Let's Help Exxon Fix The Climate Mess: Cities On Rafts! Animatronic Extinct Animals! More Obesity!
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In the spirit of Tillerson's tough love, can-do attitude, I offer 10 novel engineering adaptations to climate change – all yielding huge profits!
1. Go with the flow: Put the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to work moving coastal cities onto really big rafts. So when storm surges hit and sea levels rise, those skyscrapers just lift off their moorings and float. Cars will need to float too, which will transform New York into the East Coast Venice. I'm still working out the bit about putting subways on rafts.
2. Global warming road trip: Gather up the nation's richest farmland and put it on wheels! That's right, when corn no longer grows in drought- and heat-taxed Kansas, U.S. agribusiness can just pick up the Great Plains and roll them north. I've already got the State Department working on the little quandary of what to do when the soil trucks get to the Canadian border.
3. Entertain ourselves out of the crisis: Put Disney to work to "imagineer" animatronic animals to replace all those that go extinct due to climate change. Display them at a giant Polar Bear Country Jamboree. Likewise, have Disney make a movie called "The Earth Is Just Fine!" showing that those glaciers haven't melted one bit. Lots of blue screen and an air-conditioned movie theater can go a long way to help us feel good about global warming's manageability.
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http://wwwp.dailyclimate.org/tdc-newsroom/2012/07/exxon-climate-response
