HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Topics » Health » Addiction & Recovery (Group) » My 24 year old daughter i...

Tue Apr 30, 2013, 09:25 PM

My 24 year old daughter is home, withdrawing from heroin.

She's been in the city for 6 years, going to school and working part time. We've been supporting her. She earned her degree in environmental science last year and has been "looking" for full time work ever since. I've been giving her money for a while, and have known deep down that there was something wrong. I'd put $100 in her account, and the next day she would ask for money. I'd refuse, but always give in. Her friends were sleazy and I knew that too. They were mostly flopping at her place, which happens to be a one bedroom condo we own.
We brought her home, she's supposed to start a full time job tomorrow but is sick as a dog with withdrawal. She has suboxone that she got from one of her friends and has used it before when she didn't have access to heroin, which she smokes. She has enough for three days, then she thinks she'll be clean and ok and ready to tackle her new full time job (which she did part time in high school).
I have nothing more to say, this is new to me.. I've had my own addictions, but this is new.

33 replies, 5015 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 33 replies Author Time Post
Reply My 24 year old daughter is home, withdrawing from heroin. (Original post)
mountain grammy Apr 2013 OP
nebenaube Apr 2013 #1
NYC_SKP Apr 2013 #2
mountain grammy Apr 2013 #3
libodem May 2013 #4
mountain grammy May 2013 #5
libodem May 2013 #6
NMDemDist2 May 2013 #7
mountain grammy May 2013 #8
NMDemDist2 May 2013 #9
mountain grammy May 2013 #10
angelabice May 2013 #11
hrmjustin May 2013 #12
mntleo2 May 2013 #13
mountain grammy May 2013 #14
NMDemDist2 May 2013 #15
Stuart G May 2013 #16
mountain grammy May 2013 #17
Stuart G May 2013 #18
NMDemDist2 May 2013 #19
ismnotwasm May 2013 #21
mountain grammy May 2013 #22
mntleo2 May 2013 #20
Stuart G May 2013 #23
mountain grammy Jun 2013 #28
mountain grammy Jun 2013 #27
mntleo2 Jun 2013 #31
mountain grammy Jun 2013 #32
Taverner May 2013 #24
mountain grammy Jun 2013 #25
Taverner Jun 2013 #26
mountain grammy Jun 2013 #29
Taverner Jun 2013 #30
mountain grammy Jun 2013 #33

Response to mountain grammy (Original post)

Tue Apr 30, 2013, 09:28 PM

1. wean

 

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Original post)

Tue Apr 30, 2013, 09:29 PM

2. My heart goes out to you both.

 

Please get multiple opinions from people who know and care and who are trustworthy.

I don't think three days of treatment will make anyone "clean and ok", but I hope that whatever you all do will work in time.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to NYC_SKP (Reply #2)

Tue Apr 30, 2013, 09:31 PM

3. I don't think so either, and it scares me.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Original post)

Wed May 1, 2013, 12:16 AM

4. My understanding is that it is like a

Really bad case of flu. Everything that has been suppressed wakes back up and goes into gear. Narcotics put your tummy and bowels to sleep,too. So my understanding is belly cramps and diarrhea, shakes, sweating, chilling.
I worked in a detox center, but we are small time in this state thank god, we mostly had alcoholics. The one heroin case was shipped to us from, Texas, by his family. We had meds and a protocol to follow.
My second experience was watching, Train Spotting, the movie. One of the characters, goes home to withdraw, from Heroin. He buys several cans of chicken noodle soup, and something liquid, maybe tea or soda? He expected to be sick about three days and not to be able to leave the house.
When I took a college course on substance abuse, the professor said addicts kick down, all the time, go thru withdrawal, to spend less and need less, but they work back up, again.
It can be done. Alcohol detox is worse. She'll be sick but you can treat the symptoms. Keep her hydrated if she can keep anything down. She needs to know she can do it. Fighting the fear is the biggest obstacle. She'll be okay.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to libodem (Reply #4)

Wed May 1, 2013, 09:17 AM

5. Thank you. You've made me feel a lot better.

two days now and her symptoms are much like the flu. She's drinking plenty of water, and today, I might be able to get her to drink some soup.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #5)

Wed May 1, 2013, 09:23 AM

6. Good on ya

This has to be tough.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #5)

Fri May 3, 2013, 05:04 PM

7. glad she's doing better but watch out

for that suboxone stuff.

it's just trading one addiction for another and i've heard horror stories about it

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to NMDemDist2 (Reply #7)

