35 years ago today: THE best before and after (and WAY after) pics

[DFW]

The morning of April 10, 1982:
Contemplating the next few minutes........
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That evening, after saying our vows:
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A few months later, a new addition is on the way:
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Three years later:
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And time passed.....
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and passed.....
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and passed........
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and passed..........
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and passed..........
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and passed...........
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and passed...........
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To where we are today:
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Our babies are babies no longer:
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We met 8 years before we even thought of getting married. Indeed, we were invited to tag along to my brother's wedding and make it a double wedding. If that hadn't happened, we STILL might not have gotten around to it. Here we were, a year after meeting. We were 23:
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Who the hell thinks, at age 23, what you'll be doing at age 65?

[elleng]

1. MANY Congrats, from ALL of us!

[DFW]

15. Thanks, Ellen! n/t

[saidsimplesimon]

2. Thank you DFW

The photographs tell a story of a wonderful life with many more to come. Congratulations on the Anniversary!

[DFW]

16. I don't know how many more we'll get

But every one is one we celebrate, for sure!

[Shrike47]

3. Beautiful

[progressoid]

4. Looks like you hit the jackpot.

[DFW]

6. I did indeed

Last edited Mon Apr 10, 2017, 03:07 PM - Edit history (1)

We've had to deal with issues along the way. The first few years involved commuting between Philadelphia and Münster/Westfalen. I have developed heart issues which nearly killed me in 2004. She has had cancer twice, once in 2001, and one encounter last fall with a form of cancer known in the clinic that operated on her as "the murderer." It was discovered by pure accident, and she was that one case in 1000 that was discovered and operated on before it could spread anywhere.

So it hasn't been a free ride. But even with all that, I don't think I could have done it all with anyone else, and I haven't yet met anyone else with whom I would have wanted to try. This summer makes 43 years since we met in what was then West Berlin. She sent me a photo of a card saying (I'm translating here, as it was in German): "I want to grow old with you (but I'm not in any hurry)." The feeling is, needless to say, mutual.

[niyad]

5. and may there be many, many more. thank you so much for sharing your lives with us, DFW.

this old cynic loves seeing the happy and joyful and love in the world.

[DFW]

7. There is much to be cynical about

And yet much to hope for. Take it from one who got his wish.

[hwmnbn]

8. What a great story in pictures...

thank you for sharing these photos.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

9. My dear DFW!

I don't stroll through the Lounge as much as I used to.......but I'm sure glad I did, today!

Even though I've seen most of these photos before, I love seeing them again. What a remarkable photo essay they make.

Congratulations on your Anniversary!

Here's to many, many more!

[DFW]

11. Peggy, you know more of the story than most

And you are the ONLY one on this board who has met her in person, so you know better than most how lucky I have been.

[bronxiteforever]

10. Wonderful and touching-I wish you the best! N/t

[DFW]

14. Thanks Bronxite!

"What a long, strange trip it's been...."

[Hekate]

12. I am so happy for you both, DFW. Thanks for sharing.

[DFW]

13. Thanks, Hekate!

I know you have been following our "story" over the years. Nice to have you "tag along!"

[Mr. Ected]

17. So nice to put a face to a name

Nice photos; where in the world does time go?

And how in the WORLD did you learn all those languages? I sure wish I had engaged myself in that respect when I was young. I would be applying as your protege if that was the case!

Wunderschoen!

[DFW]

20. Time slips through your fingers like water in the ocean

When my dad returned from his first trip to Russia in 1959, he brought back some post cards. I couldn't read them. Neither could he. I was 7, and vowed that someday, I'd be able to read post cards like that.

I first had French in the 4th grade. I never got to use it, though, until much later. I started Spanish in 7th grade, and found out in no time flat why it was important. When I was offered the chance to move to Spain for 11th grade, I jumped at it, and was blown away by the fact that I was living in a part of Spain where they didn't speak "Spanish" unless forced to. The Fascist government still suppressed Catalan wherever they could, so of course, I learned it.

While in Spain, I came into contact with Germans and Scandinavians, and felt like an idiot for not understanding them while they all understood me. So, when I got to college, I immersed myself with Swedish, started with German the next year, and continued with the Russian I had started in high school. My ancestors had come to America in the mid 1800s, so whatever vestige of knowledge of Russian I might have had a chance at learning from family was long gone. Italian, once I knew Spanish, Catalan and French, was a snap, and Dutch, once I knew Swedish and German was easy, too. When we opened an office in Holland in 1990, I asked our guy there to speak to me slowly in Dutch until I got better at understanding it and could answer back. Russian remained my weakest, as I never got to practice it much until after the fall of the Soviet Union. Even then, the Russians all look at me like I was Rip Van Winkle, since my spoken Russian, while grammatically correct, has no Soviet era slang at all, since I never spent any time there to speak of. My only contact was with literature and the classroom. My spoken Russian sounds to modern Russians like Victorian English sounds to us--understandable, but strange sounding.

