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Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:41 AM

Do you know any old "sayings" or phrases that are humorous or interesting?

This morning I replied to a thread and I was reminded of an old phrase my Great Grandpa used. I have always been fascinated by our language and how it has evolved. I enjoy watching old shows like Twilight Zone and notice subtle changes from as little as 50 years ago.

Anyway, my Great Grandpa had alot of "sayings." The one I used in my reply was, "Go to hell and pump thunder." I will not pretend to know exactly how this phrase came into existence, but I can see how thunder and hell could both be considered bad things.

Do any of you have any phrases from your past that have fallen out of use? I would really like to hear them, even if they are still used but possibly not known to younger generations. I can remember other things my Great Grandpa said, but not all of them would be suitable for the forum.

220 replies, 22245 views

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Reply Do you know any old "sayings" or phrases that are humorous or interesting? (Original post)
LOL Lib Mar 2017 OP
Dustlawyer Mar 2017 #1
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #3
Arkansas Granny Mar 2017 #2
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #4
Iggo Mar 2017 #6
Iggo Mar 2017 #5
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #8
trof Apr 2017 #176
Floyd R. Turbo Mar 2017 #7
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #9
WePurrsevere Mar 2017 #10
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #11
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #39
WePurrsevere Mar 2017 #42
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #44
WePurrsevere Mar 2017 #46
Marthe48 Mar 2017 #150
trof Apr 2017 #175
WePurrsevere Apr 2017 #187
trof Apr 2017 #182
WePurrsevere Apr 2017 #188
trof Apr 2017 #177
WePurrsevere Apr 2017 #186
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #214
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #12
brewens Mar 2017 #155
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #166
MosheFeingold Mar 2017 #13
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #17
trof Apr 2017 #181
Hayduke Bomgarte Mar 2017 #14
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #18
littlemissmartypants Mar 2017 #106
Bayard Mar 2017 #15
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #19
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #213
TlalocW Mar 2017 #16
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #20
pinboy3niner Mar 2017 #21
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #22
OxQQme Mar 2017 #52
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #56
Grammy23 Mar 2017 #48
frogmarch Mar 2017 #23
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #24
frogmarch Mar 2017 #26
whathehell Mar 2017 #72
trof Apr 2017 #179
LOL Lib Apr 2017 #183
amerikat Mar 2017 #154
frogmarch Mar 2017 #25
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #27
TeapotInATempest Mar 2017 #28
Dustlawyer Mar 2017 #32
TeapotInATempest Mar 2017 #33
appleannie1943 Mar 2017 #65
VOX Apr 2017 #184
yellowdogintexas Apr 2017 #220
pinboy3niner Mar 2017 #29
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #215
brush Mar 2017 #30
Faux pas Mar 2017 #31
oberliner Mar 2017 #34
Skittles Mar 2017 #35
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #36
FakeNoose Mar 2017 #37
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #38
GP6971 Mar 2017 #160
japple Mar 2017 #43
JCinNYC Apr 2017 #219
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #40
OxQQme Mar 2017 #53
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #57
appleannie1943 Mar 2017 #63
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #80
oldcynic Apr 2017 #196
appleannie1943 Apr 2017 #205
GoneOffShore Mar 2017 #142
The Velveteen Ocelot Mar 2017 #41
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #45
lastlib Mar 2017 #74
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #81
TuxedoKat Mar 2017 #47
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #49
annabanana Mar 2017 #50
SwissTony Apr 2017 #180
Turbineguy Mar 2017 #51
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #58
Marthe48 Mar 2017 #151
doc03 Mar 2017 #54
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #59
doc03 Mar 2017 #64
FakeNoose Mar 2017 #70
dchill Mar 2017 #107
FakeNoose Mar 2017 #122
dchill Mar 2017 #137
Nac Mac Feegle Mar 2017 #139
lunasun Mar 2017 #163
dinger130 Mar 2017 #55
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #60
mercuryblues Mar 2017 #61
appleannie1943 Mar 2017 #62
doc03 Mar 2017 #66
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #82
dubyadiprecession Mar 2017 #67
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #83
cos dem Mar 2017 #68
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #85
TEB Mar 2017 #69
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #86
madamesilverspurs Mar 2017 #71
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #87
rurallib Mar 2017 #73
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #89
Marthe48 Mar 2017 #152
Laffy Kat Mar 2017 #75
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #96
luvMIdog Mar 2017 #76
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #97
Doodley Mar 2017 #77
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #94
applegrove Mar 2017 #78
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #99
applegrove Mar 2017 #111
Kimchijeon Mar 2017 #79
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #92
3catwoman3 Mar 2017 #84
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #91
Panich52 Mar 2017 #88
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #90
Panich52 Mar 2017 #117
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #123
Panich52 Mar 2017 #143
pnwest Mar 2017 #93
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #95
Laffy Kat Mar 2017 #98
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #100
Laffy Kat Mar 2017 #110
Adsos Letter Mar 2017 #101
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #103
Rollo Mar 2017 #102
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #104
Trailrider1951 Mar 2017 #109
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #124
Wolf Frankula Mar 2017 #161
VOX Apr 2017 #189
Lebam in LA Mar 2017 #105
missingthebigdog Mar 2017 #108
Jamaal510 Mar 2017 #112
wishstar Mar 2017 #115
lunasun Mar 2017 #170
Hamlette Mar 2017 #113
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #126
sl8 Mar 2017 #114
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #128
Wolf Frankula Mar 2017 #116
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #127
pressbox69 Mar 2017 #118
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #125
Cairycat Mar 2017 #119
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #129
VOX Apr 2017 #185
hunter Mar 2017 #120
mikeargo Mar 2017 #121
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #132
retread Mar 2017 #147
Behind the Aegis Mar 2017 #130
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #133
redstatebluegirl Mar 2017 #131
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #134
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #212
mikeargo Mar 2017 #135
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #136
lunasun Mar 2017 #164
Alice11111 Mar 2017 #138
radical noodle Apr 2017 #204
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #207
radical noodle Apr 2017 #216
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #217
Nac Mac Feegle Mar 2017 #140
Thor_MN Mar 2017 #141
ailsagirl Mar 2017 #144
fNord Mar 2017 #145
Callmecrazy Mar 2017 #146
Recursion Mar 2017 #148
Dakotacrat Mar 2017 #149
brewens Mar 2017 #153
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #167
Metsie Casey Mar 2017 #156
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #211
amerikat Mar 2017 #157
wyldwolf Mar 2017 #158
rurallib Mar 2017 #159
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #168
rurallib Mar 2017 #172
Wolf Frankula Mar 2017 #162
Marthe48 Mar 2017 #165
LOL Lib Mar 2017 #169
Jane Austin Mar 2017 #171
VOX Apr 2017 #192
discntnt_irny_srcsm Mar 2017 #173
Panich52 Apr 2017 #174
LOL Lib Apr 2017 #178
Panich52 Apr 2017 #200
mattvermont Apr 2017 #190
Still Blue in PDX Apr 2017 #191
Jack-o-Lantern Apr 2017 #193
VOX Apr 2017 #194
OrwellwasRight Apr 2017 #195
oldcynic Apr 2017 #197
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #210
Texasgal Apr 2017 #198
steve2470 Apr 2017 #199
applegrove Apr 2017 #201
lost-in-nj Apr 2017 #202
Leith Apr 2017 #203
littlemissmartypants Apr 2017 #206
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #208
Alice11111 Apr 2017 #209
DFW Apr 2017 #218

Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:44 AM

1. Trump makes me as nervous as a long tailed cat

in a rocking chair factory!

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Response to Dustlawyer (Reply #1)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:46 AM

3. That is awesome!

Thanks!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:45 AM

2. My Swedish grandmother had one that I use quite often.

"Live and learn. Some people only live."

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Response to Arkansas Granny (Reply #2)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:46 AM

4. Love it!

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Response to Arkansas Granny (Reply #2)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:48 AM

6. I like that one.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:47 AM

5. I like the "Bob" ones.

Yesiree, Bob.

-- and --

Bob's your uncle.

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Response to Iggo (Reply #5)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:57 AM

8. Haha! Yes I have heard those for sure.

Thanks for the reply.

I am at work, so I may not be able to get back to every reply until tonight!

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Response to Iggo (Reply #5)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:19 PM

176. Yessiree BobTAIL!

No idea what that means except I guess it means you absolutely agree with whatever was said?

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:54 AM

7. Crazy as a

shithouse rat!

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Response to Floyd R. Turbo (Reply #7)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:58 AM

9. Love this one too.

I have personally changed it to a "meth lab rat" on occasion.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:59 AM

10. Never teach a pig to sing...

It's a waste of time and annoys the pig.

Slower than molasses going uphill (to which I've always added, on a icy cold Winter day, or such)

As useless as tits on a boar hog.

I love using older sayings when opportunity knocks but these are prob the ones I use the most often.

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Response to WePurrsevere (Reply #10)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:05 PM

11. Awesome examples!

I never heard the teach a pig to sing saying!!!

Useless as tits on a boar hog is one I love and have heard many times! These are great!

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Response to WePurrsevere (Reply #10)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:16 PM

39. Just remembered: "Hurry up kid, you are slower than Christmas and it only comes around once a year!"

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #39)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:25 PM

42. Lol! I haven't heard that one in eons.

I just remembered one my dad used to use a lot when I'd ask him what time it was...
Half-passed kissing time.

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Response to WePurrsevere (Reply #42)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:38 PM

44. Aww! That is cute!

I have heard half-passed a monkey's ass. LOL, I think my grand dad just made stuff up to be honest.

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #44)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:53 PM

46. I've heard that one too but my dad...

who's 95 and still 'forked end down' (there's another oldie), has never been one to use 'cuss' words not even a rather blasé one like ass. He's very old school in some ways.

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #44)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:00 PM

150. and a quarter to his balls

heard my brothers (who got it from my Dad) say it many timess

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Response to WePurrsevere (Reply #42)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:15 PM

175. Probably 'half -past'?

As in after?

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Response to trof (Reply #175)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:10 PM

187. Yes, that's right. I don't know why I messed that up...

Except that I'm not as perfect as some.

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Response to WePurrsevere (Reply #42)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:29 PM

182. Two hairs past a freckle. (No watch)

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Response to trof (Reply #182)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:12 PM

188. Cool... I've not heard it that way before. nt

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Response to WePurrsevere (Reply #10)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:21 PM

177. Never 'TRY' to teach a pig to sing...

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Response to trof (Reply #177)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:00 PM

186. That would probably be more accurate...

although I'm sure pigs are smart enough that they can be taught to 'sing' like my Westie is, I'm not sure we'd want to listen to it.

Anyway, I was quoting my late MIL and that's exactly how she said it. I think might have been because it flowed off the tongue easier.

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Response to trof (Reply #177)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 05:06 AM

214. "Pig in a parlour," or "a bull in a china closet,"

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:06 PM

12. Another one I just remembered, "Trump is so ugly he would stop an 8 day clock!"

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #12)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:13 PM

155. If my dog looked like Trump, I'd shave his butt and make him walk backwards! n/t

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Response to brewens (Reply #155)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 11:06 PM

166. That's a great one!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:23 PM

13. If you can't say anything nice,

say it in Yiddish.