Fri May 3, 2013, 06:00 PM

8. I have too, and am quite concerned. She says she's taking 1/2 strip 2x a day.

This is her 4th day and her second day going to work. She's happy and seems like her old self, but I can't believe anything that comes out of her mouth. It'll take me a long time to trust her again. She says she only has 3 strips of suboxone left, so three days. She's aware of it being addictive.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #8)

Fri May 3, 2013, 06:14 PM

9. she should be ok then.

i've kicked herion a few times and it's no biggie compared to alcohol.

but she'll have to watch her drinking, one good buzz and there's a 'why not?' attitude about getting high on drugs again.

hope she's planning on attending meetings of some sort to help her deal with the life stuff.

and alanon isn't a bad idea for you either :-0

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to NMDemDist2 (Reply #9)

Fri May 3, 2013, 06:40 PM

10. Me too. I'm strongly encouraging her to do that.

If it wasn't for a new job (for her) and her dad, who thinks getting her home and to work will remove her from the environment and all will be well, I'd put her in rehab.
As for removing her from the environment: her first two days were bad and all she had were three suboxone strips, so she checked her bank account, made a call, and that night 4 more strips were delivered.. just that quick. 100 mile from the city and her old environment. I was furious, but it was suboxone, I checked what she got, but just how fishy does this sound? I've taken her ATM card away and will take every paycheck, but I'm afraid she's not as motivated as I'd wish.
As for Alanon, yeah I hear you. I'll need support if I ever get to the point when I'll have to just cut her loose. Thank God she's smart enough to not get pregnant, for now at least. `

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Original post)

Tue May 7, 2013, 02:57 PM

11. lets pray

let her pray to whatever situation she finds herself into

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to angelabice (Reply #11)

Fri May 10, 2013, 12:21 AM

12. Welcome to DU my friend!

 

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Original post)

Sat May 18, 2013, 11:40 PM

13. My son is also a heroin addict ...

...at this time he is in jail and clean but soon he will get out and I am worried he will go back to it if he does not find meetings or somewhere he can find other recovery people. He has had his friends since jr hi (he is 25 now) and almost all of them are using so these are the only ppl he knows. The couple friends who don't use are his true friends but they are pretty frustrated with him. I guess I will just pray as this is all I have
Cat in Seattle

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mntleo2 (Reply #13)

Sun May 19, 2013, 09:08 AM

14. My daughter is still home and still clean (I think)

We've pretty much taken control of her money.. no money, no drugs.
I honestly don't believe all answers are found through prayer. Four years ago, my 21 year old nephew committed suicide. He'd been on and off drugs and in trouble. The family prayed and prayed.. these are devout people. I will never believe you can igonore all your problems by praying. You have to be involved as much as you can.
My daughter appears to be recovering, but I worry everytime she's out of my sight and not at work and would feel a lot better if she got into a program. I'll keep working on that and am getting into a group myself to learn how.
All the best to you and your son. There are many people here who have given me good advice and hope. I hope this group can do the same for you.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #14)

Sun May 19, 2013, 02:30 PM

15. heard in the rooms

if you're hungry, locked in the closet, no amount of prayer will cause God to shove a hot dog through the keyhole. You have to take action for God to bring you what you need.


so yes, pray, DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING IN FRONT OF YOU, and then leave the results to God.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to NMDemDist2 (Reply #15)

Mon May 20, 2013, 06:29 PM

16. I agree.

It is very hard, but..NMDemDist2 is correct.."DO THE NEXT RIGHT THING IN FRONT OF YOU...

whatever that may be..you will know

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to NMDemDist2 (Reply #15)

Mon May 20, 2013, 06:55 PM

17. I have no problem with people believing in the power of prayer

but it's not for me. I've see too many bad things happen to good people and history is full of the suffering and dying of innocents. Did they not pray hard enough? How does a baby pray when being tortured and murdered?
I've begun to think of it as almost sacregligious to presume that prayer heals some but not others, or wins football games, or will control the inhumanity of man.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #17)

Mon May 20, 2013, 07:06 PM

18. ....you define prayer.........no prayer police....nope...

Some say that deep prayer did this...or that...Some say it was the kindness in the rooms that did this or that..my view ...just my view..is that it is deeply personal feeling.. and that my HP is not a provider or a gift giver, or a life taker awayer.
.but that is up to me, and it is up to you too................all spiritual stuff,,,and prayer stuff is ultimately up to you. Your view is your view..


page 47 of the Big Book of AA...

"When therefore we speak to you of God, it is your own conception of God." "This applies too to other spiritual expressions you find in this book."

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_bigbook_chapt4.pdf

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #17)

Mon May 20, 2013, 07:39 PM

19. i have no religion

but the Big Book is very clear.

I pray ONLY for the knowledge of God's will for me and the power to carry it out.

