Domestic Violence - The Lies Are Over!

[Dokkie]

In this short documentary, we see that domestic violence is an equal opportunity problem and not just a male on female issue.

For decades, feminist and women's rights organizations have basically said that women are not human. That women, are somehow void of human emotions such as anger, greed etc.

Now that women are in the mainstream, we can see that they are just as human as men. And they always have been.

The genie is out of the bottle. The gig is up!. Years ago, feminist never thought that women would begin to act JUST LIKE MEN!

[lumberjack_jeff]

1. It has been known for decades that domestic violence is largely reciprocal.

But there's an industry which depends on pretending that it isn't true.

[opiate69]

2. Years ago, on DU2....

I had posted a study by either the FBI or the DoJ (can't remember which) which determined that in the overwhelming majority of M/F DV instances, police were noting that the female was the party that escalated the confrontation to the physical arena. That may have been my first (and last) encounter with the OOPO* I wonder if I can still find it....















*Order of the Perpetually Offended ™

[opiate69]

3. Found this.....

although I'm sure the source will be called into question...
http://www.mens-rights.net/law/violence/ipv.htm

[lumberjack_jeff]

4. Here's a more authoritative source

http://pb.rcpsych.org/content/35/1/33.1.full

Domestic violence is most commonly reciprocal
Daniel McQueen
+ Author Affiliations

Daniel McQueen is consultant child and adolescent psychiatrist, Barnet Enfield and Haringey Mental Health Trust, London, email: [e-mail]

Next Section
Morgan et al1 highlight the high incidence of being a victim of intimate partner violence among female psychiatric patients in the UK. This is in keeping with a historic approach that has conceptualised domestic violence as something that men do to women and has only sought evidence for violence by men against women.

Partly this may be because women are more likely to report intimate partner violence than men. One study found that in the same sample of couples 28% of the women, but only 19% of their male partners, reported that their relationships were violent, suggesting underreporting in a third of men.2

In recent years researchers have approached populations without preconceptions as to the direction of violence. Large epidemiological studies have demonstrated that domestic violence is most commonly reciprocal and that when only one partner is violent there is an excess of violent women. Whitaker et al,2 in a study of 14 000 young US couples aged 18-28 years, found that 24% of relationships had some violence and half of those were reciprocally violent. In 70% of the non-reciprocally violent relationships women were the perpetrators of violence. Reciprocal violence appears to be particularly dangerous, leading to the highest rate of injury (31.4%). This may be because reciprocal violence is more likely to escalate.

[tech_smythe]

5. Women, more than men, know the right buttons to push to incite violence

My ex dared me to hit her after I found out she was cheating on me....
believe me it was tempting, but it wasn't going to be worth it.
While I have a nasty temper, I'm also rational, so I put a hole in the wall instead.
I never hit my ex, ever, ever ever! No matter what, ever! and I never would.

While I agree that violence is N E V E R an acceptable response, I also understand how it can happen.
This idea that women are perpetually innocent in domestic violence is to me, a insulting idea.

If you keep insulting someone who is mad, you're going to get hit most of the time unless that person is zen guy.

What i'd like to see done in these family help centers that advertise on the liberal radio station I listen to, is to teach BOTH sides how to avoid confrontations. Simply telling the man he;s a bad bad person who has to watch EVERYTHING he does isn't going to solve the problem. The other half needs to be taught to watch how far they push the situation.

of course... what do I know? i'm just a bad bad evil man

[stevenleser]

8. I don't think they have a special knowledge of how to incite violence, but I do think they wield

privilege in this case because a woman is seen as having the right to hit a man in certain circumstances, but the reverse is never true.

See the following post in this thread by eekMD. There are tons of instances of men being hit by women on TV and the women are seen as good people before and after, they can even be the protagonists in the story. I am talking about cases where the woman was never hit or otherwise had any violence against her by the male in question.

It thus would not surprise me if men were the victims of more domestic violence than women. There is so often no consequence to it for women.

[stevenleser]

9. FYI, someone alerted on you

At Wed May 16, 2012, 10:02 PM an alert was sent on the following post:

Women, more than men, know the right buttons to push to incite violence
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1114&pid=764

REASON FOR ALERT:

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate. (See <a href="http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=aboutus#communitystandards" target="_blank">Community Standards</a>.)