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Response to MosheFeingold (Reply #13)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:35 PM

17. Yiddish wins the thread!

Donald trump is an alter cocker and he can kish mein tuchas aran!

I probably screwed up the kish mein tuchas spelling.

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Response to MosheFeingold (Reply #13)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:28 PM

181. "Come sit by me". - Alice Roosevelt

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:25 PM

14. Finer than

Frogs hair

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Response to Hayduke Bomgarte (Reply #14)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:36 PM

18. Very fine indeed!

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Response to Hayduke Bomgarte (Reply #14)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:24 PM

106. Spit three ways. eom

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:28 PM

15. My Mom's Favorite

Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.

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Response to Bayard (Reply #15)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:38 PM

19. Ah yes, I'm guilty of this unfortunately.

I think we all have made this mistake out of anger or frustration.

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Response to Bayard (Reply #15)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 05:04 AM

213. My grandmother said that a lot.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:31 PM

16. I can guarantee that this is hardly used

It was kind of a private joke, but it always made me laugh

My best friend's grandma liked to tell his grandpa, "Ferme la bouche," which is French for shut your mouth, to which he would invariably reply, "Hash-ka on the pah-hah," which he said translates to, "The cat pissed on the pump handle."

We don't see each other that much anymore, but when we do, one of us will normally trot it out at inappropriate times in the conversation. "My kid had mumps last month." "Well, you know what they say - hashka on the pah-hah."

TlalocW

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Response to TlalocW (Reply #16)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:40 PM

20. Oooh those are very colorful. Thanks!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:42 PM

21. Another version of the "Is the Pope Catholic?" reply is "Is a bullfrog waterproof?"

A songwriter friend once had a bet with another songwriter about which one could be the first to issue a recording using the bullfrog line. My friend won with his song, 'I'd Run Red Lights for You,' which incuded the lines:

You ask me if I love you babe
Is a bullfrog waterproof?

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #21)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:45 PM

22. LOL, does a fat hog fart?

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #22)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:36 PM

52. Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?

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Response to OxQQme (Reply #52)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:43 PM

56. OMG!!!

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #21)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 06:13 PM

48. Does a goose go barefoot? Does a bear sh*t in the woods?

Is the pope Catholic?

Is a pork chop greasy?

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:45 PM

23. Busier than a one-armed paper hanger

is what my mom used to say she was when she was busier than a one-armed paper hanger.

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Response to frogmarch (Reply #23)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:49 PM

24. Busier than a one-legged man in an ass kicking contest!

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #24)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:56 PM

26. :-D

Good one!

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #24)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:53 PM

72. Yes!

One of my dad's favorites, although I think it may have been "unluckier than....(said unfortunate man)'






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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #24)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:26 PM

179. Busier than a one armed man in an ass kicking contest!

I like to mix metaphors.

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Response to trof (Reply #179)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:32 PM

183. Haha

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Response to frogmarch (Reply #23)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:12 PM

154. With fleas (NT)

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:55 PM

25. My mom used to call me a

skinny rump strap when I was a wiry young kid too busy to eat. I had no idea what a rump strap was. Mom was born in 1903, so she did. I still have no idea what being thin had to do with a rump strap.

Picture showing a rump strap:

https://tile.loc.gov/image-services/jp2.py?data=/service/afc/afc1991021/afc1991021_43636.jp2&res=2#h=672&w=985

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Response to frogmarch (Reply #25)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 12:59 PM

27. I have never heard that one! It is very appropriate when seen in the pic next to a huge horse!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 01:11 PM

28. When my mom had had enough of her children's behavior

She'd threaten to knock us into next Tuesday, lol.

Also, my father didn't swear (weird as he was an ex-sailor), but when he was really angry he'd exclaim, "Hell's bells!".

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Response to TeapotInATempest (Reply #28)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 03:36 PM

32. My dad would tell us to go play on the freeway!

He didn't know that we took him literally a few times, our street ended at a new highway.

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Response to Dustlawyer (Reply #32)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 03:41 PM

33. Is it terrible that this made me laugh?

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Response to Dustlawyer (Reply #32)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:04 PM

65. If the kids were running around my husband would tell them what his grampa used to tell him

"Sit down and give your butt a surprise"

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Response to appleannie1943 (Reply #65)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:49 PM

184. Hahaha never heard that one!

And I've been around! (Creak, creak)

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Response to TeapotInATempest (Reply #28)

Tue Apr 11, 2017, 03:02 PM

220. my mom's version "Hells Bells and Panther Tracks" no I don't know why nt

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 01:15 PM

29. "Doomed if you do and doomed if you don't."

My ex had a way of mangling sayings to amusing effect. That was the most memorable.

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Response to pinboy3niner (Reply #29)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 05:09 AM

215. I still hear it, but damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Caught in "Catch 22."

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 01:37 PM

30. If I tell you a chicken has lips, look under her wing for a can of Skoal.

Also: Happy as a fat rat in a cheese factory.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 01:48 PM

31. One of my

favorites is our family 'motto', and we still use it. "When in danger and in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout!"

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 03:44 PM

34. "Sometimes you kill the bear, sometimes the bear kills you"

 

Also:

"No one ever misses a slice from a cut loaf"

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 03:45 PM

35. the rooster crows, but the hen delivers the goods

yes indeed

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Response to Skittles (Reply #35)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 04:11 PM

36. I'm totally going to be using this one!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:06 PM

37. Every time Grandpa drove past the cemetery

... he'd say "People are dying to get in there."

He thought it was hilarious, and all the grandkids did too.


