My adult son will be my new roommate in 25 days

[steve2470]

Any advice ? I haven't had a roommate since college. I'm excited, yet a tad nervous. He's a good liberal Democrat also, so that solves all those problems.

[ret5hd]

1. Hide your porn better.

[steve2470]

2. not a problem

I'm sure he will have his own.

[pinboy3niner]

3. You need to download a copy of Sheldon's Roommate Agreement

Anything not covered by the agreement will be decided by Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock.

[redwitch]

6. NOOOOO!!!! That agreement is ruining Leonard's life!

But I do think Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock would be a good way to decide many things.

[TexasBushwhacker]

4. Give each other space and have an exit strategy

As in his exit. I've had friends who have been taken advantage of by their kids. It's one thing to let them live with you while they save money for a specific goal (paying off student loans, saving for a house down payment, etc.) But they should be paying rent (even if you save the money and give it back to them). They should not live with you so they can work part time and party full time. It's your home. You can still have rules.

[steve2470]

5. totally agree

At first, he will be working full-time, paying a very reasonable rent (which I'll save for him), and no school at first. Hopefully...hopefully...he will eventually go to school. His choice, his timing.

[mnhtnbb]

7. Ground rules--set them up together

Cover things like:

Cleaning up after yourself: dishes, clothes, papers, stuff

If you are generally neat you don't want to be picking up after him

Household chores

who puts out the trash? who puts out the recycling?

are you sharing a bathroom or will he have his own?

Keeping his own space clean to a level that's acceptable to you--or keep the door closed

Having meals together? Or each one fixes what he wants? If having together,
he does part of the cooking. If he plans not to be home for dinner--and you think he will be
there and you're cooking, then he should let you know his plans changed.

Hours for music playing/TV

Sharing the living room space with guests? Schedule in advance? Hours?

Overnight guests (do you want to know ahead of time so you aren't parading around in your boxers
if someone else walks into the kitchen in the morning?)


It's basically trying to figure out how to respect each other in shared space.

[steve2470]

8. good ideas, thank you, well worth discussing! nt

[Thor_MN]

9. I just acquired my 21 YO neice (and her dog) as a roommate.

I had a spare room and she needed a place to stay.

She has her own room and bathroom and we work mostly opposite schedules.

I'd like to see her start eating more healthy, she mainly seems to do fast food...

Overall, she is sleeping when I leave for work, and I am in bed by the time she gets home. Seems to be working out OK from my POV so far.

[steve2470]

10. good to hear it's working out well

I think things will work out well with my son. The only glitch may be kitchen cleanliness, but we'll work it out.

[worstexever]

11. Would not work for me...

Might be okay for you. My son was recently in town for a job interview and spent the night. That was enough for me. He drinks too much, criticizes my diet and then "enhanced" our dinner at the last minute without offering to help wash any of the extra dishes he dirtied. At bedtime, he just disappeared without saying anything. I am glad he has his own place.

[Pakhet]

12. The main thing to remember is that you both still need your own

space and alone times. Sometimes I have to really back away, because when we're both home at the same time I always want to talk or do for or with him. He's good about it, but still... he moved back a little over a year ago, to help me and himself. We're a 3 generation household .