Florida man caught masturbating in Walmart parking lot told cops he was 'lonely'

[marmar]

A man who was arrested for masturbating in the parking lot of a Florida Walmart told police he took matters into his own hands because he missed his girlfriend.

The indecent incident happened Wednesday in Vero Beach, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

Cops were called after a shopper noticed the suspect’s self-love session inside a Kia parked outside the store.

According to the tipster, the Walmart wanker had the driver’s side window down, and was performing the highly visible lewd act in broad daylight. ...............(more)

https://nypost.com/2021/02/19/florida-man-caught-masturbating-in-walmart-parking-lot/

[OnDoutside]

1. By a lonely Walmart wall, I heard a young man bawling....

[leftieNanner]

2. Ugh

Why do they always look like that?

[dhill926]

3. dude...get a room...

[NoMoreRepugs]

4. "Walmart wanker"... grilling some steaks and having a beer outside

and had to spit out the beer. Hilarious.

[getagrip_already]

5. hey, it's just a youthful indiscretion...

who here hasn't yanked their wank in a wal-mart parking lot? Buehler? He is just a good ol' boy wronged by wimin folk.

{sarcasm for the quick to alert}

[magicarpet]

6. Was his girlfriend inside WalMart buying lingerie ?

Poor thing his anticipation took over and he could not wait to get home.

[dameatball]

7. That's why I never shake hands with the greeters.

[kairos12]

8. In another store he could be

the Target Tosser.

[Mazeltov Cocktail]

9. Ok, all that's missing from this totally Florida story is the open can of Natural Ice (Natty Ice)

However, it is sunny and 78 degrees here for those of us who are not masturbating in our cars...

[Blue Owl]

10. Dude, the jerk store called...