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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #37)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:11 PM

38. It is hilarious, I'm going to file that one away to use on my kids and grandkids.

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #38)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:26 PM

160. The old one

to get in to a locked cemetery all you need is skeleton key

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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #37)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:26 PM

43. My uncle always said something like that. He said "the water around here isn't fit to drink.

All the cemeteries are full of people who drank it."

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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #37)

Tue Apr 11, 2017, 11:51 AM

219. the compliment to the cemetery one is....

As a father & son pass a cemetery...

Son:
"Hey Dad, How many dead people do you think are in there"

Father:
"All of em"

My father used to pull that one out every single time we drove passed one.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:17 PM

40. "It's colder than a well digger's ass in Alaska."

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #40)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:38 PM

53. Cold enough to freeze the nuts off a steel bridge.

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Response to OxQQme (Reply #53)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:44 PM

57. Nice!!

Haven't heard that one, but it sure is a good clean version!!!

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #40)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:02 PM

63. My dad always said "It is cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey".

I learned a couple years ago that a brass monkey was what they called the metal holder for cannon balls. When it was really cold, the balls could start rolling off the holder. That is where that saying came to be.

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Response to appleannie1943 (Reply #63)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:33 PM

80. Finding the origin of these old sayings is the most fascinating part to me.

Thank you for the explanation!

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Response to appleannie1943 (Reply #63)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 08:37 PM

196. I thought it meant that brass didn't freeze

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Response to oldcynic (Reply #196)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 03:24 AM

205. On a ship, the plate was called a monkey. It was made of brass. It had indentations for

the cannon balls. In extremely cold weather the brass would contract just enough that the cannon balls could roll off with the roll of the ship. Hence the phrase.

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #40)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 04:48 PM

142. Colder than the north side of a south bound polar bear.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:24 PM

41. "He's so stupid he couldn't piss a hole straight in the snow."

"He couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel."

(About something that smells bad): "That would stink a dog off a gut wagon."

"He's as useless as tits on a boar hog."

"It's colder'n a witch's tit."


The above courtesy of my dad, who got them from his dad.

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #41)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:41 PM

45. Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra was the one I heard. ROFL!

I also heard a version of the gut wagon..."Gag a maggot off the gut wagon."


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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #41)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:55 PM

74. One really cold day this past winter, a friend of mine.....

said it was "colder than Kellyanne Conway's tits"! I about fell off a truck laughing at that one!

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Response to lastlib (Reply #74)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:34 PM

81. That is full of WIN! She sure looks and acts like a wicked witch!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 05:56 PM

47. "Doesn't have the sense God gave geese".

That's one a former supervisor used to often use. Here's one from I learned from friends in Spain (Barcelona) that I've never used but have been tempted to (!):

"Who the hell gave birth to you!?"

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Response to TuxedoKat (Reply #47)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 06:39 PM

49. Ooh that one is nasty but I like it! :D

This one isn't old but yours reminded me of it, "Did your parents have any children that lived?"

Something you would ask a dumb person (brain dead) or any republican.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:33 PM

50. Oh go fry ice! . . n/t

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Response to annabanana (Reply #50)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:27 PM

180. I used to fry ice cream!!

Get the ice cream REALLY cold, then coat it with layers of breadcrumbs. Stick it in a pot of hot oil, cook it, pour on a bit of syrup.

Warning: I did this many years ago for a girlfriend and she married me (35 years).

In Glasgow, Scotland, you can get deep-fried Mars Bars!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:36 PM

51. As

fucked up as a soup sandwich.

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Response to Turbineguy (Reply #51)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:46 PM

58. LOL that's extremely fucked up.

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Response to Turbineguy (Reply #51)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:05 PM

151. Sucks like a soup bean sandwich

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:39 PM

54. Very appropriate saying for the Trump supporters "They bought

a pig in a poke"

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Response to doc03 (Reply #54)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:49 PM

59. Ahh I have heard this one, but never understood what it meant.

So I had to look it up....
To basically buy something without examining it carefully. "a pig in a sack"
Thanks! I love learning about the history behind our language!

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #59)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:04 PM

64. I quess back years ago when there was a shortage meat you could buy

a "Pig in a Poke" but since dogs and cats were plentiful you could get dog or cat meat instead.

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Response to doc03 (Reply #54)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:30 PM

70. Pig in a poke might have originated in Western Pennsylvania

We actually have some slang words in the Pittsburgh area and western PA that other people never hear.

Poke is one of them - it means bag or sack
Gumband - it means rubberband
Yinz - you, or the plural of you (as a southerner would say y'all)
Pop - the word for any brand of soft drink (we never say soda)

There are others, but these are the most well known.


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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #70)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:25 PM

107. Are yinz from Picksburgh?

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Response to dchill (Reply #107)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 11:56 AM

122. Yep

Down on the Nor-side.

You?

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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #122)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 02:04 PM

137. About 75 miles north.

But I've been to all the best hospitals!

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Response to FakeNoose (Reply #70)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 02:07 PM

139. One origin story I heard

Was that the phrases "Buying a pig in a poke" and "Let the cat out of the bag" were related.

"Poke" is an old term, I've heard it from Southern and Eastern people, for a cloth sack, such as a flour sack or gunny sack. When buying piglets, an unscrupulous seller might short you a few piglets and substitute a few cats. Opening the 'poke' let the cat out of the bag, revealing that you'd been cheated.

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Response to Nac Mac Feegle (Reply #139)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 10:16 PM

163. My understanding too . If it is in a poke look inside and make sure you got a piggie

By checking the poke and "Letting the cat out of the bag " you expose the seller was tricking you before getting ripped off
So don't buy a pig in a poke. Open the bag then you are really buying a piglet not any pig in a poke
Never buy a piginapoke
You'll be half way home
And find it has a furry cloak!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:41 PM

55. An old Bluegrass Kentucky saying -

Trot Mama,
Trot Daddy,
How can you expect the colt to pace?