I try to keep all my languages as current as I can. Living in Germany, hardly a week goes by without my using all of them at one point or another.

With languages, it "use it or lose it," so I make it a point to "use it" where I can.

[brer cat]

18. Looks like it has been a great ride!

I hope your journey continues for many, many years to come.

Thanks for sharing.

[DFW]

21. We only have a one way ticket

We're hoping it doesn't end too soon.

[gay texan]

19. Girl!

Look at that hair in the first picture! Stunning!!!!


Congrats!

[DFW]

22. She took my breath away when I first saw her

I figured a nerdy guy like me had NO chance with a girl like that, but then I figured that if I kept up that attitude, I never WOULD have a chance with a girl like that. So I put my fear of rejection and my inhibitions in my hip pocket for once, and never looked back.

[shenmue]

23. Mazel tov

[DFW]

33. Toda raba!

But don't get started--that's all the Hebrew I know (ex -Mossad pal insisted I learn a word or two).

[democrank]

24. Beautiful, just beautiful.

I wish you and your family all the best.

[DFW]

34. Thanks! It's an effort.

But it's an effort that has been rewarded.

[WinkyDink]

25. Congratulations! Your one photo looks like you live in 7th Heaven---and I think you do! (But the

beach photo looks like your wife is on the set of "Jaws," heh!)

[DFW]

35. Well, now that you mention it........

That pic was taken at Long Nook Beach on Cape Cod national seashore.

The year before we got married, we were playing Pirates of the Caribbean. She doesn't make me turbans any more, though:
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[LaydeeBug]

26. This is a beautiful story. What an amazing OP. Thank you for sharing. nt

[DFW]

36. We are probably more than halfway through

After all, we've been together for 43 years now. But we'll take all the time left that the fates have to offer.

[greatauntoftriplets]

27. Have a very happy anniversary!

[DFW]

37. Thanks! This one we have to celebrate apart.

I have to be in Dallas for work, and she has to be in Germany to be with her mom (who will be 90 this year) at Easter. But we celebrated on the phone with each other and made a big rain check!

[yankeepants]

28. This brought tears to me.

[DFW]

38. Just one story out of many.

But we wanted to share this day with our friends, and that includes DU.

[Solly Mack]

29. :)

Congrats to you all!

Hope your wife is doing well! (You, too, of course)

[DFW]

41. Yes, amazingly so

That one case out of 1000. It had to be someone, and we're REALLY glad she was it.

[Solly Mack]

43. Me, too! I am so happy for you both.

I was lucky. Well, I was fortunate in the quality of health care available to me.

to you all!

[50 Shades Of Blue]

30. Congratulations! Beautiful pictures!

[DFW]

42. They didn't seem like anything special at the time

But as a time string, they do tell a story.

[Phentex]

31. Happy Anniversary!

To one of my favorite DU'ers and his lovely wife. Congrats to you both!

[DFW]

39. Thanks!

The actual celebration had to postponed until I get back over there next Monday, but we plan to make up for lost time.

[gratuitous]

32. Thanks for letting me know you went through with it

Does that mean I can quit idling out in front of the venue with the getaway car?

[DFW]

40. Rats.

Did I forget to tell you that we were being picked up in another car?
If so, I need to know how you get that kind of gas mileage!

[Fantastic Anarchist]

44. Great pictures!

Where in Dallas is the current picture?

[DFW]

45. A little to the northeast

Namely, Truro, Massachusetts.

In case you remember "Men In Black," it is NOT where the movie said it was. The movie placed Truro right about where Sturbridge is. Truro is actually near the far tip of Cape Cod, just south of Provincetown.

The pics were taken at, in order of appearance:
Arlington, Virginia
Arlington, Virginia
Oldenburg, Germany
Ratingen, Germany
Ratingen, Germany
Ratingen, Germany
Washington, DC
Beverly Hills, California
Charleston, South Carolina
Truro, Massachusetts
Truro, Massachusetts
Truro, Massachusetts
Charleston, South Carolina
Hanover, New Hampshire

Me in the turban and she in the black bikini: St. Croix, USVI

[Fantastic Anarchist]

48. Ah, my mistake ...

I saw DFW, and my mind saw the view in the pic being somewhere in midtown, perhaps around the McKinney area.

