LGBT

left-of-center2012

(34,195 posts) Mon Oct 30, 2017, 06:49 PM Oct 2017

Being gay is a choice ?

Actor Kevin Spacey today, in his 'sort of apology'
for attempting to molest a 14 year old boy years ago,
said that he now chooses to live as a gay man.

I get what he tried to say:
that he's had relationships with men and women over the years,
but now he 'chooses' to live as a gay man.

It just sounded wrong.

I never had to choose between 'John' or 'Joanie'. (I always knew I liked 'John')

8 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Being gay is a choice ? (Original Post) left-of-center2012 Oct 2017 OP

i think he meant what he said. unblock Oct 2017 #1

No! Chasstev365 Oct 2017 #2

I have a couple of friends that are bi; DonViejo Oct 2017 #3

Here's my own case. Odoreida Oct 2017 #4

I don't know left-of-center2012 Oct 2017 #5

You're two years older than me. Odoreida Nov 2017 #6

I have the impression everyone is younger. left-of-center2012 Nov 2017 #7

I do too Beautiful NM Nov 2017 #8

unblock

(52,196 posts)

1. i think he meant what he said.

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Mon Oct 30, 2017, 07:03 PM

Oct 2017

he didn't say he had a choice in *being* gay, but he did have a choice in how to live his life.

gay people can choose to live a life of denial. it's not the life that a compassionate and open society would want to push anyone into, so there's societal pressure (coercion, really) involved; but given those societal pressures, gay people do have a choice, to live in denial, to live in the closet, or to live openly gay.

i think that's the "choice" he's talking about.

Chasstev365

(5,191 posts)

2. No!

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Mon Oct 30, 2017, 07:08 PM

Oct 2017

DonViejo

(60,536 posts)

3. I have a couple of friends that are bi;

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Mon Oct 30, 2017, 07:20 PM

Oct 2017

if they are dating someone of their same gender, describe it the same, "I choose to be gay/lesbian right now."

Odoreida

(1,549 posts)

4. Here's my own case.

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Original post)

Tue Oct 31, 2017, 08:41 PM

Oct 2017

I am an older man, 100% out and 100% gay.

But when I was in my twenties, I tried to "straighten myself out" with women.

Did I "choose to be gay" when I stopped kidding myself?

left-of-center2012

(34,195 posts)

5. I don't know

Reply to Odoreida (Reply #4)

Tue Oct 31, 2017, 09:00 PM

Oct 2017

For me it was more of 'accepting' who I am/was,
rather than a choice.

Curious what you mean by saying you are 'an older man'.
I'm 71.

Odoreida

(1,549 posts)

6. You're two years older than me.

Reply to left-of-center2012 (Reply #5)

Wed Nov 1, 2017, 06:29 AM

Nov 2017

I wasn't addressing you in particular, I just get the impression that most of the people around here are much younger than us.

Not sure why I have that impression now that I think of it.

left-of-center2012

(34,195 posts)

7. I have the impression everyone is younger.

Reply to Odoreida (Reply #6)

Wed Nov 1, 2017, 09:45 AM

Nov 2017

Beautiful NM

(22 posts)

8. I do too

Reply to Odoreida (Reply #6)

Wed Nov 1, 2017, 06:43 PM

Nov 2017

but being 70 I think that might be correct. I rejected the closet life at 25, 45 years ago. Things were a bit different in 1972 but I was enjoying life as I was meant to. If K. Spacey had come out when he was younger he would not be in the situation he is in today.

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