Kinda like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

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Response to dinger130 (Reply #55)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:51 PM

60. Took me a minute, but I now I get it.

Thanks

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:51 PM

61. Hustle your bustle

Hustle your bustle....hurry up

Go fly a kite

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 07:58 PM

62. It ain't over till the fat lady sings.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:08 PM

66. "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" you can determine how old a

horse is by how much his teeth are worn down.

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Response to doc03 (Reply #66)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:36 PM

82. Ah brilliant! Never quite understood this one until now.

If it's free you shouldn't be picky!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:13 PM

67. I read that if President Truman wanted to have a drink with someone.

He would say, "lets strike a blow for liberty".

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Response to dubyadiprecession (Reply #67)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:37 PM

83. That is as good a reason to drink as I can imagine. :)

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:13 PM

68. If it ain't broke, don't fix it

One of my favorites from my Grandad.

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Response to cos dem (Reply #68)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:41 PM

85. I use this one and believe that it is a wise creed to live by.

I learned it from my Dad and have used it many times. I used to be terrible about second guessing myself, and this has served me well. You truly can screw things up by trying to fix them.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:16 PM

69. to quote my old infantry platoon sergeant

Boys there are those who can and do and that is us then there are those who think they can and can't and there the assholes running the show.

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Response to TEB (Reply #69)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:43 PM

86. Love it! Someone needs to send this to Drumpf!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:48 PM

71. My chiropractor laughed out loud

when I used one of my grandmother's sayings to describe my complaint: I've got a hitch in my getalong.


.

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Response to madamesilverspurs (Reply #71)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:48 PM

87. I have heard it but never really understood the origin.

Any idea how it originated? It must have some meaning derived from horses?

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:55 PM

73. Lots I can't remember but one has always stuck with me

'he was so ugly as a kid his parents had to tie a porkchop around his neck so the dog would play with him'

just remembered a couple more:

Slower than molasses in January

Slower than my grandma and she's been dead for 20 years

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Response to rurallib (Reply #73)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:50 PM

89. The pork chop one is classic. I love them all.

I have heard another version of the pork chop one...So ugly his parent's won't let him play in the sandbox because the cat keeps trying to cover him up.

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Response to rurallib (Reply #73)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:10 PM

152. Rodney Dangerfield

used the porkchop bit in his routine. So funny!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 08:57 PM

75. I think this is pretty southern,

But we would talk about something being "scattered from hell to breakfast". I have NO IDEA how it came about.

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Response to Laffy Kat (Reply #75)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:02 PM

96. I am from the south too! I have heard versions of that.

"scattered to hell and back"

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:05 PM

76. I'm fixin' to be all over you like a rooster on a June bug

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Response to luvMIdog (Reply #76)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:05 PM

97. Haha!

I am somewhat familiar with both. My aunt had a rooster that roamed in her yard when I was very young. I remember having to wait in the car when we went to her house because the rooster was so mean! It must have met an untimely end. It didn't hang around for very long!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:12 PM

77. Good quotes are as rare as rocking horse shit!

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Response to Doodley (Reply #77)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:59 PM

94. That one is a keeper! I never heard it before and will enjoy using it!

Thanks Doodley!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:16 PM

78. My mom would always say "I am mad about....."(insert something she

loves). It was usually geography. She was such a science nerd.

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Response to applegrove (Reply #78)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:06 PM

99. That is actually very cute.

Your mom sounds like a special person.

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #99)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 11:08 PM

111. She was scientific. A one and only. Her father was born in 1882. Her mom

1898. She was old world. A good friend. Generous. Naive about the world. I have that same scientific brain. I owe her so much for that.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:26 PM

79. Tough titties, said the kitty, when the milk ran dry



although I have heard that still used nowadays.

Or, "more useless than tits on a bull"

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Response to Kimchijeon (Reply #79)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:57 PM

92. I learned the tough titty one a little differently...

"Tough titty said the kitty, but the milks still good!"


Usually I would just her the "Tough titty!" part when I complained about something, usually not getting my way.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:40 PM

84. My dad was a man of very few words, and never used profanity.

If he was really annoyed, he would say, "That really burns my cork."

He grew up in the south side of Chicago. I've never heard anyone else say it.

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Response to 3catwoman3 (Reply #84)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:55 PM

91. LOL

The men in my family were not always as polite as your dad. When they were really annoyed or outright angry it would be something like, "That really burns my ass!" or "That really chaps my ass!"

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:48 PM

88. Mom had a few. Can only think of 2 right now:

One was to correct grammar:
In answer to kid's question "Where's my ___ at?"
— "It's behind the at on Preposition Street"

Next would only be amusing to those w/ Southern accent:
"What's that fer?"
— "Cat fur to make kitten britches."

My family probably has a bunch of these you might think amusing but I'm having a senior moment & above are all I can think of right now.

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Response to Panich52 (Reply #88)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:53 PM

90. Cat fur to make kitten britches! I have heard!

Please post if you happen to remember them. Thank you!

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #90)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 10:21 AM

117. Couple more...

Kid trying to put 2 pieces together, close lid, etc & failing. Mom comes along & SNAP! goes right together. "You weren't holding your mouth right."

"Aw. Come here and I'll help you up"


From Dad: "Slicker than cat shit on a linoleum floor"

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Response to Panich52 (Reply #117)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:12 PM

123. Rofl

Have you ever heard, "you have to re-lick your calf?" It was used in response to having to redo something?

