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theHandpuppet

(19,964 posts)
Fri Jul 25, 2014, 09:44 PM Jul 2014

Why I知 Still a Butch Lesbian

Very interesting article on gender identity and sex-based stereotypes. I'd recommend reading the comments to the article as well.

Slate Magazine
25 July 2014
Why I’m Still a Butch Lesbian
By Vanessa Vitiello Urquhart

I first began wearing men's clothing a few years ago, because I thought that looking like a lesbian might help me get girls. Once I'd started, I realized almost immediately that I was feeling far more comfortable and confident and that I liked the way I looked in the mirror for the first time in my life. Other people who knew me said I looked more natural, more like my clothing fit my personality. It felt a bit like I'd been wearing an uncomfortable, ill-fitting costume all my life.

As I adjusted to this new information, it was hard not to notice that many of the people who shared my preference for the men's section and my subtly masculine mannerisms had gone a step further and stopped identifying as women entirely. At times, it almost seemed as if, by not throwing my lot in with these pronoun creators and binary-rejecters, I might be just a little bit behind the times—a little square, uncool, perhaps even cis-sexist. Facebook has more than 50 possible gender indentifiers. So why have I, a female-bodied person who wears men's clothing, decided to stick with the increasingly old-fashioned “butch lesbian woman”?

In part, it's because the language of gender identity has always been a bit bewildering to me—I've felt hungry, happy, gassy, and anxious, but never male or female. Even so, it has been tempting to interpret my experience in ways that separated it from that of other women. This is especially true because cis-gendered women have a distinct tendency to define themselves in ways that don't include me. I hear women throw out things like, “As women, we all know how important it is to feel pretty,” or “We, as women, are naturally more tender and nurturing,” statements that never seem to include women like me. Not only do I dislike feeling pretty and prefer arguing to nurturing, I don't even particularly like eating chocolate. Popular culture, and women themselves, often imply that I lack many of the most essential qualities of womanhood.

So in the past I've been quite tempted by the idea that perhaps I'm not a woman after all. I mean, I'm masculine in all sorts of ways—I am ambitious, logical, aggressive, strong, and highly competitive. And I'm certainly not silly, frivolous, dainty, weak, or overly emotional ... Oh dear. That's where I run into a major problem, isn't it? When I start listing traits of mine that I'd call masculine, they're always positive. They're points of pride. Whereas when I list traits I lack that I'd call feminine, they're negatives. It seems I can't consider my own masculinity or lack of femininity without relying on some of the worst and most pernicious sex-based stereotypes. This suggests to me that the enterprise itself is suspect....

MORE at http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/07/25/a_butch_lesbian_rejects_a_non_binary_identity.html

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Why I知 Still a Butch Lesbian (Original Post) theHandpuppet Jul 2014 OP
and yet, as a femme lesbian, irisblue Jul 2014 #1
Kick and Rec..... esp for the "comments". n/t Smarmie Doofus Jul 2014 #2

irisblue

(32,829 posts)
1. and yet, as a femme lesbian,
Sat Jul 26, 2014, 10:44 PM
Jul 2014

I'll turn around to make sure you are checking my smile and strut out. I am ambitious, logical, competitive, persistent, and determined......those are human traits... look back, a femme or two might be smiling at you. think bigger.

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