Post your BAD advice here.

[ohiosmith]

[baldguy]

1. Any home renovation should begin with knocking down the main support walls.

Be sure to turn off the power and water after you do so.

[taterguy]

2. What's the worst that could happen?

[HopeHoops]

3. The best way to warm your nuts is to place them directly on a stove burner at the highest flame.

[Kaleva]

4. Go ahead and post that sex tape of yours on the internet. Nobody you know will see it!

[Kaleva]

5. Do not dim your headlights until the other guy dims his first.

[bluedigger]

25. Are Posts 4 and 5 related somehow?

[tabbycat31]

6. compromise your morals and sleep with someone without a commitment

Then fall in love with him while he is a complete douchebag to you and leaves you stranded as a work assignment takes you halfway across the country.

[Kaleva]

7. Sorry if that actually happened to you.

[tabbycat31]

59. it actually did happen to me

[siligut]

8. Sign up for every and all free offers using said douchebag's identifying data

What? this is a thread for posting bad advice.

[crunch60]

37. It's OK marry someone you have only known for three weeks, especially when

in a foreign country and there is a language barrier. Love will win out, and beside that, it's exciting.

[geardaddy]

107. Oh, man, I hear you on that.

[bluedigger]

26. Oh, sure, you got a job...

[WillParkinson]

9. Run with scissors...

It's fun on so many levels.

[AllenVanAllen]

10. Always, I repeat always....

lift with your back. And make sure to twist while you do it.

[Major Nikon]

11. Pissing on an electric fence is really cool

[benld74]

12. OOOooooooo sparklies!!!!!

[MichaelMcGuire]

30. Pissing against the wind is fun.

[LiberalFighter]

32. Must had been real close.

[LiberalEsto]

13. Always let your cat(s) roam loose in the car

Especially when driving on the DC Beltway.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

98. Hate to be a buzzkill, but that's how David Crosby's girlfriend Christine Hinton died

David Crosby’s girlfriend, Christine Hinton was killed in a car crash, when her cat wedged itself between the floorboard and her brake pedal. Her death deeply affected Crosby and those closest to he him claim he’s never been the same since. For many years after the accident, Crosby would dedicate “Guinnevere” to her in concert.

http://musicalstewdaily.wordpress.com/2009/09/30/40-years-ago-today-9/

[Lil Missy]

14. Smoking a Marlboro before sex will prevent pregnancy.

[LiberalFighter]

33. That must be Jan Brewer's method of birth control.

[crunch60]

38. And also, don't forget to put the aspirin between your knees. Good

proactive practice.

[Lil Missy]

41. Here, smell this:

[OriginalGeek]

88. lol, I have a half brother becasue my dad said

the chlorine in the pool would prevent pregnancy.

But he's cool so it's a'ight.

[Initech]

15. Dimming your headlights makes your car turn invisible.

[sarge43]

16. Try to please everyone

Vote Republican

Don't bother reading the instructions included with any electrical appliance

Be completely honest when anyone asks you how s/he looks

Always accept a triple dog dare, especially after you've had a few beers.

[BarbaRosa]

17. Consider Fox as your source of news.

[Meiko]

18. When pulled over by the police

scream"I'm not going with you and you can't make me"! Then flip them off..

[Joe Shlabotnik]

21. or make the bastard chase you

"Few people understand the psychology of dealing with a highway traffic cop. A normal speeder will panic and immediately pull over to the side. This is wrong. It arouses contempt in the cop heart. Make the bastard chase you. He will follow. But he won't know what to make of your blinker signal that says you are about to turn right. This is to let him know you're pulling off for a proper place to talk. It will take him a moment to realize that he's about to make a 180 degree turn at speed, but you will be ready for it. Brace for the g's, and fast heel-toe work." -HST

Sounds legit, I always trust Hunter's judgment.

[BlueIris]

46. "That's right, pepper spray the man who is expressing his right

to free speech under the first amendement!!"

