Phantom squatter of Torquay (UK) curls one out (defecates) on bloke's motor

[steve2470]

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2019/09/03/idiot_poos_on_torquay_blokes_car/

This is how The Register imagines Devon seaside town resident Kirk Petrakis unfortunately woke up on Sunday morning after being disturbed in the night by his seven-year-old daughter complaining of someone "standing on the roof outside her bedroom".

Yikes. You know what kids can be like – creepy.

Petrakis initially wrote the sprog's report off as a bad dream because "we thought she meant the flat roof" and "couldn't see anything".

But out of the mouths of babes comes truth and wisdom as he later found what DevonLive politely described as "a huge pile of human excrement on their car roof".

[Kaleva]

1. Every one of us has had to go really bad at one time or another.

As the pile was described as being huge, I imagine the person couldn't hold it until he or she could get to a proper rest room and had to settle for the next best thing.

[Stuart G]

2. Yes, a common human problem..also dogs, cats, elephants, etc. etc.