You say you work in Dallas; do you work in Dallas proper, or in the suburbs? If I'm being nosey, or if you feel uncomfortable answering, please accept my apologies.

[DFW]

49. No problem. My head office is in Dallas (downtown). Oak Lawn/Maple area.

But I am station chief for Europe. These days, I live mostly in the Düsseldorf area of Germany, which my wife, being one of the friendlier natives, appreciates. But even that is misleading, as I am in a different country practically very day. I make it back to Dallas usually three times a year, of which today and tomorrow is one of those. Wednesday, I'm off to Washington, DC to visit my brother in the Langley, VA area, and then Sunday back off to Düsseldorf.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

50. That's an awesome life you live, sir.

Can I come work for you?

[DFW]

55. Do you have an EU work permit and speak German, French, Spanish, Italian, Russian and Dutch?

If so, let me know, and I'll fill you in on the less trivial requirements of the job.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

67. You know, most of my family are from France, Switzerland, and Italy.

All speak French, most Italian, and a few German, Hebrew and Arabic speakers.

None of that was passed down to me, sadly.

But I mostly work with numbers as a data analyst.

[DFW]

74. I can't help you there

They do that stuff back in Dallas already. I do the field work. Sometimes nice, as in Zürich on a clear spring day when you can see the Alps from the far end of the Bahnhofstrasse. More often in Brussels on a grey, cold dingy day. But usually once a month in Barcelona, where I used to live once upon a time. That makes up for a LOT of dingy grey days in Sprout City.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

83. Now, you're just making me jealous.

But thanks for the interview.

I shouldn't complain. I've been invited to Europe, flight and all expenses paid so many times, and I never accept their offer. My cousin opened up a resort in Switzerland about five years ago, and I haven't gone. I should have my head examined.

[DFW]

84. You were invited to Switzerland, expenses paid, and you PASSED?

Don't bother getting your head examined. Go straight to treatment, and hope it's not too late.

[Fantastic Anarchist]

87. I never said I was very smart.

[enid602]

46. celebs?

Is it just my tiny screen and tired eyes, or is that Bill Clinton and Al Gore in the photo where everyone is dressed up.

[DFW]

47. Your eyes are not as tired as you think they are

That was indeed Bill Clinton and Al Gore. Gridiron Club dinner on March 25th, 1995 in Washington. Main topic of discussion? Re-election, of course!

Look closely, and your eyes, once sufficiently rested, might even recognize a face or two in the next two photos as well.

[PoliticAverse]

51. Congratulations on your 35th anniversary. n/t

[DFW]

62. Thanks for that

It's not something that enters your head at age 23, but the longest journey, like they say......

[kimbutgar]

52. Great pics

Looks like you met your soul mate and have two beautiful daughters. You are a very rich woman imho.

The only way to make this complete is a picture of grandchildren!!!!

[DFW]

57. I am most definitely NOT a very rich woman

Nor, for that matter, is my wife, but at least SHE is a woman, and she definitely is my soulmate.

Our daughters will get around to having children if and when they are ready. We made our own decision, they are certainly old enough to make theirs.

[kimbutgar]

65. I meant "rich" in the way that your life together looks wonderful

My parents didn't get a grandchild until they were seventy and said it was nice frosting on the cake.

I meant no disrespect in my comment whatsoever. Sorry if you took it the wrong way.

[DFW]

72. No, you missed my point. I'm not offended in the slightest!

It's just that you referred to me as a rich WOMAN. My wife is a woman. I'm not.

[panader0]

53. A story from The Cellar of Time.

Congrats. I had three wives. I've been with Jeannie for almost twenty years,
longer than my marriages put together.

[DFW]

56. A curious choice of words, there

Look at it this way: you actually met three different women who wanted to marry you. I only met one who wanted to marry me. There was no way I was gonna let her slip through my fingers.

[steve2470]

54. always love your threads, my friend :) nt

[DFW]

58. Ah, it's that time of year again

That, plus 35 is kind of a milestone. I'm starting to show my mileage. She, not so much. At a medical exam recently, one of the assistants told her there was an error in her date of birth. My wife was pretty sure she had filled in the correct date. The assistant said no, there was an error, because for the date my wife had filled in to be correct, she would have to be 64 years old. My wife said, "I AM 64 years old." The assistant couldn't believe it. My wife came home smiling. After all this time, she STILL hasn't figured out how good she looks (I tell her, but she just thinks I'm trying to keep her happy--which of course, I am, but I'm not exaggerating).

