Don't know if this is the right place for this...

[De Leonist]

Hi all,

Please excuse me if this may not be the right place but perhaps some of ya'll can help me with a bit of a problem. I don't really know how to address this issue of orientation I have. Maybe this a futile effort on my part but seeing as the people with in the LGBT community can at the very least relate to living with an orientation that is not "the norm" I'm hoping that maybe some here can help me formulate a better conception of my orientation. A few things I think I should say here. First, I'm a High-Functioning Autistic and I don't doubt this the source behind it. But that doesn't bring me any closer to accurately describing it. Second, just for clarification I'm not gay. Not because I harbor anything against it but it's just not my thing. I've tried kissing guys and I've tried becoming aroused to guy on guy porn. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch, zero. However, I don't deny a certain appreciation of Transwomen(Just to clarify I don't mean this in the sense of Fetishism or to imply that being attracted to Transwomen makes one Gay). Whether their post-op, pre-op or non-op. I've always found the symbolism of male converting to female highly fascinating. In it's own way it's almost a sort of Alchemy. But I'm getting off topic here.

I find myself with the question "Just where do I fall on the spectrum of human sexuality?" I'm straight...ish, I think. While I find women physically attractive in a sexual sense the physical attraction itself doesn't drive me the way it does other straight people. I've had some suggest that I'm Asexual but that doesn't fit either. While I admit it's not very high on my list of priorities I do place some value on sex.
It's Intellectual attraction that seems to cause me to want to form close and intimate relationships with people, whether those relationships be platonic or romantic. I've heard of a classification called saepiosexuality (I hope I spelled that right) which means a person is attracted to intelligence. Well as stated that does seem to be part of the equation for me but again there is something missing here and I don't really know how to term it. Whenever I try to describe just what exactly my orientation is I get stuck at this point and it bothers me to no end because I know there is more to it than that. What's more I know I'm not the only one who experience their own sexuality in this way. I guess what I am really asking for is help in understanding different orientations on the human sexual spectrum so that maybe I can finally bring clarity to my own situation.

Again sorry if this the wrong place.

[TygrBright]

1. You taught me something new! Thanks!!

I hadn't heard it described before: Saepiosexuality.

But yeah, I knew about it, I guess I have it, too, in some degree.

For me it's never been about bodies, although I can be aroused by most types of arousal-targeting physiological images and sensations. But "arousal" and "attraction" are not synonymous, any more than "arousal" and "volition" are.

And it's always been very difficult for me to understand why some particular physiological criterion automatically makes someone NOT attractive. As in "Oh, nice looking, but yanno, he's got a penis, so no way am I attracted to him." Or ditto w/ a vagina. I don't get that, other than that my culture says it's "supposed" to matter. And a "normal" (insert horselaugh here) individual with one particular set of physiological and genetic characteristics is "supposed" to find those same characteristics in another individual to be a sexual turn-off.

Intellectually I know that stuff. But of all the people I've found "sexy" and/or attractive, the shape of their genitalia or their chromosomal map has been the least relevant thing about them.

I just hope I live to see the day when it doesn't matter, legally or socially, what your own naughty bits are shaped like, what chromosomes you came with, and/orwhat you find sexy in another human being.

Until then I pretty much go by "bonobo" as the description of my own sexuality. You can use it, if you want.

I don't think there's an "official" word.

Maybe a sort of generic "queer?"

uncertainly,
Bright