My GLBT family: How did you meet your significant other?
Either your current one, or if - to paraphrase from someone else here who posted a recent thread - you HAD one with whom you broke off a relationship.
I'll start:
I don't talk much about my S.O. for a number of reasons. Honestly, it's basically over now, but we met at a bar in the West Village 16 years ago. We were together 14 years - lots of ups and downs, but the best years of my life were good thanks to him. Though he'd probably say we never were significant others, just friends. Sigh. 
I guess that means I've lost about 60 IQ points since I was a youngster. Or was I just kidding myself all that time? Or who knows, maybe we WERE just friends, and I'm no good at love and a normal person would have been pursuing a relationship more explicitly about romance and love. (Of course, a gay person back then hardly was treated normally, so how could I pursue a 'normal' relationship with another man?)
Anyway, it was the proverbial love at first sight - full thick head of dark hair, slender build, sharp dresser, hypnotizing glance. He left and I chased him out, lol. 
But we talked, exchanged numbers and off we went. 
So it's over now, and I need to move on, but I'm finding it difficult to let go of the anger and hurt. I will eventually, and survive, but I thought it would be therapeutic for some of us here going through this to share, or even if you haven't broken up with your S.O., just share your thoughts about him/her.
Thanks. 
= new reply since forum marked as read
LOL
i sent her a smile, she sent me her phone number. we've been together since our first day almost 6 years ago.
if 6 years ago someone had told me if that i would be in a monogamous relationship for 6 years, i would have laughed at them.
sorry, it's over. Maybe you'll meet a new person you like over pride!!
happy pride sweetie
pull my heartstrings.
So happy for you and Lisa.
I never thought it would be for me either. I was a total tramp, loved it, and make no apologies for it!
I will never judge others on how they live their own lives, but for me, it's really wonderful when you are in that kind of relationship, enjoy being in that kind of relationship, and don't even have the desire to stray from it. We're monogamous, not because we have to be, not because some invisible deity demands it, not even because we demand it of each other.. we do it just because we enjoy each other so much, we just don't feel any need or desire to seek pleasure of that nature outside of us.
Thanks for sharing.
(HillWilliam, I was waiting for someone to mark up the Sofia comment... It breaks my heart all of the girls save "Rose" are gone
)
in Jackson Mississippi. He was 39, I was 35; it was his first night out as on openly gay man after a somewhat troubled 18 year marriage (they're still close friends-we spent Christmas with them).
I had moved to Jackson the previous year because I was sick of being alone in rural Mississippi. At least Jackson had a gay bar and it quickly became my "Cheers". After a year I was pretty depressed, pretty much convinced that I would end up alone. I overheard a conversation where this guy made a disparaging remark about George Bush and that caught my attention (an astonishing number of gay men in Mississippi are conservative Republicans-its sickening the crap they take in order to 'fit in"
. He was cute, 5'9" with salt and pepper hair and a mustache. I zeroed in and kissed him before he left the bar (his two gay "escorts" were scandalized!
The next night we had dinner at my trailer-beef stir fry. One thing led to another.
Now we live a wonderful old home in a historic district with a Jack Russell, two yard cats (their choice not ours), a garden with 49 heirloom tomato pants, and a good friend on the city council. We hosted last years neighborhood adult Halloween and will probably do it again this year. We're both retired, spend all of our time together and somehow make it work. At the risk of rubbing it in, life is good.
Not perfect though. I found out 14 years ago that I was HIV positive (he isn't-it happened before we met). We're very lucky that my insurance keeps costs within reason-at least so far.
Every morning I wake up happy because I'm the outside of the "spoon". Every night I go to bed and hope that I get one more day with him. He's the best friend I've ever had and he smells good too....
I know it doesn't happen often but just know that it can happen. It happened to me...
even in the face of adversity, a gay man can not only survive but thrive.
and prosper, probably, too - but I guess George Takei is the expert in those matters, lol.
anyway, thanks!
You are so lucky. Your life sounds wonderful!
is that still around?
I met my husband on a phone line that was for anonymous hookups. His "ad" caught my attention and I left a message for him.
He called me the next day and by that I time I was busy cleaning the house and not in the "mood" But I agreed to meet him at a local coffee house. I really did NOT want a blind date. Blind dates are hard with guys. So many of them decide in the 1st millisecond whether or not they are interested before you even have a chance to open your mouth. I had really arrived at the point where I was not looking for love as much as a good time. "Good times" are much much easier to come by. Soooo when I pulled up to the coffee house he was sitting at an outside table. And he was just about the most attractive man I had ever (up to that point) laid my eyes on. I remember thinking "oh that's right, what I got up for today was a rejection" So I stomped up to the table and asked it were him. It was. We talked for abit and he LOOKED AT HIS WATCH. "Alrighty that's it" I thought. He asked if I wanted to take a walk around one our lakes. I did. I kept thinking, "be cool be cool, don't yap out your life story" By this time our "quick hook up had evolved into a 1st date" We went to an Ethiopian joint for dinner. I was watching him scoop up some lentils with his injera and considered crying out "I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU!" Thankfully I resisted the urge.
We didn't kiss for a month and 1/2.
That was August 1997. I love him still, with all my heart.
I'm so used to rushing right in to things - if you know what I mean.
This will be an internet age story no doubt. I was never much for the bar scene, mostly because alcohol doesn't agree with me. In the past I had met most of my dates through friends of friends or at small gatherings amongst friends and such. To a bit of success.
