Staying clean&sober&emotionally honest no matter what.

[irisblue]

Hi I'm Irisblue...I am looking for experience, strength and hope and positive energy&joy from this room; today I moved my ex partners' things out of my house. Please tell me how to stay sober/clean no matter what (can't think of the al-alnon term at this minute-stressed and weepy).Edited to add, you can PM me with any ESH, and yes, I've already been to a meeting, while her friends packed the truck, and I will go to another one tonight. This hurts, we we're planning on growing old together

[Ilsa]

1. oh, sweetie,

:

I'm so sorry you are having to do this. Hang in there. I don't have advice, just warm thoughts to send your way.

[NMDemDist2]

2. these are the times the phrase

"God could do for us what we could not do for ourselves" usually comes into play.

I'm so sorry for your pain.

It will lessen. it will get better. right now your just get through it without using. a second at a time, a minute at a time, an hour at a time.

just get through it.

[Old Codger]

3. So sorry

I am so sorry to hear of your problem, you are doing things that help. Use the serenity prayer, go to as many meetings as you can as soon as you can, if you have a sponsor call him/her and talk to them. Do not be alone if at all possible, family, friends,anyone other than alone...

It hurts a lot and seems like it may never be better but it will be and it will change you, make you stronger.

I have found over the many years (29)of struggle I have gone through with my addictions that usually in the large percentage of the cases whatever happens has a reason and quite often opens a door to a better more fulfilling life experience ..

So take care of your needs as they arise, keep from being alone as much as possible and keep eyes wide open for the brighter side of life, it does exist..And it does get better.

[tavalon]

4. I went through this about 10 months ago

Unfortunately, he remains in my life because we share childcare duties. The pain I felt last December and well into April was breathtakingly awful. I believed as well that we were "til death do us part". I was wrong. For me, it began getting better, coincidentally when I broke my shoulder. You would think having more time to think would make it worse, but I really accelerated in the healing, probably because I started physical therapy and they had me working out hard. I still work out really hard and really consistently. I don't recommend breaking any bones, yours or others, but I can recommend the exercise, even if it's just a brisk walk a day. It helped me.

I took things down to "one minute at a time". I didn't allow myself my usual DOC but did allow a little less than perfect behavior, like watching too much Netflix and crappy Netflix at that. I allowed myself to play a really dumb video game that allowed me moments of not feeling. But as I felt I could, I felt. I screamed, I cried, I moaned with the pain. So many tears, so many longings, so much anger. And I went to a therapist. Religiously. I stopped this summer but realized that I needed to get back so I just made an appointment.

I'm over him but I know I'm not over the trauma. Why? Because I've embraced, tightly, the idea that I want to remain single for the last few decades of life (I just turned 50. Mr. Wonderful didn't even remember it was my Birthday). I think I really do want that, but until I can say it comfortably without noticing that I have concrete boundaries around it, I don't think I'm well yet. It hasn't been a year yet, so I don't see why I would be all better, right?

There's my SESH. I hope it helps. This is an awful time for you. Let it be awful but please try not to let it be an excuse. You deserve better.