ALERTER'S COMMENTS:

"Women, more than men, know the right buttons to push to incite violence"

this is simply astounding

Violence in response to speech is not "incited", it is a choice made by the person who uses violence.

Blaming victims of violence at DU?

It just multiplies ... "If you keep insulting someone who is mad, you're going to get hit most of the time unless that person is zen guy." ... "The other half needs to be taught to watch how far they push the situation."

who knows whether the poster is "just a bad bad evil man" ... but this sure is a bad bad evil post

There are women victims of violence at DU who were told by their partners that they caused the violence they suffered. Should they have to be told it at DU? and please, should there be forums at DU they have to stay out of in order to protect themselves from it? I hope not.

You served on a randomly-selected Jury of DU members which reviewed this post. The review was completed at Wed May 16, 2012, 10:17 PM, and the Jury voted 3-3 to LEAVE IT.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: This is often unconscious learned behaviour, learned as children from dysfuntional parents. Hiding the thread won't make it go away, it has to be talked about.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: This is an entirely appropriate post in the men's forum. It is not an attack on any DUer and it is not directed at any DU'er. Men have the same right to explore the domestic violence issue as women. Poster may or may not be wrong, but he is certainly not disruptive or inappropriate.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT and said: Poor wording, perhaps not intentional, leads me to vote "hide". Could be offensive or over the top regarding gender and issues of violence.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT and said: No explanation given
Juror #5 voted to HIDE IT and said: Poster may as well have saved keystrokes and said "look what that bitch made me do." Disgusting, over the top.
Juror #6 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE and said: No explanation given

Thank you very much for participating in our Jury system, and we hope you will be able to participate again in the future.

[tech_smythe]

10. hardly a surprise really - honest discussion isn't tolerated when it comes to men

I don't believe I ever suggested someone be violent, or that one should ever hit their partner, only that I can see how it can happen sometimes.

I suppose I should have said what should not have HAD to be said, that the majority of times it is the aggressor who is clearly in the wrong, and the aggressee who rarely instigates.

I don;'t believe I even challenged the laws which are HEAVILY weighed in the female's favor. If a man is even accused under breath of DV he is immediately put under suspicion if not arrested.

there are of course times when the system fails utterly, which saddens me. victims of DV should be protected.

but that wasn't the point of the discussion was it? THAT should never even have to be SAID, let alone reiterated multiple times.

Well I'll stop before I post something that I can be alerted on YET AGAIN, because the women here have thin skin and can't tolerate it when men try to work things out!

[Warren DeMontague]

16. You "can see how it can happen sometimes"? Thats justifying it.

I know, youve been banned, although if you follow the pattern of some of our other identity-fluid drama trolls and sock farmers, youll be back. For all i know, youre the same entity. Dont know, dont care.

I have been accused of insufficiently speaking up, here, depute the fact that i only became aware of this brou ha ha through the extended discussion in H/M. So let me take this opportunity to say in a clear, unequivocal voice: domestic violence is COMPLETELY INEXCUSABLE, ALWAYS WRONG, and TOTALLY MORALLY INDEFENSIBLE no MATTER WHAT. Period. All the time.

If someone you're in a relationship with pisses you off so much that you cant talk to that person and resolve it, your option is to LEAVE. Go find somewhere else to stay, like under a bridge in a fairy tale.

[4th law of robotics]

14. Not surprising

the notion that women could have any role in domestic violence other than 100% innocent victim is very offensive to some people.

I don't understand why, but that's how the world works.

[ellisonz]

13. "While I have a nasty temper, I'm also rational, so I put a hole in the wall instead."

How is hitting a wall rational?

http://espn.go.com/new-york/nba/story/_/id/7875526/2012-nba-playoffs-amare-stoudemire-new-york-knicks-injures-hand-loss

[4th law of robotics]

7. Entirely possible that domestic violence against men is more common

since it is almost never reported and when it is there are essentially no convictions.

[Warren DeMontague]

15. Violence is not okay, it is not justifiable, it is not excusable, and it should be prosecuted.

That's all I'm going to say on that.