I have resolved one of the most important issues in my life tonight.

[Tobin S.]

And it only took me 43 years to do it.

I think about three quarters of Americans are bat shit crazy. The number might be closer to seven eighths. There is no other explanation for the state we are in now. I'm not being all high and mighty here. I'm certified crazy and I have the psych meds to show for it. I have bipolar disorder. The difference between me and most other Americans is that I know I'm crazy and I'm trying to make myself a saner person.

Yep, our society is just nuts. When that is the case, the reaction most people will have is to become crazy as well. A big reason for my problems is that I was raised by crazy people who really didn't know what love was. But they were only reacting to their perception of reality which is insane in this country. When you are raised in an insane asylum, you have no choice but to be crazy. There is no other option when that is all you have known since birth. It takes a serious jolt to your psyche to be able to see outside of that...to be able to see outside of your worldview.

I had a really hard night at work tonight. I didn't do a damn thing, but it was probably one of the toughest eight hours of my life. There was no one around, but I had to be in there just in case I was needed. I didn't do anything but sit there and think all night, and I got lost in my head like I used to before I got treatment. I'm very introverted. Some people see that as a positive trait, but it almost cost me my life. Before treatment I would get lost in my head for long periods of time. It would get to the point where I couldn't find my way back to here and I would come to the conclusion that I was better off dead. That's one hell of a price to pay just for trying to figure stuff out.

But that didn't happen tonight. It ended at about a half hour before my shift was up. I had one of those epiphany type moments when I realized it's not just me or just 5% of the population. The normal state of being in our society is bat shit insane. Few people in our country have a good grasp on reality.

The first question was, "What the hell is going on?" The next question is, "What do I do now?"

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Wow, my dear Tobin!

That's a lot of heavy thinking. And to have the whole shift to do it........well, wow.

I have no idea what you should do now, but whatever you decide will most likely be right for you.

Take care!

[First Speaker]

2. I feel like you've read my mind...

...I have bipolar too, and have had some major depression issues. I've been right where you were tonight. I have gotten better, for the most part...and without drugs, because they--all of them--made me suicidal. I'll be thinking and praying for you. And on a lighter note--if you can find it, read an old short story by SF/fantasy writer Fritz Lieber entitled "Sanity". It'll give you a laugh...

[Tobin S.]

4. Thank you for the recommendation.

[snot]

3. I just read an article I think you might like: Franco Berardi's "Schizo-Economy"

He talks about how we're indoctrinated that we have to be entrepreneurial and competitive, and bombarded by info and infotainment, and how our labor is now cognitive and is monetized in relatively small increments, as needed by corporations, without providing much pay or any social security; and competitive and other pressures also mean that we no longer have any uninterrupted personal time; we are constantly on call via our phones. And he's saying these conditions cause great stress and leave little or no time for reflection or for loving relationships, and are literally psychopathogenic, that we've been getting by with massive increases in the use of prozac, ritalin, and other legal or illegal pharmacologal support, but that this merely delays the inevitable breakdown.

(Unfortunately I can't give you a link to a free version online.)

[Tobin S.]

5. Thanks, snot. I'll check into it.

I can relate. I have to work six days a week just to get by. I'm not going to have any vacation time for at least a year.

[Tobin S.]

8. Excellent article.

I found it at the following link. I assume that's the entire piece.

https://destructural.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/6333-schizo_economy.pdf

[Electric Monk]

10. Thank you, from some stranger on the internet in the middle of the night on a Sunday

nt

[Tobin S.]

14. You're welcome, Mr. Monk. nt

[snot]

16. Yes, that's it.

I thought the article pretty prescient considering it was published before the 2008 crash.

[airplaneman]

6. Hi Tobin S.

Let me share something my sister told me many years ago that still sticks with me today.
She has suffered from depression for most all of her life.
You know when you are working a problem in your mind you kind of go into a full circle on the problem. If the problem is resolved you move on. If you are going though the same circle on the same problem over and over again that it the definition of depression. The only thing you can do about a problem is look at it from a different place. Therapy, drugs, time and life changes only gives you an avenue to look at a problem from a different angel. The problem itself usually never really goes away but looking at it from a different angle can feel much better. I hope that you too find that better place.
-Airplane

[Skittles]

7. CORRECT

people are constantly comparing themselves to others, who very often are nuts

[Helen Borg]

9. There Is another explanation.

Soul invading aliens. 😊

[840high]

11. Hugs to you.

[PoliticalMalcontent]

12. Very deep stuff, Tobin.

Thanks for sharing.

Have a lot of the same feelings. It's hard to make headway in life when you're constantly fighting. I know I'm always looking for an intellectual fight. How the fuck do you talk reason with people who seem to disavow reality though? That's what always gets me. Anyway... you're right. The only thing you can do once you realize that people are nuts is figure out how best to live life for yourself.

Thanks again. I appreciate your insights.

[malthaussen]

13. But if insanity is normal...

... then it isn't insanity. I've maintained this for years, incidentally. The secret of life is to find the people who share your insanity.

-- Mal

[lunatica]

15. Find your Truth and be faithful to it

You're right that we live in a world of insanity. Bat shit insanity as proven by the wars we are forever pursuing without ever really understanding why. Or by accepting the perversity and sickness of our society's mores as if they're normal human behavior.

At some point, when you realize the true insanity of our shared reality you usually have to figure out what the Truth is. That's what I chose to do many years ago, perhaps when I was your age or younger. This is what conclusions I've come to for what it's worth.
Reality is relative. But Truth isn't.

No matter how much we diverge from each other in religion, language, customs, upbringing or age there is a core in all of us that, for lack of a better word I call Truth with a capital 'T'.

It's as simple as knowing that as long as you are aware of your own existence then that is real. That is Truth. You can be true to that. You know you can't go wrong as long as you know you exist in your consciousness. And if you know our world is insane, then part of you, probably very deep within must know what being sane is.

For a few decades I've been trying my best to go sane. It's not easy in this insane world and most people would say I'm insane to do it. It's quite the paradox but it's my Truth.

This is the reason why in my own convoluted way of reflecting the Truth through words that I call myself Lunatica.

[My Good Babushka]

17. I think if I didn't have my painting

I would be an introvert like that, lost in my own head. Working is my salvation.

[Mr.Bill]

18. And the really crazy ones

are those who work in the mental health industry.

But still, their calling is noble. My wife is a retired RN and earlier in her career she worked in that branch in of the medical field. She says she quickly became convinced that many people in that field don't go into it to help others, they do it to try to figure out how to help themselves.

My personal experience is anecdotal, there is a guy I know who is now around 60 years old, whom I have known since high school. He was a drug addict for most of his life, went through rehab several times and attempted suicide a couple of times. He is now a Doctor of Psychology and works with drug addicts. He did figure himself out and has been clean and sober for nearly 20 years. My wife says his story, while extreme, is not an unusual one in that industry.

I'm sure many don't see it this way, just my .02 worth.