Favorite insults from books and movies

[LSFL]

I will forgo the French insults from The Holy Grail and offer this one from Larry Niven's Man Kzin Wars universe:

I urinate on the shrines of your ancestors. ..FROM A HEIGHT! !!!

[True Dough]

1. Some options for those needing reminders...

[unblock]

2. i've liked this one for the structure of it -- using an apology to further an insult

though i can no longer condone insulting sex workers (or, as in this case, ex-sex workers) for being (or having been) in that profession.

having said that, here's the quote, from the life and times of judge roy bean:


Judge Roy Bean: (Bean apologizes to the marshals' wives) I understand you have taken exception to my calling you whores. I'm sorry. I apologize. I ask you to note that I did not call you callous-ass strumpets, fornicatresses, or low-born gutter sluts. But I did say "whores." No escaping that. And for that slip of the tongue, I apologize.

[AJT]

3. Movie-"Arthur" Hobson(John Gielgud) to Linda(Liza Minnelli)

"Thank you for a memorable afternoon, usually one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your stature."

[Orrex]

4. Here's one related to a movie...

As reported by Cracked.com:

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On the night before filming a big scene together, Carrey saw Jones at a restaurant and stopped by his table to say hi. Jones' face turned ashen gray. He got up, hugged the comedian tight, and said, while shaking: "I hate you. I really don't like you." When Carrey asked him why, Jones replied with "I cannot sanction your buffoonery,"
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"Cannot sanction your buffoonery." How magnificent is that?


As Cracked notes: "because Tommy Lee Jones is so old that he was taught his insults by Mark Twain."

[taterguy]

5. You two-bit, back-stabbing, piece of egg plant, shit.