[Rhiannon12866]

59. K&R! Congratulations!!!

What wonderful pix! You have a lovely family and of course your amazing wife is a knockout! Looks like things worked out pretty well, and thank you for sharing your happiness with your DU family!

[DFW]

61. Thanks, Rhiannon!

It was not as smooth a ride as the pics indicate, but who wants to dwell upon that? On the whole, as you said, things worked out pretty well, and we know only too well that far from all can say that.

[irisblue]

60. Congratulations, the pictures you share are so lovely.

[DFW]

63. I had the good fortune to meet someone that graces any picture in which she appears

Plus she is nearsighted. By the time she put on her glasses for a closer look at me, it was too late.

[Fla Dem]

64. Wonderful chronicle of a life well lived.

I may be mistaken, but I seem to recall your wife was going through some medical issues. I hope she is doing better.

[DFW]

75. That's putting it mildly, and yes, she is doing better, thanks

Last October, she went in for a routing gynecological exam (she had breast cancer in 2001), and an x-ray showed a few uterine dark spots. Her doctor said it's probably nothing, but with your history, we should do a biopsy just in case. Two out of three spots were nothing, and one was a super-aggressive form of uterine cancer known as "the murderer" because it's almost never detected before it has spread fatally.

She got an unusually quick (for Germany) appointment with a specialist surgeon, and went through a rough 5 hour operation in mid-November. She was in the hospital for over three weeks. They took out uterus, ovaries and half her omentum plus 64 lymph nodes. We waited almost a week for the biopsies, but then they came back ALL negative. The doctor was pleasantly amazed. He said this was that one case in 1000 where "the murderer" was stopped in its tracks before it could spread. This was that one case in 1000 where he did NOT recommend chemo and radiation, said they would do more harm than good.

When we went to see him a month after the operation, he just stared at her and said he couldn't believe she had bounced back that quickly. She booked 3 weeks in a rehab spa in March (in Germany, this is part of normal cancer treatment, and covered by insurance). When she came back, she was practically as before the operation, just a little thinner--something she does NOT need to be. But for now, she feels and looks great, and has dodged a MAJOR bullet--as did I. If I lost her at this point, I would be a useless wreck.

[Fla Dem]

86. So glad for her and your family she is doing so well. May your good fortune continue.

[luvMIdog]

66. I really enjoyed reading this thread and looking at the photos

Congratulations

[secondwind]

68. what a beautiful album of love and happiness! you are blessed

[DFW]

77. We just call it a lucky right-place-right-time meeting.

July 25th, 1974 at a cabaret in West Berlin. She just figured at the time, it was a nice summer fling, but hey, America is SO far away. I, on the other hand, said I am NOT letting go of her no matter what. Germany is not so far away, and anyway I don't care if she lives on the moon.

[lillypaddle]

69. Wow, you and wifey aged beautifully

Lovely pictures, lovely memories. Lives well lived. Congrats to you both, and best wishes for many more years ahead.

[DFW]

80. She has aged very gracefully indeed, especially considering all she has been through

I think I'm probably deteriorating rapidly, but as long as it doesn't cramp my style, I'm not to let it keep me up nights.

[Moostache]

70. Congrats!!

Just hit 21 years with my wife this month...we are at the inflection point where our oldest daughter is now the same age we were when we met...so young, so unaware...goes so fast....hoping many more happy years for you...

[DFW]

82. Thanks! Our girls were nowhere near ready to settle down with one partner at age 22

That's the age we were when we met. The girls are now 32 and 34 (look 22 and 20), and though they now have steady boyfriends, they are not interested in marriage at this point. But they are certainly old enough to be making those decisions without interference from us!

[rickford66]

71. Nice family, but I have one question.

Who are these people? Some of us don't read People Magazine.

[DFW]

73. Ha Ha! I don't either, but a fair enough question.

The only ones who are People Magazine candidates are in the two photos after the Bill Clinton/Al Gore/My family photo.

The next one is of me, my wife, and Spider-Man creator Stan Lee

The one after that is with my two daughters, me and Hillary Clinton.

[rickford66]

89. I recognized the Clintons et al.

Is this like a Face Book thing ?

I'm just having fun. There must have been a reason for the original post. Some well known people I don't recognize ?

[DFW]

90. Not that I know of

I sometimes post on anniversaries to say hi to the board, as I have built up a few friends on DU over the 12 years I've been on here.

[rickford66]

99. Nice to meet you.

I've done work at DFW a few times.

[gopiscrap]

76. Congrats!!!!

[DFW]

78. Thanks!

We take our luck where we find it, right?

