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Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 08:50 PM Jun 2013

Yes, Misandry IS a "thing".

http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2013-04-why-feminists-should-stop-saying-misandry-doesnt-exi

What feminists mean when they say "misandry isn’t a thing" is that because our society systematically privileges men and disempowers women, misogyny serves a different cultural purpose, has different and more damaging impacts and grows from different roots to misandry. To a certain extent I agree with that, but saying misandry is not the mirror image of misogyny does not mean that misandry does not exist at all. I believe that arguing that misandry isn’t real is damaging to men, damaging to women, and damaging to the struggle for social justice.

I would distinguish three common varieties of misandry that are most definitely real. The first is a personal prejudice, which may often arise from damaging or hurtful experiences at the hands of men, creating a negative stereotype heuristic. This may not be admirable, but it is often understandable. The second is an ideological misandry arising from certain strains of radical feminism, roughly caricatured as the "all men are rapists" tendency. I think such ideas are wrong and harmful, but I’m also far from convinced that these people are anywhere close to being numerous or powerful enough to cause any real damage, except perhaps to feminism itself.

The third variety of misandry is the one that seriously concerns me, and it is worth looking in detail at what it is and what it does. Cultural misandry is a significant force in policing and constraining the roles of men, and indeed women in society. Our capitalist hegemonic culture (or patriarchy, if you prefer) considers it acceptable to routinely mock and denigrate men’s domestic and child-caring abilities because this acts strongly to discourage deviations from the gender status quo, from which vested interests profit. Our culture systematically devalues male deaths (in news reports specifying numbers of deaths of women and children, for instance) because economic interests require a degree of male disposability in the workplace and military interests may require the mass dispatch of young men to die on battlefields at a moment’s notice. When society mocks and reviles male victims of domestic violence and sexual abuse, the subtext is that it is women’s place to be victimized and oppressed, not men’s.

When feminists say that misandry isn’t a thing, what I hear is that these issues are so minor, so marginal that they are insignificant. It is not just that they are unworthy of attention, they are not even worthy of a word to describe them. If Lindy West really wants more men to be allies to the feminist movement and wants us to believe that feminism really is on our side, then I struggle to see how this type of rhetoric is in any way helpful.
17 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Yes, Misandry IS a "thing". (Original Post) Bonobo Jun 2013 OP
I really hate to be a dick. MrSlayer Jun 2013 #1
MrSlayer... Bonobo Jun 2013 #2
Well have at it brother. MrSlayer Jun 2013 #3
Yes. I do. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #4
Why give a shit about any social issue? Major Nikon Jun 2013 #5
Okay. Seeing it laid out this way, I'm certainly less inclined to be dismissive. nomorenomore08 Jun 2013 #6
Some people do hate men, ergo, "misandry" exists. Warren DeMontague Jun 2013 #7
However you slice it, neither gender gets a great deal in this society. nomorenomore08 Jun 2013 #8
Yes it is. Behind the Aegis Jun 2013 #9
I don't think it's less common. lumberjack_jeff Jun 2013 #10
The difference comes in what is accepted. Pab Sungenis Aug 2013 #12
thanks for the information refrescanos Jul 2013 #11
Hate is a thing. nt rrneck Aug 2013 #13
And white people are just as oppressed as black people YoungDemCA Aug 2013 #14
Funny Major Nikon Aug 2013 #15
In what ways would you measure white privilege? lumberjack_jeff Aug 2013 #16
Another thing to add to this Major Nikon Aug 2013 #17
 

MrSlayer

(22,143 posts)
1. I really hate to be a dick.
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 10:34 PM
Jun 2013

But do other men actually give a shit about any of this? It sounds like a bunch of whiny, new age bullshit to me. I don't give fuck one about misogyny or misandry or feminism or masculinism (is that a word?), I treat everyone with respect until they no longer deserve it. But I also listen to "sexist" music and enjoy racial humor and a bunch of non-PC activities. Being "offensive" in this day and age is kind of fun.

I think people take themselves way too seriously. Obviously, the act of rape isn't funny but jokes about it are fine with me. Jokes about anything are fine with me. That doesn't make me a rapist or one that encourages it. I don't watch a TV show that features the henpecked husband playing the fool and think I'm being oppressed as a man. And so on and so forth.

I respect your opinion on several matters but it seems like you have a personal battle going on with the she-woman man haters club and I just wonder why you care about any of it. It seems so nonproductive and not fun. I mean, who gives a fuck if some radical thinks it's degrading to call your daughter "baby"?

I don't know. Maybe I'm fucked up.

Bonobo

(29,257 posts)
2. MrSlayer...
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 10:39 PM
Jun 2013

I appreciate your thoughts on it and sometimes I do wish their little stick-pointing behavior didn't bug me.

I guess in a way I am a victim of some kind of social programming. Seeing (some) women make men into the bad guys bugs me on some kind of deep level.

So no, it isn't fun but I am annoyed by those who take the mantle of holiness upon themselves to hide their hateful little hearts.

