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47of74

(18,470 posts)
Sat Oct 8, 2016, 08:39 PM Oct 2016

Peak Florida has been achieved.

This case is so Florida that it's Peak Florida, in fact.

In a scene deserving of a “Yakety Sax” score, a 350-pound Florida man ran from a Walmart with two stolen TVs, but his getaway was compromised when his pants--containing his ID--“fell off as he ran away,” according to cops who yesterday apprehended the suspect, who had a crack pipe stuffed with Brillo buried in his anus at the time of his 3:43 AM arrest.

According to court complaints, Columbus Henderson fled from a Walmart Supercenter in Fort Lauderdale on September 26 with a pair of 40-inch Hisense televisions. Henderson, seen at right, bolted with the merchandise after he allowed a cashier to scan the $298 items.

As he scooted through the parking lot, the 45-year-old Henderson’s pants “fell off as he ran away,” according to Officer Scott Brandow. It appears that after Henderson’s pants fell to his ankles, he proceeded to run right out of the garment.

Upon arrival at the Pinellas County jail, Henderson informed officers that he had a crack pipe concealed in his anus. “When officers removed him from the vehicle, the defendant had removed the crack pipe from his anus and dropped it on the ground,” a patrolman reported.


Brillo pad? Up there?



OUUUCCCCCHHHHHHH!

8 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Peak Florida has been achieved. (Original Post) 47of74 Oct 2016 OP
What the #@^%? liberal N proud Oct 2016 #1
Which one? 47of74 Oct 2016 #2
The pantsless man running through walmart is nothing new and not exclusive to Florida liberal N proud Oct 2016 #7
Brillo? BainsBane Oct 2016 #3
I got about 2/3 of the way through Infinite Jest before I gave up Warren DeMontague Oct 2016 #5
Thats why they call it crack, son Warren DeMontague Oct 2016 #4
His mother must be so proud of his achievement. nt Lucky Luciano Oct 2016 #6
I'm a visual person and complain jane Oct 2016 #8
 

47of74

(18,470 posts)
2. Which one?
Sat Oct 8, 2016, 09:17 PM
Oct 2016

The brillo pad/glass pipe vision?

The guy running pantsless through Wally World's parking lot carrying two TVs?

liberal N proud

(60,302 posts)
7. The pantsless man running through walmart is nothing new and not exclusive to Florida
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 09:05 AM
Oct 2016

Believe it or not, that does not surprise me.

The inevitable addition of the crack pipe sticking out his ass together with the rest.

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
5. I got about 2/3 of the way through Infinite Jest before I gave up
Sun Oct 9, 2016, 01:40 AM
Oct 2016

But I seem to remember there was some deal in there about junkies using steel wool scrubbing pads to assist with the smoking of either freebase or heroin.

I dont know, i never got deep enough into the dark realms to find out.

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