[gopiscrap]

79. You're welcome that's an amazingly long time to be married

and shows your commitment to one another!!!

[DFW]

81. She is incredibly easy to commit to

It's hard to explain, but maybe California Peggy can explain better than I can. She just this completely natural grace about her that makes instant friends with everyone she meets.

And don't forget, we were together for 8 years before we got married. At that point, it was more paperwork than a life changer. If my brother hadn't invited us to the wedding, we'd probably still never have gotten around to it.

[procon]

85. What a lovely sojourn down memory lane! Thanks for sharing such a personal glimpse. nt

[DFW]

91. Thanks! No one event really made time stop

But put together, they do seem to make time flow.

[Ilsa]

88. A full, loving, wonderful life! Very awesome! Congratulations! nt

[DFW]

92. Thanks! We're hoping it's not quite done yet

My wife sent me a card saying "Ich möchte mit Dir alt werden (aber ich habe es nicht eilig)." It means, "I want to grow old with you (but I'm in no hurry)."

[davekriss]

93. Thank you for this !!

So nice to see such deep human beauty in these dark days !

Truly.

Thanks.

[DFW]

94. It's mostly all her

Though I am most happy to tag along.

[Demsrule86]

95. what a lovely story...

Congratulations.

[DFW]

96. If I could only get lucky at one thing

Better that than anything else

[Demsrule86]

97. I have been married for years to the most wonderful man ever created...

It can happen...we are still madly in love and have been known to embarrass our kids with a PDA.

[DFW]

98. Good to hear it!

It makes a lot of evil things easier to bear, doesn't it?

[VOX]

100. Like seeing an exhibit of rare and beautiful gemstones...

Each photo is progressively more breathtaking, as the years pass and narrative opens up. You are one lucky fella, DFW, and the humbling beauty of that is you're aware of it.

My luck came later, after a couple of misfires (still friends with both women, we were just not well-suited for the long haul). I finally struck gold and remarried at age 51 to my beautiful soulmate; we can't help but regret not having met sooner (we want more time together!), but are grateful nonetheless. I turn 68 in a few days, having a quiet dinner at our favorite restaurant, and I'll be contemplating my great good fortune in life.

Congratulations, and thanks so much for posting your story. It really brings home how love deepens as time does its non-stop thing. Go safely, my friend.

[DFW]

102. Thanks for that. Notice how upcoming milestones used to seem SO far off?

When we met, a permanent partnership was out of the question, and age 30 seemed like the end of the world. Now our daughters are over 30, even if they look ten years younger.

I have no conception of what it is like to have an ex-spouse, but I have to think that finding "the" right one eventually has to heal a lot of old wounds (if, indeed, they are wounds). Waking up day after day to "that smile" is something that you either luck into or you don't. It can't be bought.

Even after 43 years, time races on ahead of us. There is still so much left we want to do and see, half of it on our virtual doorstep. We haven't even been to Rome or Venice yet, and they are a short 2 hour (Venice is less) flight down the road from us. We could pick any weekend when I'm not working (about half of them), and yet we still can't seem to find the time. Although my wife's parents and their generation are full of people who made it well past 90, my parents and siblings have only one out of six who made it to 80, and my dad's parents never even made it to 70, so we are aware that nothing is permanent, especially with my heart issues and her cancer battles.

So, with my crazy work schedule and our medical issues chasing us down the calendar's one-way street, we try to find time to enjoy the fact that we've had each other all this time, and that we still do.

Not to deliberately contradict one as gifted and as insightful as Joni Mitchell, but we DO know what we've got, and dread the moment when "it's gone." I take it you find yourself in a similar situation, so I can only repeat your advice: go safely!

[spooky3]

101. I hope your wife's recovery is going well.

You're very lucky to have had such a happy life as shown in the photos. Thanks for sharing!

[DFW]

103. She is doing better, thanks!

The 3 week stay at the cancer rehab spa did her a lot of good. This weekend, while I am in Langley and Washington, she is driving the 2 hours up to her mom's place to be with her for Easter (her mom is a practicing Catholic). Her mom will be 90 this September, but is fairly fit except for difficulty with her eyesight. She is mentally all there, and, as my wife is a social worker by profession, it is not in her nature to leave her mom alone on major holidays. She lost her brother to brain cancer almost ten years ago, so she is the last surviving child her mom has.

We'll be back together next Monday, and all the craziness (and the wonderfulness) starts where we left it ten days ago at the Düsseldorf airport. Here in the DC area, I am staying with my brother and his wife, the other half of the double wedding.