[LaurenG]

19. Always run bare electrical wiring through the shower

[Kaleva]

20. If you think it might be a fart; you know it's just going to be a fart.

[LeftishBrit]

22. Vote Conservative! (how's that for bad advice?)

[steve2470]

23. Get married at age 16 ! nt

[steve2470]

24. Do everything and say everything your little heart desires at all times ! nt

[bluedigger]

27. Don't look before you leap.

[Bertha Venation]

28. OK

When you try to break up with your psycho lover and she fucking freaks, tearing the window shades down and kicking out the screen to jump out of the window and go running off in the rain -- go after her.

Here's some worse advice: break up with your psycho lover.

[Kaleva]

29. For good luck, kick a Wal-mart greeter man in the nuts.

[Swede]

31. Get drunk and post all night on DU.

[OrwellwasRight]

57. I can think of a lot worse advice . . .

[kayakjohnny]

34. Post in meta, telling them how fucked up they all are.

[HeiressofBickworth]

35. Not only BAD but the WORST

My grandmother to my mother on her wedding day: the way to avoid pregnancy is just hold back and don't enjoy the sex.

BTW grandmother had seven children.

[Generic Brad]

36. It's OK to post all your embarrassing photos on your private Facebook page

Your friends are probably not technically savvy enough to make a screen print or copy and paste that photo elsewhere. You can trust all your Facebook friends to guard your privacy.

[Broken_Hero]

39. Buy a Ford Windstar, they are fantastic mini vans....nt

[TrogL]

68. Oh God, don't get me started

[Broken_Hero]

72. No worries....

remember, this is the "give bad advice thread"

Long story short, my Windstar was a 12k nightmare.

[benld74]

81. Our 98 Windstar gave us 120k GREAT miles, sold it for 2k, and its still runniing fine

[TrogL]

104. Was that when the head gasket blew or the automatic transmission stripped 3rd gear?

Both were guaranteed every 14000 km

[beac]

40. Save a ton of money and

cut your own hair.



Seriously... stylist who has to fix it will take pity on you and give you a sympathy discount.





Must enjoy having REALLY short hair for months to reap the full benefit of this advice.

[2ndAmForComputers]

42. In November, vote Mitt.

I win.

[Electric Monk]

43. You can use old motor oil to fertilize your lawn

[pacalo]

44. There's no problem that's too trivial for Help & Meta -- go ahead & ask!

[LeftishBrit]

61. But surely everyone follows that advice already...

[BlueIris]

45. Insult the boss's favorite.

Especially if she is his special pet. Career booster every time.

[zanana1]

47. Try to reason with someone involved in a domestic dispute.

Don't call the cops; just go over there and let them know they're being unreasonable.

[BlueIris]

48. Head over to Free Republic and say you love Mormons.

Especially the presumptive GOP nominee.

[annabanana]

49. SURE you can fit in that parking space! . . .. . n/t

[tabbycat31]

50. the best way for Fido to travel is on the roof

Just ask Mitt!

[treestar]

53. lol nt

[JonLP24]

51. Save gas by having your kids hitchhike to school

I stole that from a commercial.

[krispos42]

52. It's okay to whiz on the electric fence. n/t

[kwassa]

54. On a night with a full moon, you can drive without headlights on, by moonlight alone.

That was a near-fatal experience.

[NJCher]

55. making big decisions in life

Are the bank tellers nice? Do they smile? Is there coffee and free cookies when you go in?

Well, then, take out your mortgage from them!



Cher

[jberryhill]

56. Just reach in there and see if anything is alive

[Morning Dew]

58. You'd better reply to that email from IRS.ng

They need your info to process the refund.

[LeftishBrit]

60. If a photocopier is jammed, use a wet umbrella tip to un-jam it!

[LeftishBrit]

62. Be sure to accept all those friendly e-mail business offers from Nigeria

[steve2470]

63. Don't save for retirement, that's a buzzkill and besides, work is fun ! nt

[HappyMe]

64. Random gunfire outside? Get out there and check it out!

In a haunted cabin situation? Do NOT turn on any lights. Open that door that appears to have howling and breaking furniture behind it.

[Scuba]

65. Fry bacon naked.

[Major Nikon]

75. Fryin Bacon Nekkid - Roger Alan Wade

[cloudbase]

66. Some that I actually received:

If you're going to be an engineer, buy the best slide rule you can, because you'll be using it all your professional life.

