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(22 posts)
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 07:58 AM Aug 2019

Talking to Trumpers: the woman dating a MAGA guy

More from my exchanges with Trumpers and how to get new ideas into GOPers, many of whom have authoritarian personalities and are brainwashed by rightwing media.

This story is about a woman who is dating a Trumper.


A few days ago I was walking past a restaurant window where I could see Fox showing the president spewing his usual lies. (If I had been inside I would tell the owner to turn off Fox, but in this case I didn’t make a special trip in to do that.)

There had been a couple walking down the street in front of me. Guy had stopped to watch the TV, woman keeps walking in front of me and then stops in front of an ice cream store about a block down.

“Ugh”, I say. “Our criminal president, on TV again, just lying without challenge. Typical but unbelievable.”

She says “What? Yeah, I guess. You work in politics somehow?”
Me: “No, I’m just concerned about the state of the country. This is a bad time in America.”

Her: “Well, you know, I agree with you but I try not to get involved in politics.”
Me: “It’s important, though. Republicans want good people to stay silent. That’s why the right tries to shame people for talking about politics. If you think it’s important it’s our job to speak up... that’s why I’m wearing this (Impeach Trump) shirt.”

Her: “Yeah, but I don’t like to talk about politics.
You know, I’m dealing with this right now— my date over there is a Republican and I’m not.”
(What I could have said if I REALLY wanted to get her man angry— conservative men are obsessed with power and who’s taking who’s date, and think liberals are weak and not people who’d ask out ‘their women’: “If I weren’t married I’d love to take you out to dinner.” )
Me, instead: “It’s tough but you look like a nice person who deserves to be treated well. Why date someone who’s a racist — sorry, who knows full well what is going on and wants to support racists?”

Her: “You know, I’m old enough to know what’s good for me.”
Me: “Yeah, I’ve got plenty of male friends and have been in enough relationships myself to know, at my age— anyone who still supports this president in 2019 is not a good person. I think you know that too. And you deserve better than that. You know he’s not going to treat you well.”

I could see on her face that she knew that too. Of course she didn’t like hearing it, but she knew it.

Then I said goodbye and kept walking.


Keys here: this is a woman who clearly knows what’s right and what’s wrong. She’s the kind of person that will most likely be reached by calm discussion, not with anger; but it’s always important to convey values and how much you care about them. What else is important to say in a discussion with a person like this?

- Don’t be silent. Your values matter. Don’t let conservatives tell you to avoid politics. Politics is people’s lives and those are important principles you should own.

- Think carefully about whether you want to be in a relationship with someone with bad values. (That’s not always the right thing to say at every time, but it was clear here that she was upset at him, so a little nudge from a stranger might be useful.)

- This is one part of a series describing my often (but not always) successful efforts to discuss politics with Trumpers. Hope my experiences help others! Watch for more.

Talking to Trumpers: the woman dating a MAGA guy (Original Post) talkingwithtrumpers Aug 2019 OP
I understand that you are anti trump but if this is a true story it upsets me. I think it is a bit wasupaloopa Aug 2019 #1
This was a conversation between two people. Tikki Aug 2019 #2
If she felt uncomfortable the poster was making her uncomfortable and should have recognized it and wasupaloopa Aug 2019 #4
the woman TRIED to disengage -- several times stopdiggin Aug 2019 #5
Fully agree Chakaconcarne Aug 2019 #3
you used uncivil language to admonish uncivility. ok. Kurt V. Aug 2019 #6
no wasupaloopa Aug 2019 #10
Agree with you... N_E_1 for Tennis Aug 2019 #7
"No politics" is a rightwing talking point. Talk about politics. sharedvalues Aug 2019 #17
Thank you. oldsoftie Aug 2019 #8
Calling for "Civility" to hide hate is a rightwing talking point sharedvalues Aug 2019 #16
Excellent! K&R Duppers Aug 2019 #9
Serious wisdom from Andy Borowitz. calimary Aug 2019 #13
Being a Rethugian equals a religion for many. Duppers Aug 2019 #11
Good work. And good on you for sharing this encounter. calimary Aug 2019 #12
Unfortunately todays typical Republican is the victim of demagoguery. olegramps Aug 2019 #14
Quote from Warren addresses this sharedvalues Aug 2019 #18
I've dated 2 women since my divorce ... aggiesal Aug 2019 #15


(4,516 posts)
1. I understand that you are anti trump but if this is a true story it upsets me. I think it is a bit
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 08:56 AM
Aug 2019

arrogant to try and describe to someone what their friend is based on your assumptions. I don't care how bad trumpsters are, you shouldn't go around stepping into somebody else's life with your prejudices.