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #123)

Sun Mar 26, 2017, 05:48 PM

143. New one. :)

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 09:59 PM

93. "Raining like a cow pissin on a flat rock"

He's "look up a chickens ass for a chicken salad sandwich" stupid.

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Response to pnwest (Reply #93)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:00 PM

95. LMAO

That is some kind of stupid!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:06 PM

98. Another southern sayin':

This was from a grandparent: "He's not worth the powder it'd take to blow 'em to hell."

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Response to Laffy Kat (Reply #98)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:09 PM

100. Laffy Kat, you just described Donald J. Drumpf to a tee!

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #100)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:47 PM

110. You're right!

And I didn't even realize it at the time. Good catch.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:13 PM

101. "Every day above ground is a good day."

The older I get the more I fall back on this one.

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Response to Adsos Letter (Reply #101)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:17 PM

103. We had a retired Baptist minister that lived across the street when I was a teen.

I would bake cookies and take to him and his wife regularly. They were such a sweet old couple. Every time I asked him how he was doing, he would reply, "Well I checked the obituaries this morning and didn't see my name, so it's a good day!"

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:15 PM

102. They put whitey on the moon,

and a rat bit my sister Nell...

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:19 PM

104. Drumpf "doesn't know his ass from a hole in the ground."

Drumpf "doesn't know shit from shinola." I have no clue what shinola means.

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #104)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:37 PM

109. Shinola was a brand of shoe polish way back when



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Response to Trailrider1951 (Reply #109)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:15 PM

124. Thanks!

That makes perfect sense!

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Response to Trailrider1951 (Reply #109)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:38 PM

161. Remember the song "What a Wonderful World"

that had the line, "Don't know camembert from gorgonzola, don't know shit from Shinola"?

Wolf

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Response to Trailrider1951 (Reply #109)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:14 PM

189. It's now a wristwatch brand...

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:22 PM

105. When you reach the end of your rope

tie a knot and hang on

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Fri Mar 24, 2017, 10:33 PM

108. Being born here doesn't make you a southerner;

If a cat has kittens in the oven, that don't make 'em biscuits.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 01:13 AM

112. The best cures for depression

are a warm bath and helping others.

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Response to Jamaal510 (Reply #112)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 08:13 AM

115. My mom: " I only trust him as far as I can throw him" and "Handsome is as Handsome does"

She was a politically astute liberal and if she was still alive she would have said the first about lyin' Trump and the second about crooked Paul Manafort . She always warned women in our family about untrustworthy men and handsome "devils in disguise"

Edited to say posted by mistake, not as reply about cure for Depression

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Response to Jamaal510 (Reply #112)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 11:19 PM

170. I like that !

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 01:23 AM

113. learning is a series of mistakes

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Response to Hamlette (Reply #113)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:24 PM

126. So true!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 07:54 AM

114. He was shakin' ...

... like a dog shittin' a peach pit.

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Response to sl8 (Reply #114)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:27 PM

128. That is such a good one, it paints a vivid picture!

I can actually see a poor old coonhound trying to poop but nothing happening.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 08:29 AM

116. An old one I still use

"Shit or get off the pot!"

Wolf

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Response to Wolf Frankula (Reply #116)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:25 PM

127. Haha!

That one still goes around in my family too! Good one!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 10:39 AM

118. You'll shit

if you eat regular.

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Response to pressbox69 (Reply #118)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:23 PM

125. Omg! I remember that but haven't heard since my gramps passed.

Also, if a frog had wings he would bust his ass every time he jumped.

Used when someone replied to you with an answer containing if. "I will cook dinner IF I have time."

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 10:49 AM

119. Even a blind hog gets an acorn now and then

A favorite from my dad, "My tired aches"

Colder than piss on a plate/a well digger's ass

Good Lord willin' and the creek don't rise (of course it has to be pronounced crick)

It's all fun and games until somebody pokes an eye out

Better than a poke in the eye

In a hurry to go home and lay on the bed and read comic books

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Response to Cairycat (Reply #119)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:38 PM

129. Great ones!

Colder than piss on a plate is new to me. I love that one.

Thanks.

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #129)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:00 PM

185. A variant: Trump thinks he's hot shit on a silver platter...

But he's cold piss on a paper plate.


Nice imagery!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 11:25 AM

120. Less civilized people "lived out in the tules."

For my family the old California definition fit. They used "out in the tules" as a derogatory term. The white dairy farmers and ranchers who got to California first and claimed the best land had a much higher social status than more recent immigrants to California, many who were draining the tule marshes of California's Central Valley. My grandma and her sister were born in San Francisco which clearly made them a higher class of people than the various misfits, Portuguese, and later Okie immigrants to the Central Valley.

It's ironic because my grandma and her sister were both misfits in their own way, leaving the cows behind as teens to run wild in Hollywood. They were both classic Hollywood Liberals and they had a rainbow of friends -- homosexual, black, white, Jewish, "Spanish" (their word for Mexican-American), "Oriental," Italian -- but their internalized white privilege and racism went entirely unexamined and they could say the most cringe-worthy things.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 11:38 AM

121. He's an asshole from the word 'go'.

Referring to people like Trump.

Might be a New England thing.

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Response to mikeargo (Reply #121)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:43 PM

132. I have heard it and grew up down south.

However I spent 2 summers in NY recently so that is probably where I heard it. Regional differences and accents are another fascination of mine. We are all the same but truly different at the same time. That's what makes us great imho.

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Response to mikeargo (Reply #121)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 07:07 PM

147. "He didn't know whether to shit or go blind so

he just closed one eye and farted."

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:39 PM

130. Some are personal, some I just like.

Last edited Sat Mar 25, 2017, 03:14 PM - Edit history (1)

My mom had us say, "It's snowing in the South." to indicate if her slip was showing when she wore a dress.

