Hey, Hillary: Smile, Girl

You know, the world would be a happier place if a girl would just smile more.

Just ask the guys on Twitter.

Now, by "girl," I mean a former U.S. senator and secretary of state who is likely to be the first female president of these allegedly united states.

As for "the world," let's narrow it down. We're talking mean men who apparently spend much of their day breathing into paper bags because they're not even allowed to ask a secretary to grab them a cuppa joe anymore without someone from HR signing them up for diversity training.

What? No more office wife? Evidence of hell in a handbasket right there. Just ask them.

So now we've got this Hillary woman going all presidential on us. She's everywhere. Giving speeches. Declaring victories. Starring in one town hall after another. How much suffering must a good ol' boy endure?

"God," they pray, "pick another name."

On Tuesday night, Hillary Clinton did what even Hillary Clinton thought she wouldn't do: She swept the primaries. Missouri (barely), Illinois, North Carolina, Florida — she won them and my home state of Ohio, which is in the Eastern time zone, people. Boy am I tired of that question.

Clinton strolled her conquering self across the stage in Florida as results poured in, and she delivered a victory speech while some of the white guys in TV-land offered their critiques via Twitter.