What About the Men? Why Our Gender System Sucks for Men, Too

[William769]

If you are anything like us, you spent some time when you were younger playing with optical illusions: the vase that, if you looked at it differently, was two faces; the fish that were also birds; the old woman who was also a young lady.

If you were reading this in a book in a bookstore, and some malicious person had not moved it into the Local Birdwatching category, it would almost certainly be next to some other books about gender. (Yes, this is related.) Look at the other books, and you’d find they have one thing in common—they’re almost all about women. Women and work. Women and body image. Women and race. Women and sex. Women and feminism.

You’d think that only women have a gender.

For a long time, we’ve only been able to see half the illusion—we see the birds, but not the fish; the vases, but not the faces. We’ve noticed the thousands of ways, big and small, that our current gender system wounds women. Rarely, however, and often only as an afterthought does anyone remark on how the current gender system harms men.

http://www.alternet.org/story/156194/what_about_the_men_why_our_gender_system_sucks_for_men_too?akid=9046.225459.5UWsCt&rd=1&t=2

[Smarmie Doofus]

1. It's a long friggin' article and I'm ony half-way thru but: +1000 for posting it.

Of course it sucks for men. And the suckage never... or rarely..... gets talked about or even acknowledged.

You can't fix, or even improve, what is not acknowledged.

[libodem]

2. If I knew how to actually work the magic

Of the internet I'd cross post this to the men's group and to the Feminist group. The 9 pages are discussion worthy.

This is a thought provoking and informative piece. Who knew about the, what was it, kiarchy?

[Smarmie Doofus]

4. ".... it becomes impossible to come up with something stupid and sexist about one gender.....

>>>The moment one looks beyond the surface, it becomes impossible to come up with something stupid and sexist about one gender that doesn’t link directly to something stupid and sexist about another gender.>>>>


My favorite snippet so far in this excellent.... but lengthy... analysis. I'm almost done. (It's been how many days?) Here's more:





>>>One of the central principles we’ve come to recognize is that, in the binary-gender thinking of most culture, sexist stereotypes always come paired. Generally speaking, any stereotype or assumption about women carries with it an implicit stereotype or assumption about men, and vice versa.

Men have to be the breadwinners… women have to take care of the family.

Men are all slobs… women should be keeping house.

Women need to cover up their bodies or they’re asking to be raped… men are animals who commit immediate rape at the sight of cleavage.

Women shouldn’t feel desire for men… men can’t be desired by women.

Men always want sex… women never want sex.

Men don’t cry… women are hysterical.

Men don’t need emotional support… women need constant emotional support.

Women are expected to know how to take care of children… men can’t be expected to even know how to change a diaper.

Men who put on makeup are gay… women who don’t put on makeup are dykes.

Women are all golddiggers… men are only valuable for their success and money.

Women are only valuable for their looks… men are all shallow.

You can sit all day and come up with sexist tropes about men and women and pair them up. The moment one looks beyond the surface, it becomes impossible to come up with something stupid and sexist about one gender that doesn’t link directly to something stupid and sexist about another gender.

Based on this, we have proposed a rule of thumb called Ozy’s Law: It is impossible to form a stereotype about either of the two primary genders without simultaneously forming a concurrent and complementary stereotype about the other.

Or, more simply: Misandry mirrors misogyny.

This isn’t to say that in any given case, the misandry and misogyny are necessarily equivalent. Sometimes they are, other times one or the other definitely predominates. But they’re always paired. Often they’re just an unspoken assumption, something people take for granted as axiomatic, which is why it’s so difficult to notice the trend.>>>

[beyurslf]

5. This was great. Thank you for sharing.

I wasn't sure what to think from the title but knew it would not be some whiny why-do-they-always-hate-men diatribes that are so common. I am glad I took the time to read it.