"Don't be a nervous Pervis."

"Don't let the door hit ya, where the good Lord split ya."

"Crawl up a ladder and kiss my ass."

"I'll kick you ass so far up between your shoulder blades, you'll have to roll down your socks to take a shit (or, unbutton your collar to take a piss)."

"I'll smack you into next week looking both ways for Tuesday."

"You are a mental case." (from Bugs Bunny)

My personal favorite, "Fuck you (while flipping the finger), the horse you rode in on (middle finger still extended, palm up), and the little dog that followed (pinkie finger extended)." Sometimes I change it to, fuck you with the horse you rode in on while I make the little dog that followed watch!"

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Response to Behind the Aegis (Reply #130)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:48 PM

133. Love them all!


...and the little dog that followed! Lmao, never heard that addition!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:43 PM

131. My Dad used to tell my brother

I can take you out and make another one who looks just like ya! Obviously they had issues .

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Reply #131)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 12:51 PM

134. Oh that's a good one! I heard a less colorful version...

"I brought you into this world and I can take you out!" Lol, your version is much better, thanks for sharing.

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Response to redstatebluegirl (Reply #131)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 05:00 AM

212. Geez, we & our grandparents weren't nearly the snowflakes of today.

Good senses of humor and no Social Services to report folksy sayings to

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 01:03 PM

135. When someone gets you mad, tell them to...

Go piss up a rope!

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Response to mikeargo (Reply #135)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 01:20 PM

136. Good one sir.

Lol, that reminded me of a couple more.

Never piss into the wind.
Don't eat the yellow snow.
I wouldn't piss on you even if you were on fire!

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Response to mikeargo (Reply #135)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 10:23 PM

164. Or to go pound sand


No clue

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 02:05 PM

138. Mean as a junkyard dog. More...

Crazy as a loon.

"Red or yellow, black or white, they are precious in his sight."
My grandmother used to singsong that tune if we saw people who looked different from us.

So tight, she sqeeks.

Don't try to swallow the whole orange at once. Break it apart, and take it a piece at a time.

A stich in time, saves nine.

Penny wise and pound foolish.

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Response to Alice11111 (Reply #138)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 02:27 AM

204. Red or yellow, black or white...

Is a Sunday School/Bible School song

Jesus loves the little children,
All the children of the world.
Red or yellow, black or white,
they are precious in his sight...
Jesus loves the little children of the world.

The tune is going through my head now. It's an earworm.

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Response to radical noodle (Reply #204)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 04:29 AM

207. Yeah, that too. Sorry.

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Response to Alice11111 (Reply #207)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 06:14 PM

216. My mom and grandmother would be pleased

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Response to radical noodle (Reply #216)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 06:18 PM

217. Oh good, grandmothers are the best.



PS I do hope your earworm went away.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 02:14 PM

140. A new one that I heard somewhere:

Silicone.
It's magical stuff.
Just ask any stripper.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sat Mar 25, 2017, 02:25 PM

141. If one of us kids turned our noses up on some foods, especially if she went to lengths to make it,

 

My Grandmother would say "Eat it, or you will get it in an enema."

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Mar 26, 2017, 10:49 PM

144. Where were you when the brains were handed out?

Last edited Mon Mar 27, 2017, 12:44 PM - Edit history (1)

and

You don't have enough sense to come in out of the rain

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Mar 26, 2017, 11:57 PM

145. Jackson......

Instead of buddy, or dude, or whatever I call everyone Jackson. I can't remember for certain, but I think I picked that up as a kid from an old Daffy Duck cartoon, back before Bugs was around.

In reruns.....

I'm not cool enough to be in my 80's yet, but I'm working on it, one minute at a time........

It's fun to say.....

Hey Jackson what's up?

Jackson. Really?

Look Jackson.....

Jackson check it out! A parking spot!

Multiple applications, and completely replaces "Dude" or whatever

Best of luck Jackson

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 12:12 PM

146. You're about as useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle...


You're as useful as tits on a nun.

To someone who's slow on the uptake:
Millions of sperm and you were the fastest?

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 07:18 PM

148. Can we go foreign? At a Bengali wedding, you wear a pith hat

At my wedding, the Bengali dude assigned to stand in as my grandfather pointed at the hat and said "e bari na, ha?" ("It's not heavy, right?"

He scowled and said "Bachare shot, torumoj logo parinot" ("with years, pith becomes iron" -- this is traditionally told to all Bengali grooms)

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 08:40 PM

149. Courtesy of my Grandad

"Too dumb to pound sand into a rat hole." Whose administration does THAT sound like?

"As graceful as a hog on ice." Sounding a bit like every bit of news from the WH since Cheeto took office.

Thanks, Grandpa!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:10 PM

153. Yes, by cracky! "Squealin' like a pig under a gate" is one. I'll think of some more. n/t

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Response to brewens (Reply #153)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 11:11 PM

167. By cracky!

That's something my grandma on my mother's side would always say.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:14 PM

156. Action talks

 

And bullshit walks.

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Response to Metsie Casey (Reply #156)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 04:52 AM

211. I thought it was BS talks, and action walks.

Also, she talks the talk, but she doesn't walk the walk.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:14 PM

157. If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. (NT)

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:17 PM

158. You're sweet enough to pour on a plate and sop up with a biscuit.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:17 PM

159. One of my first camping trips I was told for the first of many times

'don't piss on an electric fence.' Seemed like great advice

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Response to rurallib (Reply #159)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 11:13 PM

168. OMG!!!

Is he dead?

