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Mon Feb 20, 2017, 09:55 PM

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician out hunting.

The physicist calculates the trajectory using ballistic equations, but assumes no air resistance, so his shot falls 5 meters short. The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, and his shot lands 5 meters long. The statistician yells "We got 'em!"

A man is on his first visit to Boston, and he wants to try some of that delicious New England seafood that he'd long heard about. So he gets into a cab, and asks the driver, "Can you take me to where I can get scrod?" The driver replies, "I've heard that question a thousand time, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive."

Nerd Jokes...got hundreds of 'em.

13 replies, 1490 views

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Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
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Arrow 13 replies Author Time Post
Reply A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician out hunting. (Original post)
NNadir Feb 2017 OP
Xipe Totec Feb 2017 #1
rurallib Feb 2017 #2
underpants Feb 2017 #3
TexasProgresive Feb 2017 #4
mitch96 Feb 2017 #12
hwmnbn Feb 2017 #5
needledriver Feb 2017 #6
needledriver Feb 2017 #7
lunasun Feb 2017 #8
hvn_nbr_2 Feb 2017 #9
longship Feb 2017 #10
A HERETIC I AM Feb 2017 #11
mahatmakanejeeves Feb 2017 #13

Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 09:58 PM

1. This probably funny to the average reader. nt

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 10:00 PM

2. roflmao



ETA - there is some really funny stuff over there

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 10:18 PM

3. I actually understood some of those

More german stuff kind of

Angela Merkel arrives at Passport Control at Paris airport.

"Nationality?" asks the immigration officer.

"German," she replies.

"Occupation?"

"No, just here for a few days."



How may Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two; One to screw in the lightbulb and one to hold the penis... I mean ladder.

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 10:18 PM

4. The 1st was funny the 2nd nearly made me throw up laughing-thanks n/t

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Response to TexasProgresive (Reply #4)

Tue Feb 21, 2017, 12:10 AM

12. Same here

Funny as shit.. I'm still chuckling I had to look it up blewperpekt subdunit or someting...
m

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 10:34 PM

5. OMG...

I bookmarked it, thanks!

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 10:36 PM

6. Wouldn't not allowing for air resistance

mean the shot would go long?

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Response to needledriver (Reply #6)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 10:41 PM

7. Never mind. I figured it out.

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 11:01 PM

8. Thanks for the link :)

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 11:26 PM

9. Pluperfect subjunctive

I swear that I heard that joke 40 years ago when I was traveling to Boston for work, and the tense was exactly the same, pluperfect subjunctive. It's kind of amazing nobody in 40 years thought they could make up a better name for a tense and change the joke.

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 11:31 PM

10. A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of a joke?"

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Mon Feb 20, 2017, 11:48 PM

11. A doctor, a lawyer and an engineer were playing a round of golf....

and come up on a foursome playing E X T R E M E L Y S L O W LY.
The foursome does not wave the threesome up to play through, and after following them for 3 holes, they start to get aggravated, so they call over the course marshal.

"Look, " says the doctor, we've been trying to play through those guys for 3 holes now. Isn't there something you can do?

The marshal says "Now wait a minute, gents. Those four men are firefighters who were blinded last year while fighting a fire in our own clubhouse. They saved 15 people, saved the clubhouse from burning to the ground and lost their sight as a result. They're allowed to play here for free for the rest of their lives, so we ask you have some patience and respect."

The doctor now feels terrible for complaining and says "You know, I am colleagues with some of the finest medical minds in the country. Perhaps I can contact one of the eye specialists and find a way to help them.

The lawyer says, "Yes, I think I can rally the boys in the local Bar Association and do a fund raiser to pay for the treatment.

The engineer says....


"Why can't they just play at night?"



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Response to A HERETIC I AM (Reply #11)

Tue Feb 21, 2017, 12:32 AM

13. I love that one. It's great. NT

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