I don't pray for patience, for other people (except that they be blessed-whatever that may mean) or to win the lottery. There are bad people out there who do bad things. so i just keep it simple. Do the next right thing, even if it's hard. Be open to options the universe puts in front of me and try to choose the one that benefits all involved.

Your mileage may vary

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #17)

Tue May 28, 2013, 05:00 PM

21. You know what really helps?

And why 12 steps programs work? We'll set aside the prayer thing for now----what helps is helping others, getting out of your own head and Sharing your experience with someone else.

If a heron addict with a few weeks clean and a little light at the end of the tunnel can give hope to someone with no hope, that helps--a lot

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to ismnotwasm (Reply #21)

Tue May 28, 2013, 10:33 PM

22. Exactly. My daughter and I have been talking about 12 step programs

and group meetings. But you are so right about why these programs are so good. They work because the participants have to work.
Thank you for your comment. I read your last sentence to her and I can tell she's thinking about it.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mntleo2 (Reply #13)

Tue May 28, 2013, 10:20 AM

20. I am pretty mad at God anyways, lol

...not only about my son, but about many other things. As a lifelong church attendee, I have given up on going anymore. Like some god gives a crap about the likes of my son ~ or me. I meant by "all I had" was prayer" that it is about the flimsiest of "protections", because as it is often said about heroin, "you never see an old heroin addict" and I fear for him so much with little to do to protect him.

As for knowing what to do, I have *no* clue what to do. This week my son got out of jail and is back home. I am beyond scared he will go back to his use. The penal system completely ignored his addiction issues and instead are concentrating on the law violations he did ~ that they all know he did to keep up his habit. I was completely open with the court about my concerns and they just pretended this was not the issue.

I do somewhat understand the law and why this was so ~ as well as the seriousness of admitting the drug issue as far as the rest of his life is considered (no ability to secure student grants, background checks for work and housing, etc), but I am still baffled as to the fact that everybody knows why these things occurred yet are not directly addressing them. If they truly want this behavior to stop, then why not address them? At this time there is no direct drug charge that would be on his record and unless I am not understanding something about The System, records, and such, then why not?

At any rate, I am beyond putting ANY trust in prayer. Seems to me that it is a placebo that does not work, however this is all that is left when there seems not to be any other things to do with an adult who I have no way to control.

Cat in Seattle

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mntleo2 (Reply #20)

Wed May 29, 2013, 06:42 PM

23. What is prayer?...ask what to what?..

No prayer police.
you decide what prayer is.
......yes there are those who tell you what to pray and do...I can't go there.
..perhaps a quiet thought about a peaceful place..
..maybe that is a prayer. maybe....
... To me, it is help and kindness of others, and maybe some wisdom that I was open to hearing..
If all AA were rules and prayers the way someone said they should be..
..then I would not be here typing this. I suppose that I would not be here in life at all. Many of us in AA go another way. That is ok..too..best of luck..
..for now, and always..

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Stuart G (Reply #23)

Sat Jun 1, 2013, 12:37 AM

28. Thanks, Stuart G, nice thoughts.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mntleo2 (Reply #20)

Sat Jun 1, 2013, 12:35 AM

27. How old is your son? My heart goes out to you..

I've never been one for prayer or religion. We attended church for my daughter, but gave it up along the way.
If it helps people, I'm all for it, it's just not for me.
Drug issues aren't addressed because junkies aren't a big voting block. No one cares about them except their families and some of the sainted volunteers who work with them. Programs should be free and easily accessible. I have learned more about heroin than I ever wanted to know and you're right, there are no old addicts. It's terrifying.
Good luck to you and your son.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #27)

Wed Jun 5, 2013, 10:21 AM

31. He is 25 years old ...

...he is also having seizures, which I am sure were related to his use. As with you, I have learned way more about heroin that I ever wanted to know He also told me he has done crack and who knows what else?

A few days ago he had a seizure in a store and they took him to the emergency room. He had to have stitches in the back of his head because he hit a shelf before he hit the floor. He swore he was not on anything, but I do think this scared him even more because somewhere along the line, now he is going to have to admit whatever he has done to himself has now made permanent brain damage.

I am wondering what will hit us next. I told him how precious he is and that he could have a good future if he cleans up, but he thinks he can do it all alone when he needs help. Like I said, all that is left is some lame prayer that does little except maybe make ME feel better, which to be honest doesn't do much because all it seems to be is a bunch of empty words bouncing off the ceiling.

Thanks for asking, it is good to come here and know I am not alone. I know what you mean about addicts not being a voting block and how the System seems to ignore the issues.