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #168)

Tue Mar 28, 2017, 05:17 PM

172. I don't think so - just a wee(hehe) bit stunned

go to youtube and search for 'pissing on an electric fence.'
There are some stunners in there

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 09:41 PM

162. If Pigs had wings, they'd be pigeons.

Dumb as a sack of hammers.

Couldn't organize a piss-up in a brewery.

Bumfuq, Egypt. Someplace in the middle of nowhere.

AEON. 'Arse End of Nowhere'. Not far from the previous. I heard AEON in Southern Africa years ago.

Wolf

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 10:48 PM

165. Land sakes!

My kindergarten teacher said that and I thought she said 'lamb shakes.'

All cats are gray in the dark, referring to men having affairs (my Dad)

So mad I thought he'd shit a meat axe. (My mom)

Nutty as a fruitcake (Gram(

Got her tit caught in a wringer (got in a mess) (Dad)

She made her bed and now she can lay in it (Mom)

Ask a silly question and you'll get a silly answer (kids)

Beggars can't be choosers (Mom)

If the shoe fits, wear it (my Mom)

It takes two to tango (extramarital affairs) (Mom)








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Response to Marthe48 (Reply #165)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 11:16 PM

169. Great List!

We might be related!

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Mar 27, 2017, 11:53 PM

171. Slicker than snot on a glass doorknob.

Fish or cut bait.

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Response to Jane Austin (Reply #171)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:31 PM

192. Variant: Slicker'n owl shit on suede shoes.

I have no idea about it's origin, but it flows nicely (so to speak).

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Tue Mar 28, 2017, 05:50 PM

173. From me Irish mother after I did a not so good job of a chore...

..."You're as good as half a dozen dead ones."


Don't remember the source but "Your breath is so bad you could knock a buzzard off an outhouse."

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:05 PM

174. Watching "Mountain Monsters" & heard another one fm WV:

"He's not much bigger than a popcorn fart"

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Response to Panich52 (Reply #174)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 06:21 PM

178. Lmao!

I love that! I remembered a few more last week. When I get a day off I want to update the OP with all the additions. Thanks Panich52!

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Response to LOL Lib (Reply #178)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 12:28 AM

200. Do my best to add to such lists :). Will try to chk back

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:31 PM

191. Were you standing behind the door when God was handing out the brains?

My momma asked me that a time or two.

During a thunderstorm: "The devil's beating his wife."

My husband's dad said this to the kids: "Eat every bean and pea on your plate." I had to think about it for a minute.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:39 PM

193. Well, heres a few I recall.

Fuck with the bull you get the horns.
Anger is one letter short of danger.
Red sky at night, sailor's delight; red sky in the morning, sailors take warning.
All's well that ends well
If ignorance is bliss, there should be more happy people.

And just for kicks, here’s one my old granddad used to say:

When I was young and had no sense
I tried to climb an electric fence
It curled my hair and tickled my balls
And made me shit in my overalls

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 07:58 PM

194. "I don't care if it harelips the governor!"

My dad, who hailed from West Texas, used to say: "I'm gonna (insert task here) if it harelips the governor." Or, "Damn it, we're going out to dinner tonight and I don't care if it harelips the governor."

Notable use of the phrase by Slim Pickens as Major Kong in "Dr. Strangelove":
"Stay on the bomb run, boys! I'm gonna get them doors open if it harelips everybody on Bear Creek."

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 08:18 PM

195. I'm so mad I could spit tacks!

They look like Mutt and Jeff.

And when my day got mad "Criminently!"

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 09:16 PM

197. so many memories...

Mom's favorite curse: "shit and molasses!"

"Each to his own said the old woman as she kissed the calf".

"Shit in one hand and wish in the other. See which one gets full first". (in polite company "spit"

When pig killing you use "everything but the squeal".

"Don't leave food on your plate. Remember the starving Armenians."

"Knock wood"...while doing so.

Oh..."hitch in your getalong" means something went wrong, doesn't it?

How about "I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole?

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Response to oldcynic (Reply #197)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 04:47 AM

210. "Hitch in your getalong," means someone is limping or walking funny,

like with a cramp in the leg. They used to say it about football players, who got up from a pile on, and seemed to be walking funny.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 09:53 PM

198. My grandpa used to say

"Shoot fire, save matches"


From what I understand it's an old southern saying and some times people added "shit" instead of "shoot" . The saying is used when you are frustrated.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Sun Apr 9, 2017, 11:47 PM

199. "I didn't how him from Adam's housecat" (my mom)......

"I want cash on the barrelhead" (my dad, both from the south)

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 12:57 AM

201. My grandmother had a New Glasgow, Nova Scotia accent. She used

to pronounce 'food' as 'fod' when I was a small child. Later I had a job at a lunch counter in NS and heard one of the women pronounce it the same way. I was thrilled to hear it again. Asked her where she was from. NG too.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 01:14 AM

202. one my mom liked

the hurrier I go, the behinder I get and another one was Jesus , Mary and Emma

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 01:47 AM

203. Here Are a Couple

She wouldn't say "shit" if her mouth was full of it.



Heard in a Weavers' song:

My get-up-and-go has got up and went.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 03:58 AM

206. Has anyone said


"Mark my words," yet?

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 04:37 AM

208. He's pissing on my leg and telling me it's raining.

"God willing and the creek don't rise," in response to following through with plans.

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 04:39 AM

209. "His/my give a shitter is broken."

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Response to LOL Lib (Original post)

Mon Apr 10, 2017, 06:57 PM

218. My wife has a girlfriend who knows the ultimate single woman's lament

"Men over 30 are like public toilets: they are either taken or they are full of shit."

I disagree, but as a man who has been "taken" since I was 22, I can't credibly contribute to the argument one way or the other.

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