Old Friends

[Tobin S.]

A few of you may recall that I posted about an old friend who overdosed on drugs a few weeks ago. He is alright now and is recovering, but he has a major hill to climb if he ever wants to be sober again in the permanent kind of way. I have another friend who stays drunk all the time and has been that way for almost twenty years.

These guys live fifty miles away from me now. I moved from my hometown to be with my wife five and a half years ago. I haven't seen either of them in person in five years. I've talked to them on the phone, and we've sort of kept in touch.

I had an idea tonight. I thought that a visit might be in order. I've got a little extra money now, so I called them up and asked them to have lunch with me tomorrow, my treat. I offered to go over there and pick them up and take them anywhere they wanted to eat in town as long as it wasn't too pricey.

My alcoholic friend declined saying that he was sick and didn't want to get us sick. I thought that was pretty lame, but I know what the deal is. But the other guy accepted, to my surprise.

The subject of the conversation is not going to be drugs or alcohol unless my friend wants to talk about it. If he does, I'm not going to be judgemental. I'll just try to relate the best I can. I've been in some pretty bad places in my time and I used to get high with this friend when we were younger. I've got no room to be judgemental.

The thought is this. It will be good to see him again and hang out for a little while and probably talk about old times. Also, I know that drug abuse can rob you of your dignity. I want to restore that dignity, even if for only a few hours. You never know, it might plant a seed that will grow into good things.

[femmocrat]

1. You are such a good egg, Tobin.

Sorry to hear about your friend.

[Wounded Bear]

2. Good idea...

especially about not bringing up the drug problem. Let that come naturally if it does. It will do him good to see you sober, maybe give him a little hope that he can do it, too.

Nobody gets over addictions like that unless and until they want to. Interventions seldom work, but a benign visit from an old friend who has kicked the habit might just show him some hope.

[lunatica]

3. The fact is that addiction and alcoholism are a disease

You probably know this but I think most addicts and alcoholics try many times in their lives to quit but the addiction itself is so powerful that it makes it almost impossible to quit.

I smoked for 30 years and had worked up to smoking two packs a day in spite of trying to quit a hundred times. Once I quit for 2 years but then I thought I could smoke just one and that I could control it. That's when I realized that once you're an addict of anything you'll always be an addict. It's the same as it is to be an alcoholic. It took me another 15 years until I stumbled across a clinical study in which a pill was used to see if one could stop smoking. That pill is now used as Chantix and it works. I'm living proof. I haven't smoked for 20 years.

I hope someday there will be a pill that cures addictions of all kinds. I know it can be done with smoking so why not with alcohol and food.

[In_The_Wind]

4. Enjoy your lunch tomorrow. Perhaps all 3 of you can be together another time.

You're doing a good thing, Tobin.

[DemonGoddess]

5. This is a good thing you're doing for your friends. n/t

[Lars39]

6. Ripples....

Remember Sapphire Blue that used to post here long ago? We're all connected, all have influence.
Kudos, Tobin.

[Tobin S.]

7. It seems like I remember that user name, but I don't recall the story.

Thank you for the kind words.

[Tobin S.]

8. UPDATE

So we met and had lunch. It was the first time he'd been out to some place nice like that in a while and it seemed like he truly appreciated it. We talked about old times. We talked about other friends. We talked about drugs. I wished I could have stayed longer, but I had to get back to the house.

He's clean right now and has been since the overdose. Hopefully, it will be a lasting kind of thing.