I live in one of the highest income areas in my state and the locals say the epidemic is rampant here with teens. But the high schools actually HIDE the use from parents and pretend the child is "out of control" or worse just pretend the behavior is "other things" because they are afraid to admit how bad it is in their schools. Parents are then hit in the gut when their kids get into trouble (usually when they are over 18 when the truth comes out). Some parents I know whose daughter was admitted to the hospital gave birth to a son when she did not even know she was pregnant and worse ~ the baby was also addicted and spent a long time in the hospital in withdrawal. She does not know who the father is because some f-ing adult used her for sex services to johns while giving her a fancy car and lots of "goodies" so she would "give services". This was a kid with straight As who had all the support she would ever need and on the fast track to college before she even graduated from high school. Now the grandparents are raising the child but they had to fight the State because CPS and other personnel get lots of money for taking the kid. They were determined to take the baby and adopt him out since he is a beautiful white little boy that would fetch a pretty penny in the adoptive process. If the grandparents did not have rich relatives and connections to the highest places, they would have lost this child to the System too. They do not even know where the mother is at this time who spends her time out on the street and working "McJobs" while living with other addicts. She appears and then disappears at will. At this time all the promise she had is not panning out for her or her son as far as her involvement in his life or her own once-promising future.

This is not a rare story, it is happening all over my community. All the authorities do is become punitive and pretend whatever crimes that are committed are *not* related to that terrible habit. I wish we could just legalize it so addicts would not have to hit little old ladies over the heads for their purses and that addicts would be able to go get their fix like they do in Europe ~ and better yet get help.

I am just glad you guys are here! I am going nuts trying to figure out how to deal with all this as are other family members who love my son (like his 2 brothers and his dad who agonize over it too). We have become open about the use and try not to condemn him although sometimes it is hard when your gas money comes up missing or something in the house is taken to be pawned. I am low income and do not have much to steal so it hurts the household if it happens, although I have learned to take precautions and not have money or expensive things around or easily available.

Often the advice is to throw the kid out of our lives, but all I have seen with that "solution" is that the user finds other ways to use and worse, they end up dead, raped, used and become "users" of people themselves, it seems to make the situation worse. It seems to me that to do that is giving the message that all they are is a piece of s**t and it only enforces the low self esteem and hopelessness that comes along with addiction. Many recovered addicts tell me that if they had not had their families they would not have made it, so I do not see this as helping except to get the person out of YOUR life for your own relief. While I do understand this relief, I also do not think that real love should be like that. Real love is always there and while it has to be firm and have limits, that love is something that needs to be transmitted to the user so they know somewhere in their addled brains that they always have hope.

But that is my take. The truth is it is hard for the non-users and so it is something that challenges every fiber of your being. Thanks for being there, I do have a great deal of appreciation for this group!

Love, Cat in Seattle

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mntleo2 (Reply #31)

Wed Jun 5, 2013, 10:53 AM

32. My daughter is almost 25 and managed to earn her college degree

but spent the last year since graduation working a low paying part time job and smoking heroin. Never had any money. Lived in a small condo we own in the city and, like a fool, I kept paying the bills.
She's home now, working full time and I'm still trying to talk her into finding a group.
Your post was heartbreaking. What do we do? I can't throw my kid out on the streets, but won't buy her drugs anymore either.
We just try to let her know how much we love her and what a good future she could have.
We've tried to keep it positive but she knows it will take us some time to trust her again.
This group has given me a lot of support, good solid advice and experiences that I don't have.

To you, Cat in Seattle, I send love and hope for you, your son and your family.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Original post)

Fri May 31, 2013, 09:15 PM

24. I feel her pain - I've gone off lots of opiates

 

Kratom worked for me, but then you get hooked on that

Kratom is easier to quit tho...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Taverner (Reply #24)

Sat Jun 1, 2013, 12:26 AM

25. Thank you. She seems to be doing ok.. working everyday. Just not happy with the company she keeps.

For now, I think she's clean.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #25)

Sat Jun 1, 2013, 12:31 AM

26. Battling the cravings will be the toughest part

 

Can you get her into (don't laugh) lifting weights?

Essentially, your body produces a morphine analogue when you lift weights and do exercise?

Saved Iggy Pop....

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Taverner (Reply #26)

Sat Jun 1, 2013, 12:40 AM

29. Thanks, good suggestion. She's been laying around a lot when not at work

which concerns me. Time to get her moving.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #29)

Sat Jun 1, 2013, 12:41 AM

30. Don't push her too hard tho

 

Little goes a long way at first - and stretching will definitely release some endorphins!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Taverner (Reply #30)

Wed Jun 5, 2013, 10:55 AM

33. thank you. We have offered to walk anywhere with her

might save all our lives.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread