Greg Abbott: Bootlicker in Chief
When Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 presidential election, the press told her to go away. When Donald Trump lost reelection last year, the mainstream media scrambled to keep his name alive, breathlessly reporting on every press release to come from his hive of bloodsucking bootlickers based in the country’s flaccid dong, Florida. Reminder: Trump cannot tweet because all he did on Twitter was feed misinformation to his followers/cultists, who now count among their sordid number nearly every Republican politician in our great republic in addition to steadfast true believer and unrepentant buzzkill Gov. Greg Abbott.
Now Texas’ fearful leader is being dragged into supporting the Big Lie, that the former guy “won” the 2020 presidential election but was denied the White House through some sort of elder magic despite zero supporting evidence. Though I honestly don’t care enough to check — so many omphaloskeptic novels to read, so little time — I can only imagine the stories being bought and sold by and from conservatives to answer the question “How can something be true when you can’t see, touch, taste, smell, or feel it?” Unless you’re talking about faith, the answer is, “It can’t, you dumb dummy!”
Voter fraud!, the Repubs howl. The truth? “Voter fraud” is so minimal it doesn’t even statistically matter. Faulty machines!, they roar. Again, even Republican voting agents examined every unit and came up with nada. Jewish space lasers changing votes! I mean, it would be funny if it weren’t actually something the former guy would tweet. I mean, something he would “press release.” Good lord, such a loser.
There’s no getting through to them in much the same way Greg Abbott will continue Greg Abbotting, and if there’s one thing Greg Abbott loves more than making excuses for the Houston Asterisks or not fixing power grids, it’s kissing Donald Trump’s pasty-white satchel-ass.
Read more: https://www.fwweekly.com/2021/10/07/greg-abbott-bootlicker-in-chief/
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