(I still have it.)

[mikeSchmuckabee]

67. Use your penis to get a stuck bagel out of the toaster

or to see if your electric pencil sharpener is plugged in.

[TrogL]

69. Accuse your priest of heresy

Actually, I did that and got away with it.

So they stuck me on an honest-to-God Inquisition (yes, they still have them) and were pissed off when I started asking the traditional questions (and they didn't know the right answers).

[chrisa]

70. A hairdryer doubles as a redneck Jacuzzi in the bathtub

[struggle4progress]

71. When the state trooper pulls you over for speeding, tell him to fugg-off:

most state troopers need more constructive criticism like that

[DiverDave]

73. Quit your job because that hot girl said

she doesnt date co-workers.

Nothing can go wrong there

[SkatmanRoth]

74. Always talk to cops

If you get pulled over for a traffic violation, be sure and tell them up front about every contraband item in your car. They will understand and let you go with just a warning.

[A Simple Game]

76. If you're thirsty, pay no attention to what others say, go ahead and drink the water.

How bad can it be? Water is water, right?

[mysuzuki2]

77. Buy a condo in a bad neighborhood in Milwaukee.

after all, you can always sell it for at least as much as you paid for it.

[SOteric]

78. Every bad situation can be improved

by flying into either a panic or a rage.

[Kaleva]

79. You can save alot of money from paying tolls by flying over the toll booth in your car

[rrneck]

80. Pull my finger. nt

[pipi_k]

82. After being constipated

for three days, drink down a whole quart of prune juice at one time just to loosen things up a little.

Keep the BBQ grill up against the house you are only renting, then throw a whole greasy chicken on the grill and let it catch fire so it melts the vinyl siding of the house you don't own (my niece did that last week).

Cook a whole raw egg in the microwave.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

83. Always use a firm hand when pressing Press Object A into Object B --

Object A

Object B

[auburngrad82]

84. I'd get liquored up before cutting that there tree down

that way the noise of the chain saw won't bother you so much.

[4th law of robotics]

85. No need for condoms, just pull out.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

86. When a guy asks you to marry him don't ask the following questions:

1) Do you love me?
2) Do you want kids?

The answers were no, and i went through a hellish divorce in which he was trying to punish me for everything I ever did, including breathing. I never said an unkind word to this jerk and he spent $50,000 on a divorce lawyer.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

87. Don't vaccinate your kids. nt

[Grantuspeace]

89. To impress a hot chick at the bar just say, "yeah, I cut my own hair".

[quakerboy]

90. No can do

You should always listen to me. I never give bad advice!

[targetpractice]

91. He who laughs last gathers no moss.

[hifiguy]

92. Just jam the fork in the toaster. That'll get the damned

toast out for sure.

[lastlib]

93. Buy Sprint Nextel (NYSE: S) at above $20/share.

Your financial worries will soon be over......!

[ThoughtCriminal]

94. Cross the streams!

I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?

[lovemydog]

95. Buy high

and sell low.

[Amerigo Vespucci]

96. ALWAYS swim IMMEDIATELY after a big meal and you'll burn MANY calories.

After the last bite, just run and CANNONBALL. How could that POSSIBLY be HARMFUL? JUST DO IT!!!

[jp11]

97. Always put salt in your eyes.

[Shankapotomus]

99. Walk into any busy supermarket

and start acting like you work there. Start out with the most menial tasks to discourage anyone from questioning your presence there. If anyone does question you, just say "I'm new". Try to arrive in the morning and work the whole day. If no one uncovers your ruse, do it again the next day.

[TroglodyteScholar]

100. Never say you're sorry.

[AsahinaKimi]

101. Putting chopsticks up your nose and pretending to be a walrus

At a fine Tokyo eating establishment.

[BootinUp]

102. lol, can't laughin too hard.

[Kablooie]

103. Shaving with a serrated steak knife.

[NewJeffCT]

105. Give your bank account number to that Nigerian prince

he's a prince, what could go wrong?

[NewJeffCT]

106. When it is freezing outside

licking a metal pole is a great way to start your day.