I found an old article from years ago that was taking a dig at a major bank that was fond of foreclosing on lots of properties and charging lots of fees, though I couldn't find the hilarious US form letter for any diplomatic dealings with Israel...
Israel recruits NAB to close West Bank
Posted on May 2, 2002 by The Chaser
National Australia Tanks move on a village outside Ramallah
[Edition 56] TEL AVIV, Wednesday: Israeli security forces have successfully enlisted the expert help of the National Australia Bank to close down the West Bank. “For years we’d been trying to shut down the West Bank, then Frank Cicutto comes along and manages to close the whole thing down in less than a week,” said a glowing Ariel Sharon.
The NAB’s strategy relied on higher self-interest rates, a policy initially implemented by Sharon several months ago. Cicutto began his work in outerlying villages of the West Bank. “We’re used to doing this stuff in regional areas,” explained Cicutto, as he completed the closure of all olive branches. The West Bank closure was eventually completed with a batch of new tank fees.
Cicutto expressed surprise at the common Israeli tactic of charging gunmen strongholds. “For every gunman, there are another 20 ordinary citizens out there not being charged anything,” he said. “Mortargauge rates have been too low for too long.”
Cicutto denied that the NAB had only targeted Palestinians, pointing to the Troop Withdrawal fees that hit the Israel army hard in recent days. “We’ve been totally fair, and anyway, if they have a complaint, they can always refer complaints to the Bombardsman.”
It only took days for Palestinians to flee the villages around the West Bank, surprising residents with the ease of its closure. “Both my father and my grandfather died to save this land, and I had vowed to do the same,” said one Ramallah resident. “But when the NAB presented me with the figures, and showed that it was just unsustainable – especially in view of what was happening in the US mortgage securitisation market – I couldn’t help but accept their logic.”
http://www.chaser.com.au/2002/israel-recruits-nab-to-close-west-bank/
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