Here's an elevator etiquette PSA

[SHRED]

While waiting outside for an elevator, stand back a little, and don't rush the door when it opens.
People may be trying to get out of the elevator.

You're welcome.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

1. When you get into the elevator, face forward toward the door

rather than the back of the elevator, or people will think you're weird. And don't fart.

[Control-Z]

2. But do press every button.

Especially if in a high-rise with a lot of them.

[Warpy]

3. Well, farting is hardly under our control, the choice is between sneaking them out

and giving it the full trump effect and sometimes we can't even clench our cheeks to sneak them out.

I'm just grateful people are no longer whipping out their damned cigarettes when they get on. That was dreadful.

Additional etiquette: if you're getting off at an upper floor, move to the side or back, allowing people getting off at lower floors a path to the doors. If you're getting on at an upper floor, move to the back or side. Allowing other people room to get on is courteous and I've never seen an elevator take more than 20 seconds to unload passengers so it won't delay you that much.

[alarimer]

12. What if the elevator has two doors?

I was in one recently where there were two doors. One side opened on the ground floor, but the other opened on all of the other floors.

So this advice would be useless there. Nobody knew how to stand.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

13. Tip your hat to the operator. It's the polite thing to do. NT

[Golden Raisin]

4. And get off your damn cell phone.

[LisaM]

5. And, if you're really tall....

be sure to block off all the short people so that they can't tell what floor it's on.

[In_The_Wind]

6. Do not release Barking Spiders in the elevator.

[Major Nikon]

9. I stepped on a frog once

I'm pretty sure it was full of shit.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

7. You will need an accomplice for this.

While riding the elevator, you and your accomplice will engage in a conversation more or less as follows, which should sound like a continuation of a discussion started before you got on. It should be carefully timed so that you and your accomplice leave the elevator at the appropriate time.

You (as you enter the elevator): "So now the back yard is just a mess. I'll have to replace all those rosebushes."

Friend: "What a pain!" (elevator door closes, elevator begins to move)

You: "They said they'd have to be there at least all day; meantime the dog and the kids are tracking in all that mud. So irritating."

Friend: "Are they digging up the whole yard?"

You: "Mostly just the area where the pool used to be. That's where..."

Friend: "How long has it been?"

You: "Seventeen years. We thought they gave up back in '02."

Friend: "Do you think they'll find..."

(elevator stops and door opens)

You: "Not unless they check by the pine trees. And there won't be much left anyhow, maybe just her boots..."

(You and friend exit the elevator. The doors close.)

[SHRED]

8. LOL

[eppur_se_muova]

10. Alfred Hitchcock used to do this ...

"So, anyway what could I do ? The police were on their way, and I had no way to hide the body, so ... oh, this is our floor."

[eppur_se_muova]

11. There's more room outside than there is in.

My aunt uses this as an "apology" after farting.