You really don't know shit about the man. I kinda don't think the story is true. If it is I don't think much of you.

See we still have something called civility and no matter how justified you feel, you were uncivil, again if the story is true which I doubt.


(14,481 posts)
2. This was a conversation between two people.
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 09:17 AM
Aug 2019

If she felt uncomfortable, she could have excused herself at anytime.

People today are still free to talk to each other.




(4,516 posts)
4. If she felt uncomfortable the poster was making her uncomfortable and should have recognized it and
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 09:37 AM
Aug 2019

acted accordingly.


(10,197 posts)
5. the woman TRIED to disengage -- several times
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 09:44 AM
Aug 2019

obviously I wasn't there, but my take is her "assailant" was arrogant, socially clueless and more than a little entitled.


(2,198 posts)
3. Fully agree
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 09:27 AM
Aug 2019

This sinks pretty damn low if it's true... It's cheap, underhanded and invasive of very personal space.

As much as I like to lump all Trump supporters together as racist, reviled, horrible people...

Every now and then I'm reminded there are some that are genuinely good people, just not very well informed and probably succumb to the peer pressure of the larger group - which I reckon could be pretty intense.

N_E_1 for Tennis

(8,854 posts)
7. Agree with you...
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 10:03 AM
Aug 2019

She tried to stop him and he just kept on talking... no means no...no politics means no politics...
Rude, crass individual...kinda like verbal rape.


(6,916 posts)
17. "No politics" is a rightwing talking point. Talk about politics.
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 07:20 PM
Aug 2019

The GOP uses their media to say “no politics” while they stuff the courts with judges and poison our environment.

Screw. That.

Talk about politics. ESPECIALLY if someone’s a Trumper and uncomfortable. That’s the POINT. Trumpers should be uncomfortable. Those kids separated from their parents are d*mn uncomfortable and the least we can do is to talk about it. Talking politics is doing your part.


(6,916 posts)
16. Calling for "Civility" to hide hate is a rightwing talking point
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 07:17 PM
Aug 2019

That man made the choice to be a Republican, a Trump lover, in 2019.

The OP pegged that guys’ values very well.

The right LOVES to call for “civility” in cases like this. Why? Because they control a large propaganda media and they don’t want Americans to feel like this is a national emergency. They want everyone to feel normal. Screw That.

If you support the president in 2019 you’re a misogynist. Period.


(27,936 posts)
9. Excellent! K&R
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 10:06 AM
Aug 2019

I've have a rethugian brother who's not a Humpster, thank the universe. But this is how I sincerely feel about them, which most definitely applies to my bro.


(79,172 posts)
13. Serious wisdom from Andy Borowitz.
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 10:28 AM
Aug 2019

Most of the time he makes you laugh. But he always makes you think.


(27,936 posts)
11. Being a Rethugian equals a religion for many.
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 10:20 AM
Aug 2019

Not for the rich who are there just for their tax breaks but for the brainwashed poor and those who disdain reading verified facts. For instance, the other day my poor brother was defending Jeff Bezos. Had to tell him, since Faux didn't, that Besos is a Democrat (pseudo) who loves his tax cuts.


(79,172 posts)
12. Good work. And good on you for sharing this encounter.
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 10:26 AM
Aug 2019

DU can be something of a lab, sometimes. A laboratory of experiences and tests of encounters and talking points and observances of behavior. WELL WORTH sharing here.

We can ALL learn from this direct personal anecdotal evidence - whether the outcome was pleasing or not.

And make no mistake here: learning or discovering what NOT to do or what DOESN’T work is as valuable a lesson as learning or discovering (or maybe even inventing) an approach or tactic that DOES work. It’s tremendously valuable intel for your own personal strategic toolbox. Don’t forget that.

And it can make you smarter, sharper, more observant, more shrewd. Either way.


(8,200 posts)
14. Unfortunately todays typical Republican is the victim of demagoguery.
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 11:12 AM
Aug 2019

daMillions of the working class have been sidelined by two major factors. The first and foremost is automation which will only intensify replacing millions more as it advances. The second and is globalization of the economy which will not be solved by tariff wars. This is the particular segment that the demagogues have exploited to gain support.

