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rrneck

(17,671 posts)
Wed Aug 14, 2013, 12:47 AM Aug 2013

What are things men should just know?

Once me and a guy we called Fast Floyd, sorry about that irony meter, were delivering some office furniture to a residence. Immediately in front of the door and just to the left was a vertiginous flight of stairs that led to the final destination of the desk. This desk was five feet long, three feet deep and weighed as much as a 52 Buick (dry).

Fast Floyd was the laziest human being east of the Mississippi, and I weighed about a hundred and sixty pounds (wet). Floyd and I were standing next to the desk trying to figure out how to make the tight turn onto the stair landing to carry it upstairs. Actually, I was the only one thinking, Floyd was staring into the middle distance waiting for me to figure it out.

While in the middle of my reverie, a guy appeared on the landing above and asked, "Can you just sort of bench press it over the rail?" I smiled and told him in my most jocular customer service voice that we wouldn't be able to do that, while thinking that the only thing likely to get bench pressed over the rail was his dumb ass.

Now, lots of people are good at lots of things, and nobody is good at everything. But are there some things that men should just, sort of, know? Things like it's really hard to pick a desk up over your head because, physics. I have a friend who can field strip any small arm made in the world. He used to jump out of airplanes with a machine gun. The 82nd Airborne spent your tax dollars well. But even though he doesn't know which end of crescent wrench to walk up to, he still understands gross motor control. It always seemed to me that shoving stuff around is what men do. We started out throwing rocks at Mastodons and we've pretty much spent the rest of our history since then flinging our bodies at stuff larger than us.

Maybe I'm not being fair or sexist or whatever, but it seems to me that men should know certain things because, men. If I'm fulla shit it won't be the first time. But if not, can anyone think of "man stuff that men should know?"

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What are things men should just know? (Original Post) rrneck Aug 2013 OP
don't stick your dick in an electrical outlet, a food processor, or a vacuum cleaner. Warren DeMontague Aug 2013 #1
And never piss on an electric fence. nt rrneck Aug 2013 #2
*** Warren DeMontague Aug 2013 #3
That's going to be stuck in my head for a week. rrneck Aug 2013 #4
I'm not sure what men should just know... Fridays Child Aug 2013 #5
Thanks! rrneck Aug 2013 #6

Warren DeMontague

(80,708 posts)
1. don't stick your dick in an electrical outlet, a food processor, or a vacuum cleaner.
Wed Aug 14, 2013, 12:56 AM
Aug 2013

men should absolutely know that.

Fridays Child

(23,998 posts)
5. I'm not sure what men should just know...
Wed Aug 14, 2013, 01:05 AM
Aug 2013

...but your post made me laugh and, after a long day at work, that was nice.

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