Farewell, DU, I'm going away. (alternative fact)

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

Twice, yesterday, I got a phone call informing me that the Internal Revenue Service has a warrant out for my arrest. So, before the agents swoop in to send me up the river, let me say

So long, it's been good to know you, we'll meet again some sunny day, thanks for all the fish, and, as they say in Kenya, Aloha.

[still_one]

1. This is satire right? However, if a Nigerian Prince does need your account numbers

Do not hesitate, but immediately divulge them

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

4. The phone calls were real.

The fact that the IRS doesn't phone people to tell them about warrants, and the foreign accent and strange sentence structure, made me think of a needy Nigerian prince.

Satire, yes. I'm not actually going away. I hope.

[still_one]

5. +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

[FreepFryer]

2. I'm thinking it's one of these...

https://www.irs.gov/uac/irs-urges-public-to-stay-alert-for-scam-phone-calls

[greatauntoftriplets]

3. Please rat on Herr drumpf while you have the IRS' ear!

[still_one]

6. Excellent suggestion!!!!!!!!!!

[kimbutgar]

7. I got three of those calls in one day saying the IRS has a warrant out for me for unpaid taxes

If I was an elderly person with early dementia I would be so frightened. But I know scams when I hear them. The prepaid phone card one is particularly appalling to pay bail scam.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

8. Well, if I was an elderly person, ...

... wait, yes, I AM an elderly person!

I hung up the phone before I heard how they wanted to be paid. Phone cards, iTunes cards, bit coins (whatever they are), or Western Union.

[kimbutgar]

11. My late Mom with dementia used to get these bogus calls and was so frightened

I used to have to talk her down because she was scared they were coming for her. Or she had an arrest warrant. And I'm no spring chicken myself at 61 years old.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

17. Yes, this scamming seems funny, but can be very serious.

A friend of mine had to go to great legal effort to seize control of his father's bank accounts, to prevent his father from sending money to scammers. Thousands were lost, but at least there will be no further losses.

Dementia is just sad and evil.

[csziggy]

14. What really pisses me off is they keep promising the calls are the "final notice"

But then they call back, over and over and over.

I'm tempted to call them back and tell them to just send the cops because I am fed up with them calling me!

On the other hand, since I found my great aunt's whistle that she used as a professor of phys ed, the Microsoft Security people seem to be tired of calling me. I was telling them to listen carefully because I couldn't talk any louder and then I would blow the whistle into the phone. One of the last ones to call was screaming as he hung up the phone. I hope his ear was bleeding.

[eppur_se_muova]

9. Why not use their easy online payment method ? I'll forward an email with the link.

Ooooooops, wait, that was the police department. Never mind.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

10. Haha, I used to use the IRS's easy online payment method.

When I was a 1099-contractor, I had to send in my own taxes, social security, medicare payments quarterly. They have a very easy system, you tell them how much and when, and they pull the amount from your checking account. It worked like a charm, I never got burned.

Your link? I might step away from the keyboard ...

[underpants]

12. Good luck

[stonecutter357]

13. Can I fix your PC be·fore you go? all i need is access to your PC .

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

16. Thanks, but the Windows Department has already fixed it.

They added a little bit of software, I'm sure it's serving a great purpose.

[Squinch]

15. I'm going to the pokey too, apparently. See you there!