At heart, I am a counterpuncher and will always punch back. I was built that way.

 

MrSlayer

(22,143 posts)
3. Well have at it brother.
Fri Jun 21, 2013, 10:48 PM
Jun 2013

I suppose someone has to do it. And since it isn't going to be me, I don't have the patience or inclination, it pretty much has to be you. Haha!

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
4. Yes. I do.
Sat Jun 22, 2013, 02:31 AM
Jun 2013

A degree of cultural introspection is appropriate, healthy and will help you to understand why your sons didn't go to college and why their friends (or at least the ones who didn't join the army) have committed suicide.

The good thing about DU is there's something for everyone.

Major Nikon

(36,827 posts)
5. Why give a shit about any social issue?
Sat Jun 22, 2013, 07:43 AM
Jun 2013

The option certainly exists to light up a joint and watch the world go by without caring about anything. Lots of people do.

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
6. Okay. Seeing it laid out this way, I'm certainly less inclined to be dismissive.
Sat Jun 22, 2013, 08:31 PM
Jun 2013

"Misandry" being, in this case, not some imagined conspiracy by the evil wimmenz, but a social phenomenon which goes hand in hand with misogyny. In a hyper-capitalist society like ours, people by and large are only valued in terms of how well they fulfill their assigned role. And gender roles - male and female both - are a large part of that.

nomorenomore08

(13,324 posts)
8. However you slice it, neither gender gets a great deal in this society.
Mon Jun 24, 2013, 04:36 PM
Jun 2013

And just as some men really hate women, I don't doubt that some women really hate men, albeit perhaps for slightly different reasons.

Behind the Aegis

(53,944 posts)
9. Yes it is.
Mon Jun 24, 2013, 04:40 PM
Jun 2013

There are a variety of ways it shows itself, but most think it doesn't exist because it is not as common as misogyny. There is also quite a bit of anti-male sexism.

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
10. I don't think it's less common.
Tue Jun 25, 2013, 10:42 AM
Jun 2013

I think it's harder to detect because prevailing social norms tend to disguise it.

When the women and children are being pushed onto the lifeboats, it's easier to notice the guys who are pulling the women back out. It's harder to notice the women who found the climax of the trip so fulfilling that they are already planning their next cruise.

 

Pab Sungenis

(9,612 posts)
12. The difference comes in what is accepted.
Sat Aug 3, 2013, 11:24 AM
Aug 2013

Misogyny has become culturally taboo over time, as it should be. Misandry, on the other hand, has become encouraged.

refrescanos

(112 posts)
11. thanks for the information
Sun Jul 21, 2013, 04:46 PM
Jul 2013

I had never heard that term before.
But I do know I've had all three examples happen in my life. Some major events, some minor.
I also wish people could behave freely without having to conform to "standards".

Major Nikon

(36,827 posts)
15. Funny
Sun Aug 4, 2013, 07:47 PM
Aug 2013

That's the exact same conflation that many offer when they have little substance to offer for one of those things, in essence making the "same fucking argument".

http://www.google.com/search?q=%22white+male+privilege%22&sitesearch=democraticunderground.com

Just sayin'

 

lumberjack_jeff

(33,224 posts)
16. In what ways would you measure white privilege?
Tue Aug 6, 2013, 11:56 AM
Aug 2013

Education? It's certainly true that whites get better educations than blacks. Blacks are disproportionately disciplined and have a higher dropout rate. They are less likely to go to college.
Healthcare? Far more money is spent on white people's care, and one of the results of that is that blacks live roughly 7% shorter lives.
Employment? Blacks are significantly more likely to be unemployed, and have been forever.
Justice? Blacks are more likely to be victims of crimes, and they are also 6x more likely to be sent to prison and get harsher sentences for the same crimes.

In each and every one of those markers of dis-privilege, men are holding the shitty end of the stick*... PLUS, unlike blacks, men are four times more likely to commit suicide and have a near monopoly on workplace and military fatalities.

The counterargument analogous to the argument for male privilege is "butbutbut... the president is Black!" Which I find lame in the extreme.

The concept of male privilege can't be defended on its own merits, so, as you are doing, it is always conflated with the easily defensible concept of white privilege.

So, no. "Not right" because it's the absolute 180° opposite fucking argument.

*But men are 11x more likely to be sent to prison than women.

Major Nikon

(36,827 posts)
17. Another thing to add to this
Tue Aug 6, 2013, 04:11 PM
Aug 2013

The effects of race privilege tend to be generational. Chances are your parent(s) are the same race you are. Any disadvantage they feel you also feel to a certain extent. Most people are also the product of a male and female which means any effect of gender privilege tends not to be generational. A person with a grandmother who was denied the right to vote is just as likely to be male as female. A descendant of a slave does not have the same probability of being white or black. When you see someone conflating race privilege with gender privilege there's a pretty good chance they are either being disingenuous or they just don't have much substance to offer.

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