot of people.

Xyzse

(8,217 posts)
10. It is hard to be on the receiving end sometimes.
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:21 PM
Sep 2014

Thing is though, you do have to learn how to accept too.

Have fun!

Callmecrazy

(3,065 posts)
4. You're going to piss some people off...
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 04:59 PM
Sep 2014

if you don't take that plane ticket and go see your kid.
Don't try to rationalize your way out of it. They want you there. You're going to ruin a great party if you don't go. You wouldn't want to hurt their feelings would you?
Some might call you a terrible parent if you decline. (Yes, I'm shaming you into accepting now.)
Gimme his number. I'll text him back for you since you've suddenly become a techno-ninny. Do we have to send someone over to pack your bag too?

Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)
12. LOL!!!
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:26 PM
Sep 2014

Techno-ninny...

You're probably right. I just need to see if I can convince my sister to meet me there.

Skittles

(152,964 posts)
6. take him up on his offer
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:07 PM
Sep 2014

my guess is he can afford it and wants you and your son to be happy - you can always insist on paying him back if the means become available

do it

panader0

(25,816 posts)
18. Go! by all means. Enjoy yourself.
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:36 PM
Sep 2014

All of my kids make more than I do at this point. They flew me to Alaska and back last summer. I had a blast, except for how small the plane seats are now.

iscooterliberally

(2,849 posts)
20. Happiness is making plans to do fun stuff in the near future, and sticking to them.
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 05:53 PM
Sep 2014

Sometimes the best part of a vacation is just booking the damn thing so you have something to look forward too. I hope you get to go see your family and that everyone has a great time!

Raine1967

(11,589 posts)
21. Accept this wonderful gift.
Thu Sep 4, 2014, 06:12 PM
Sep 2014

I have been in your place before. This is a little bit of happy you need in your life.

hibbing

(10,076 posts)
22. I smell a consensus in the lounge....amazing!
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 12:58 AM
Sep 2014

I too say go for it. His friend would feel good by giving you this wonderful gift, you would get to see your son, your son would get to see you, it is a win win win.

On edit, I always get a great deal of satisfaction from giving what I can to causes or people, or doing favors, big or small.

Peace

fizzgig

(24,146 posts)
24. i know where you're coming from
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 04:08 AM
Sep 2014

it's hard for me to take help from others, but you just have to accept it when the universe presents such an opportunity.

go. see your son. be happy.

 

IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)
27. You graciously accept, because BF knows your son wants to see you.
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 08:56 AM
Sep 2014

And then, in the future, you pay it forward.

You also find a gracious way of doing something to make sure he knows how much this means to you -- when you put the pictures on Facebook, you make sure everyone references what an amazing person the BF is, and then you knit him a baby blanket for his first born or some other total "mom/grandma" thing -- paint a picture, make a scrapbook, whatever your hobby is -- and you celebrate the time with your son....

Once, when I was in a poor spot, both financially and emotionally, I ended up having SIX FUNERALS in SIX WEEKS. One of the hardest ones was across the country, and it did not look like I was going to be able to be there for somebody who meant a lot to me. Some online DU friends - who I had never met in real life - sent me a plane ticket, and I was able to make the funeral. I've never forgotten that, and have tried to pay it forward appropriately. It also let me say goodbye. It has been nearly a decade, and I still tear up when I think about that trip. (On a funny note, I picked the cheapest hotel due to finances, and discovered the door had bullet holes in it -- a little scary! And it was where military folk were hanging out while they were waiting to get sent places.)

So, have a fun trip!!!

Le Taz Hot

(22,271 posts)
28. You mention you've given to others
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 09:52 AM
Sep 2014

when times were better. This is your good karma coming back to you. You gave graciously, now accept graciously.

Lydia Leftcoast

(48,217 posts)
29. My mom used to say, "Be a gracious receiver."
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 10:16 AM
Sep 2014

If it will make someone happy to do something for you, don't argue!

Avalux

(35,015 posts)
30. You've answered your own question.
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 10:28 AM
Sep 2014

You need some happy?
Don't worry about what you should or shouldn't do, do what you FEEL like doing. Your son's best friend loves him so much he is offering to get you there so that everyone can be happy and enjoy a great time. How can you refuse that?

redwitch

(14,933 posts)
31. GO!
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 10:58 AM
Sep 2014

Or Skittles will kick your ass! Seriously though, you know it will make you happy to go, your son happy to see you and his friend happy that he can do something so nice for his friend. Everybody wins!

3catwoman3

(23,813 posts)
35. Allow this fine young man the privilege of being generous.
Fri Sep 5, 2014, 02:21 PM
Sep 2014

If your son were in the position to do the same thing for someone else, wouldn't you want him to, and be very proud of him when he did.

Tsiyu

(18,186 posts)
37. Life is far too short
Sat Sep 6, 2014, 07:09 PM
Sep 2014

to let a couple hundred dollars stand between you and those you love.

Money can be made again, over and over.

Moments with our kids can not be.

GO!111!!!11!!!!

 

Ron Obvious

(6,261 posts)
41. Any followup?
Sun Sep 7, 2014, 01:59 PM
Sep 2014

As someone who's been in that young man's position, I can tell you that you will make him (and yourself) most happy by accepting his offer.

Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)
43. No, it wouldn't be until the first week of December.
Tue Sep 16, 2014, 02:31 PM
Sep 2014

I think I've decided to hold off until spring. Missouri in December sounds horrible, plus it would only be for a few days, so I really wouldn't have time to do much. If I wait until spring, I can plan a drive to Chicago to see my sister. If I go in December, I won't be able to afford to go in the spring.

Instead, my husband offered to take me to NM for my 50th bday and our 5th anniversary. We've never taken a 'real' vacation and we both need to get away and relax.

Thank you for thinking about me, though!

Wait Wut

(8,492 posts)
45. LOL! It's actually...
Tue Sep 16, 2014, 02:47 PM
Sep 2014

...Annihallowirthday! My bday is Nov 4 and we were married on Halloween...unintentionally, I swear!

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