The fact is, just as Trump has demonstrated, they have no real solution to stop the inevitable march just as the Industrial Revolution transformed an agricultural economy. The tax cuts are a vicious sham that will in the end only worsen the plight of the working class since billions have been diverted that could have been expended to finance much need infrastructure improvements providing employment during this transition. Secondly, and more importantly, those funds could have provide the necessary training to achieve the skills that will be essential for survival in the near future. The entire standard of living for every nation will be dependent on how well the prepared their citizens for the demands of the Information Age.

Unless the situation can be dramatically changed the future for our nation and the wellbeing of our youth appears to especially less than enthusiastic. I have one question for those who support Sanders. Please inform me what is the difference between what he has been proposing in regard to the idiotic tariffs that Trump has imposed and pulling out of trade agreements. In regard to the latter, we are seeing the results of Trans-pacific fiasco. China has welcomed this with enthusiasm and is rapidly increasing its control over the Asian economy. The same applies for Single Payer Medical Insurance whose proponents fail to say how they can convince over 80 million Americans who have superior employer provided insurance to vote for what they consider to be a no win situation. I will remind people that Sander's track record for his grand proposals stands at two post offices renamed and a shoe in Vet bill.

I hear little to nothing in regard to addressing the future needs. Until I do, I will withhold my vote hoping for a more progressive candidate.


(6,916 posts)
18. Quote from Warren addresses this
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 07:27 PM
Aug 2019
She continued, getting more passionate and outraged: “Man, I looked around in the middle of that fight and I realize: all the money was on one side, and all the hurtin’ was on the other. And that’s when I jumped in politically. I got in that fight, and I fought it for ten years. And by the end of that fight, I fully understood that every Republican stood there for the banks, and half of the Democrats did. So my party was the party that at least we got half of them to stand up for working people, and that was the big change for me.”

This is the plan. Vote for Democrats, then try to change the Democrats. But always vote for the Democrats.


(8,642 posts)
15. I've dated 2 women since my divorce ...
Tue Aug 27, 2019, 11:14 AM
Aug 2019

and both turned out to be hard core trumpers.

The first, was all about immigration. My parents are Mexican.
One was born and raised in Mexico, the other born in the US
but raised in Mexico. So this is an important issue with me.
Yet she didn't care. We should send "illegals" back.

The second, is all about business. Make more money. Money over everything.
She has books about improving herself, except 80% are based solely on money,
"How to make $1M", "Don't be afraid to be a Millionaire", ...

She once asked me that shouldn't a person be allowed to charge as much as
they can on the product they've invested in and/or created?
She did not like my response.
1) I believe in the theory of Supply & Demand.
Except in instances that are life & death.
No pharmaceuticals should be allowed to charge based on Supply & Demand
because it will cost people lives. Martin Shkreli, who's company raised the price
of an AIDS pill by a factor of 56 from $13.50 to $750 per pill.
Not to mention, Hospitals, Health Insurance companies ... it's all one big monopoly.
You get diagnosed with an illness, you can't shop around for the best priced treatment,
we are all pretty much tied to our hospital/doctor because of the health insurance we

2) I don't believe that Supply & Demand should apply to a captured market.
For example, I can only get San Diego Gas & Electric. They are owned by Sempra Energy.
I don't believe that they should be allowed to charge based on the S&D theory, because
we customers have no other option. We don't buy from SDG&E, we don't get electricity.
Gas & Electric companies used to be PUBLIC utilities where they were limited to around
8% profit.

3) I don't believe a company has the right to apply Supply & Demand Theory when their
product was first developed by the government (i.e. us). They've used our millions of $$$'s
to produce something like the internet, then they buy and make exorbitant money.
Where I live, I can only use COX as my sole provider for any telecommunications. Of
course I can use DirecTV Or DISH as well for TV, but I have to use COX for my internet
because no other company runs lines to my neighborhood. I can use other companies, but
COX as the right to the "LAST MILE" so these "other" companies would have to piggyback
onto COX line, so they still get a cut, which drives the "other" companies fees up, to the
point where they can't compete against COX!
We laid down the infrastructure to run their cables.
We built the power line infrastructure that allows Sempra to get their electricity from their
power plant to our homes.
We've already paid!!! Their product should be treated like a public utility and limit their profits.

So NO, I don't believe a company should be allowed to apply the theory of S&D and charge
as much as because they've invested in and/or created their product.

I'm sure there are other reasons, but these are the 3 main reasons.

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