So they wanted to "mend fences"

[IngridsLittleAngel]

So over the last 24 hours or so, things have gone from tense to downright hostile here at DU over Chappelle and his "special"... Now, at the risk of getting meta, I've spoken up and pushed back.

As someone in the LGBTQ community, I am SICK and fucking TIRED of being told how I should feel about what I see as bigotry against OUR community. When I am in here in DU - in what is supposed to be a safe space, and I am being told "get over it", "calm the fuck down", "can't you take a joke?!", or a variation of those statements, I feel attacked by people who claim to be supportive of me and my cause. Even if someone is of another minority group, it doesn't mean they don't posses MAJORITY status in another area, as Chappelle does, since he is straight and a cissy. We are allowed to criticize anyone and call out their bigotry, and not have it be dependent on other factors! It is claimed he is "punching up", but that is NOT possible! He is NOT trans, he is NOT gay, so he isn't punching up just because some trans and gay people are white, he is PUNCHING DOWN as a privileged MAJORITY, straight and cis!

You wanna punch up?! Punch the police. Punch a corporation. Punch the government. In the immortal words of the Dead Kennedys: PUNCH A BANK IF YOU GOT REAL BALLS!!

When I am in what is supposed to be a liberal and progressive space, I shouldn't feel like I am at a GOP fundraiser? People should be aware of their biases and re-examine their privileges, and that includes HETEROSEXUAL and CISGENDER privilege. It is time to stop "talking at us" and take the time "to listen to us"!

But they tell us to listen, while gagging us.

Fuck the straightsplaining and cissplaining. We are speaking, so, when do they listen? 10+ years now of wanting to mend fences, yet we get "Lady G" and "Bruce" Jenner and "Chappelle speaks about biology". We have been willing to mend fences, yet it's one step forward, four steps back. What I've seen over the last few weeks has gone beyond speaking up for Chappelle - they too have punched down.

I wish I knew when it would stop. Because so many don't get how much weight their words carry, or how much it hurts us.

I'd scream "Be best", but, that's been tainted.. So when will they just be better?

[AZSkiffyGeek]

1. There is a TERF contingent here and they get away with impunity

I dunno if others don't care, or if they genuinely don't understand why the comments are offensive. But I've seen so many glaringly obvious transphobic posts that evaded juries. It's sad.

[IngridsLittleAngel]

2. Yes there is

And right now, they are as subtle as a nuclear bomb. And I've had it. They're ranting and raving about "biology" - the same fucking words as Margarine Traitor Grease... The very same words. And does anyone care? Nope. So this community is supposed to have their back, while they act like Proud Boys toward us....

You listening, EarlG? I know I'm preaching to the choir here in LGBT, but.. Maybe you'll see it, maybe you'll listen... Time for DU to be better.

[Dalton555]

4. anti-LGBTQ sentiment has targeted me here

I don't spend a lot of time at DU because several major people here attacked me with anti-gay and anti-trans stuff. It's really sad and weird.

[Skittles]

18. did you alert on them

that ain't right, not a all.....very sorry you have to deal with that

[IngridsLittleAngel]

21. Many of us have...

It seems to rarely get the offending posts removed, if ever.

[Skittles]

24. put them on Ignore

fuck them

[MuseRider]

3. You should NEVER

have to put up with that here. NEVER. Women get it too but they are particularly sure they are allowed to say these things to you.

What I do not get is how they do not get this? If they spend their time here they should KNOW how not to speak or think or talk to others no matter who they are.

I am sorry you had to deal with that and all the other things. I rarely even look at threads about comedian controversies because they never stop and you can never win.

[IngridsLittleAngel]

6. We have been. We all have been..

It's been weeks of "quit whining" and "don't be so sensitive" over Chappelle.. Weeks.. Some of us have crawled into a corner.. Others have yelled.. And yet, day after day.. Chappelle speaks, we need to get over it..

Now it's gotten to the point of "Biology facts are not hate speech" and "What makes a trans woman a woman?" It's hit full-on TERF and Qanon and OANN.. "Beat Trump!"... For what? To see it here?

You ever hear the story of Rod Smart?

He looked over to the opponents' sideline.. "He hate me..." Then looked toward his own coach.. "He hate me too"

So right now, DU's LGBTQ community is here....



We've all been dealing with it lately.. And it's why I've had enough and posted this.

DU? Be better.

[MuseRider]

8. I am so sorry to see this.

I have not seen the threads and am gobsmacked that it is that bad. It should not be here at all. People have been pulling sides a lot recently, it seems the nature of our sick society is to forget all we have accomplished for equality and just speak our feelings. If our feelings are that you are not with me I can say whatever I want to hurt you. I win and you lose. It is sickening. It makes me uncomfortable and I am cis and straight so I can only imagine how you feel. I will report these things when I run into them but I have not seen any of it for a long time. I do not venture too far though so that is why apparently.

[AllaN01Bear]

5. i quit . what is cis

also what is trf? clueless here .

[Grokenstein]

10. CIS and TERF

The most familiar acronym is TERF. From Wikipedia:

TERF is an acronym for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. First recorded in 2008, the term originally applied to the minority of feminists espousing sentiments that other feminists considered transphobic, such as the rejection of the assertion that trans women are women, the exclusion of trans women from women's spaces, and opposition to transgender rights legislation. The meaning has since expanded to refer more broadly to people with trans-exclusionary views who may have no involvement with radical feminism.

And as for CIS:

Cisgender (sometimes cissexual, or shortened to CIS) describes a person whose gender identity is the same as their sex assigned at birth. The word cisgender is the antonym of transgender. The prefix cis- is not an acronym or abbreviation of another word; it is derived from Latin meaning "on this side of."

[Skittles]

17. no need to quit

simply educate yourself, well, like you just did

[Permanut]

7. Thanks for posting, IngridsLittleAngel..

This 75 year old white male still has a lot to learn about diversity. Posts like this help us to be better people.

[pazzyanne]

13. + 1 nt

[IngridsLittleAngel]

22. You're welcome

And you have no idea how much your reply means. It means at least one person read it and gets it, and that is one step toward making things better... for everyone.

[MLAA]

9. Keep speaking up IngridsLittleAngel.

And when I see it I will speak up louder.

[Wild blueberry]

11. Thank you

[PurgedVoter]

12. Sadly, this is not a Liberal or Progressive space.

This is a Democratic Party space. A lot of us here are what we mean by liberal and progressive, but the originators of those political designations would not recognize our version of them.
As someone who votes for the best chance of having compassionate and caring people run the country, my vote is automatically going to be Democratic Party but a lot of the Democratic Party is just beginning to catch up. We were led by the DLC not that long ago.

I am someone who thinks that compassionate people are in fact more sensible, reliable, honest, logical and creative. I also think that love takes more bravery than hatred does. That is my basis but I am not the one that decides what the Democratic Party's basis is. Instead, I must and will always have to, defend the side of compassion. This is sad, because right now, I feel hurt by a lot that is going on and I am lashing out and not living up to my own standards.

It will be a constant fight to defend compassion in politics. As Republicans get tired of the lies and join us, they will bring with them tolerance of racism and intolerance for the other. They will bring with them a slew of issues. We will need to educate them and bring them up to speed. We will need to nurse their wounds. A lot of them do not know that you are on their side since they are in denial about what their side might really be.

The fight for understanding is well past ancient. Do not believe for a moment that you will ever in your life have a safe place. If you fight with compassion, understanding and raw truth, you may at the end of your life be able to look back and see that you made the spaces you dwelt in safer for those who followed you. That is about all that I think you can expect. Every one of us must face the lack of understanding of others and we should regret the lack of understanding that we hold onto.

[pazzyanne]

14. Excellent post!

Civil discussion is how we learn and grow. Here is a canoe analogy from 40+ years ago that has stuck with me to this very day.

"A grandmother, speaking with her angry grandson, "You have a choice to stand in you canoe and beat the water with your paddle, or you can sit down, pick a destination, and use you paddle to get you to where you want to be."

Wise words from a wise woman.

[Eko]

15. Ill tell you exactly how you should feel about it

however you want to. Ive got your back on this but the quote from the Dead Kennedy's was like a cherry on top of everything else you said. Bravo.
Eko.

[vercetti2021]

16. They don't understand how we feel

Because they don't live like us so they can't possibly know how we feel and should feel. As someone who is transgender. I believe I do not matter much here anyways. Reason I stopped doing my DU lounge daily nightly threads about oreos. People are just so negative especially on trans people

[Behind the Aegis]

19. Because it has to be said...

Link to tweet

[IngridsLittleAngel]

23. I follow Lynda on Facebook...

Last year, she posted a picture and talked about "when she played Wonder Woman on TV". I replied and said "No. You didn't play Wonder Woman. You are Wonder Woman." And it's tweets like this, and how much she has done to speak up for the LGBTQ community, and how much she pushed back against TFG, that make me believe that.

Thank you, Lynda. And thank you for sharing that tweet, BTA.

[EarlG]

20. FWIW

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100215969127

[uriel1972]

25. I haven't been on DU lately...

Busy trying to put my life back together. Not surprised at all, sorry to say. Those of us not cis and straight aren't just a minority, we are marginalized and hated on all side.

We just aren't normal enough and our existence threatens deeply held cultural views left, right and centre. We are the 'OTHER' that they fear out of all proportion to our power and presence.

Most of us just want to live our lives safely and if at all possible comfortably in obscurity. However, our existence alone threatens them, so we are hounded and hunted, and if we dare show our face, or speak up in our defense we are immediately set upon and called 'Activists' and much worse.

Sadly I have no easy answers and little hope for the near or medium future. I doubt I will see acceptance in my lifetime. Maybe if the planet still supports humanity in 100 years we can show our true face in public, maybe.