What do you like about yourself?

[happy wendy]

Well...I don't like myself. Because I'm not a good person. I'm jealous of those who are better than me. I know it's not good to be jealous of others. But I can't help myself. Especially theses days I'm jealous of one of my good friend. We work in the same company, she is better than me, many of my colleagues say that she is very good. Every time when I hear this, I feel bad. My conscience tells me that I shouldn't be that way, but I can't control myself being jealous of her. This tortures me a lot. What's the matter with me? So, sometimes I can't face myself. How could I be jealous of others?
But this is me who is not a good person but eager to be a good person.
What do you like about yourself? And does anyone here have the same experience as me? If you have, could you please share with me that how you break away from the jealousy? It will be very helpful for me. I will appreciate it.

[mackerel]

1. There are aspect of my personality

that I find challenging and I do work on it. Overall, I like myself. I think I'm funny.

Just do your best everyday and focus on the present it really helps.

[happy wendy]

17. I'll try it.

Last edited Wed Feb 24, 2016, 07:14 PM - Edit history (1)

Thanks for your advice. From now on, I'll do my best everyday and focus on the present. From what you said, I think you must live a relaxed life. I hope that I can live a relaxed life like you

[panader0]

2. I like you.

I like your user name. I like that you have a guitar as your avatar. I like that you are self-effacing.
C'mon over and play some guitar with me.
I'm too old to feel jealousy any more. I'm poor financially, but rich with friends, a sweet lady,
and four wonderful children. I have a brief meditation every morning as I shower, trying to
clean my mind as I clean my body. There will always be people who are better off than you
money-wise, or better looking, or smarter, or a better guitar player, and there will always be
those less fortunate. But you can never judge yourself by comparing yourself to others,
only by being you.

[happy wendy]

18. Thank you very much!

Hi, friend. What you said makes me feel warm and sweet. So nice to hear from you. You teach me a lot. Especially you said," I'm poor financially, but rich with friends". I gain a lot from this. To be honest, because of my jealousy, I didn't want to speak to my good friend and when she asked me to help her with something, I didn't want to help her and told her that I didn't know how to do it or I had no time. But my heart was uneasy and accused. After hearing what you said,now I know what I should do and I know what is the most important. Friendship is very important and I should cherish it. Now I'm willing to help my good friend and my heart is no longer accused. So, thank you very much!

[LiberalElite]

3. Why do you

think you're not a good person?

I compare myself to others (I find it hard not to) and I'm waaay too hard on myself, but I also know I'm not all bad. You aren't all bad either.

[MH1]

4. I like myself for what I'm good at, and for making an honest effort.

There are things I'm not good at. There are things I'm pretty good at, but I know there are others who are better than me. Then there's a couple things I'm really good at ... but then I know that somewhere in the world there is someone better than me at each of those things, too.

The key is to make an honest effort; do your best to do the right thing. If you know you made an honest effort and did your best, then you can be easier on yourself if the results aren't quite what you hoped, or if someone else did better. If there's room for growth, then always be open to learning.

If your question is serious, as I assume it is, I would recommend reading 1) The Four Agreements (don't fall for all the marketing, but the basic points are excellent); 2) any good book on basic Buddhist philosophy (specifically about the 4 Noble Truths and Eightfold Path).

[Skittles]

5. no one is better than you at EVERYTHING

[Glassunion]

6. My musical talent.

And my cooking.

I'm kind of like you, in a way. But my attitude is different. I celebrate other's accomplishments. I'm better than no one, is my core philosophy. But I use it to improve myself. In everyone, there is something to be admired.

[fizzgig]

8. miss seeing you in c&b

[Glassunion]

10. I've been so busy at work, in life, ect...

Can only devote 5 minutes here and there.

I'll be back when I have the time.

[fizzgig]

12. i feel you on life getting busy

we'll keep the light on for you.

[hibbing]

7. I'm self critical too

Not sure how I break away from it, but I continue on. I like that I live a moral and just life, not in a religious sense, but treating people with care and respect regardless of who they are. I like that I can enjoy simple things in life, for example tonight there was an absolutely stunning moon out. I think I'm funny and I think I'm a good cook.

Keep on keepin' on there.

And as always,

Peace

[surrealAmerican]

9. It's not how you feel that makes you a good or bad person.

It's what you do.

If you act on your jealousy by trying to harm others, that's one thing. If you act on it by trying to improve yourself, that's a very different thing.

I think you're being too hard on yourself for experiencing what are normal, human emotions.


... and Welcome to DU.

[Generic Brad]

11. Resiliency

Things don't go the way I hoped? Most of the time. But that doesn't prevent me from learning from what happened and try for a different approach. America is the land of second chances and there is always time and opportunity to change. I get frustrated at times, but I never completely give up.

Ask yourself this happy wendy: Do you intentionally hurt people? Do you actively try to make the world a worse place? I am certain your answer to both of these questions is no. You are inherently good and are allowed to make mistakes now and again.

My advice to you is that every minute of every day you have the chance to be the person you would like to be. Figure out the qualities or skills the ideal version of you should have. Then begin making small every day choices that eventually lead you there. That will help you focus more on you and less on your friend's achievements.

Feeling bad is not the same as being bad.

[Populist_Prole]

13. I'm a type B for sure, so it's not natural for me to think on those terms

Overly outgoing type As are irksome to me, but if I feel any scintilla of jealousy at all it's toward those who can be spontaneously forward without being glib schmoozers.

As it is I try to be keenly aware of what it is I don't know before making any proclamations or important decisions. I've been complemented by people I respect as being level-headed and rational. Analytical.

I guess I'm also proud to be, based on my observations, much more stoic than so many of my peers. I didn't have it hard hard growing up, but nowhere as easy as I've heard my friends and coworkers described their own upbringing and move into adulthood. It's made me roll with the punches through lean times much better than they.

Narcissist mode off.

[retrowire]

14. Reading your monologue I can determine something about you that you should like!

You're self aware. Know what that means? You're considerate. Know what that means? You're a good person.

Now stop beating yourself up.

What I like about myself is something I dislike at the same time.... I'm always hopeful.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

15. I'm pretty harmless.

I recycle and I'm kind to animals.

[narnian60]

21. Being kind to animals

speaks VOLUMES about a person.

[femmocrat]

16. You don't seem very happy, happy wendy.

Welcome to DU and to the Lounge.

Jealousy is normal and it doesn't mean that you are "not a good person". Being aware of negative attributes is the first step to improving yourself. I think you need a today!

[happy wendy]

19. Thanks! I'm better now.

Thanks for your encourage. To be honest, I was not happy before, but I'm better now. And I'm still happy wendy. So pleased to be a member of DU. You all help me a lot. I will enjoy staying here.

[easttexaslefty]

20. Honestly, not much.

Hugs