A CHRISTMAS CAROL

[vkkv]

A CHRISTMAS CAROL
by Victor Krag


'TWAS the winter of our discontent
The five of us living in this tiny tent
So very poor, though never a bore
Happy hiding out in an R.E.I. store.
Then, "Get out you! Go On! Shoo! Scram!"
The night-clerk yelled as we ran and we ran
Into the breezeway onto cold hard cement
The perfect preserver of floor condiment.
Chewing the Power Bars that we grabbed running out
Dipping them in catsup and the mustard strewn about
Bundling up boxes, all we could as we're moving
Cardboard was warm and gentle and soothing.

'To the far lot' I called to my good family
Taking shelter beneath a tall Christmas tree
The little one cried "Daddy, I think that I'm sick"
'Oh don’t worry Tim, here comes fat old Saint Nick'
"Ho Ho Ho, now who have we here?
Easy now son, have some of my beer"

Things were looking better, though not as good as before
"Who's got it better than us?" was our chant in the store
"Nobody!" we yelled with all the pride we could give
Long after Levi's Stadium was built on the field where we'd lived.

Santa was cheerful and kind, but smelly
Offering us his moldy peanut butter and jelly
While Santa was ranting and burping bloviations
I began having some wild hallucinations
Moldy rye bread I’m told was hallucinogenic
And Santa's sandwich was hardly fresh nor authentic
Whoa, I see Dasher! now Dancer! now Prancer and Vixen!
Comet with Cupid and Donner and Blitzen
What's going to happen when this stuff really kicks in?!
My family are now elves drinking eggnog mint juleps
Christmas tree lights shooting laser-like bullets
And my boy Tim syncing Tip-Toe Through The Tulips

Our Santa is now kissing the Christmas tree vendor
Yep, Christmas is here, in all of it's splendor.


copyright 2013 Victor R. Krag