Lesbian Myths, Debunked

[xchrom]

http://www.alternet.org/gender/lesbian-myths



For a gay woman, it can often be a struggle to determine where exactly she fits in the spectrum of gender identity in both the lesbian and heterosexual communities. Many lesbians are faced with having their sexuality evaluated purely on the basis of their looks, as if sexuality is something that can be “seen” on the body to warrant approval, while others are not “accepted” for failing to act in a certain way. Such narrow-minded, misguided stereotypes create numerous social problems in advancing gay rights and raise an important question of what gender identity means for lesbians today.

According to mental health counselor Tara Lombardo, of the LGBT psychotherapy center, Institute for Human Identity (IHI), gender stereotypes about lesbians are merely an extension of “internalized homophobia.” In other words, the LGBT community has adopted society’s standard of what it means to be straight or gay based on the only model it knows—heterosexual relationships. In essence, it has had to borrow from this prototype.

“For lesbians, representation appears to be 'owned' by heterosexual attitudes that personify what lesbians are and are not, and this is related to women’s sexuality being invisible and based on attraction. A lot of femininity is based on the male gaze. If you remove the male perspective, you have to figure out the female gaze and at this point we still don’t know what exactly that is in the gay community. It has been a long trek for lesbians to come out and work out where they identify within these pre-determined social scripts that exist,” Lombardo explained to AlterNet.

A growing body of social science research suggests that the proliferation of gay marriage is redefining the way we view gender and specifically gender roles within family life. According to Liza Mundy in her recent article, “The Gay Guided to Wedded Bliss,” research has shown that same-sex unions are happier than heterosexual marriages, with lesbian couples experiencing the most intimate relationships compared with their heterosexual and male gay counterparts.

[Smarmie Doofus]

1. Ouch.

>>>In other words, the LGBT community has adopted society’s standard of what it means to be straight or gay based on the only model it knows—heterosexual relationships. >>>

[William769]

2. I don't know If I agree with this unless I'm reading it wrong.

I always thought and felt that Lesbian relationships were stronger than Gay relationships in general in our community.

I know that I know more Lesbians in longer term relationships as compared to Gay relationships.

Also in my circle of friends throughout my life Lesbians have always been the stronger of the two.

Or you could just tell me I'm off my rocker & took the whole OP wrong (it wouldn't be the first time, and it's safe to assume it won't be the last).

[xchrom]

3. I think articles are just pretty good jumping off

Points for conversation.

[Lex]

4. "A lot of femininity is based on the male gaze."

It seems like when that is removed ("what will men think of me?&quot , it allows women to be more fully themselves or at least more comfortable with themselves.