I had been in a potential long term relationship (cut short) up until about four months before. That relationship ended awfully. We'll leave it at the feeling was not mutual and I was on the short end of that proverbial stick. (That is not an euphemism, promise!)
I decided to try out a few online dating sites. Frequently though I was more successful finding people to talk to and to a lesser extent sleep with than people I thought had much romantic potential. Believe me I went out once with a whole lot of winners there. 
And I was fed up. With everyone. But one afternoon after getting out of class... I was working on my Master's at that point... I logged on and started wandering through profiles.
I found a guy with a really cute face and a smile that seemed to make me happier even from the computer screen. We were (and are) very different. I'm tall. He's short. He's outgoing. I'm reserved. He was several years younger than me (which above all I wanted to avoid after my ex). He liked to party; I liked to watch movies. I love kids; he's pretty much afraid of them.
I went out with him a few days later, after talking back and forth a bit. Dinner was with about seven of his friends. Oh kill me, an entourage on a first date. Spectacular for a guy that's reserved. But I survived. And so did we. We fell for each other fairly quickly, but have lasted. Through thick and thin. And believe me there were and are challenges, but I wouldn't trade him for the world.
Just seeing him smile at me still makes me happy.
You are a jewel. 
Actually, I KNOW you will.
Mr. BtA and I met 10 years ago (just had our anniversary in February) at a bar in Oklahoma City. I had just started going back out to the clubs. Prior to that, I had only been out on New Year's, see, what happened was in December of 2001, I basically had a nervous breakdown, for lack of a better term. I completely withdrew from everyone. So, when he approached me, I wasn't really interested. I thought he was cute, and very nice. He kept calling and PM'img me. I finally explained everything that had happened, it was a hot mess worthy of several story lines on any soap opera. I told him I was probably not a very good person to be around and he would be better off with someone else. He basically said, "one way or another, we are going to be together. If you need time, you got it. I'll be here. You obviously don't see in yourself what I see in you." What makes this even more special is he is a very technically-oriented person, not big on feelings, psychology, and the like. I on the other had was actually a counselor! LOL!
He waited. He called; we talked all the time. Then, came my birthday (May 17th), basically three months after we started dating. He secretly called my mother and offered to fly her out to Oklahoma to see me. We hadn't seen each other in two years, but we are very close and it was one of the reasons I was so depressed. That sealed the deal. He tried to get me the one thing I wanted most that year for my birthday without my ever saying that was what I wanted.
We are opposites in many ways. He is quiet and reserved. I am loud and in-your-face, though I can be unnoticeable, should I so desire. He is stoic. I wear my heart on my sleeve. He is "straight-like", and I am so gay, there are dead people haunting my parent's saying "really? you had no clue?!" He is an only child, I am one of four. His parents are much older, mine are 18 years older than me, and 12 years older than him. I am very close to my mother. His family love each other, but not what one would call close. I am out to my family; he isn't. He is long to anger, I get pissed if the mail is late. He rarely cries. I cry if the mail is late (OK, that is joke.."Golden Girls" anyone? Very obscure reference. If you get it, you are very, very homosexual!!), but I do cry easily. He is short on words. I can talk 'til i lose my voice, then keep talking because I know sign language! Basically, we are the literal Yin and Yang, mainly of one way, with a dot of the other inside us. We balance each other quite well. Of course, it didn't hurt he has a thing for Jewish boys.
I will say this...we are not each other's normal "types." If you looked at people we dated in the past, there isn't much in common. So, we were both looking for love in all the wrong places. Also, those who haven't met their special someone, it is sooooo cliche, but...when you least expect it, when you aren't looking, that little cherub, Cupid, is gonna getcha! Until then...git yo freak on!!
But someone willing to fly my mom cross-country sounds pretty sweet to me.
I recall years ago here on DU (in DU2) I had a conversation with another DU member (and this was in the early days of gay marriage becoming a hot topic) relating to gay people in rural areas. Or it may have been about Larry Craig? I can't recall the precise context.
I do seem to recall, however, that the person with whom I was exchanging posts was a straight female.
At some point, I tried to make the argument that, if there is a perception that gay people are all about sex, part of the reason is because in rural areas and even in many larger areas and in repressive states, gay people have the exact same sex drive as heterosexual men but almost NO arenas in which to gather and make acquaintance so as to find suitable partners.
And she actually responded 'yes they do, at church.' At first I thought she was being silly. But she wasn't, she reiterated that it's a terrific place to meet other gay people.
Well. You know. Where you gonna go with that?
As a disclaimer, I know there are wonderful, loving people here in the GLBT forum who are Christian and church-going and all that, but even they have to concede that most churches do NOT even welcome the FACT of gay people, let alone honestly welcoming them into the congregation. The hierarchies that are charged with administering to Catholics, Presbyterians, Baptists, Pentecostals, Methodists, Muslims, and even some Jewish variations - all of them in some way or another are hostile to gay people.
Anyway, thanks for sharing that, BeeBee.
but I don't remember very many (well, perhaps one or two) who actually obeyed them. Or most of them. Okay, a rule or two.
But here we are, blessed with success in spite of ourselves
Mazel tov!
LOL, because seems like we all did. 
"We had a private ceremony on April 1st. This day was chosen because so many people said that within 6 months we'd be looking for other people. We took April 1st because every year that passed would just make them bigger fools. "
That made me smile
Very touching.the search for someone to love.
Seems like that is ultimately what everyone here is looking for.
