I stopped drinking on July 3, 2012

[libnnc]

But I've never been to a meeting, and I've never really worked the steps. I had two slips, I guess, since then (smoked pot for the first time two years ago--really, really stupid, made me sick as a dog), and had one non-alcoholic beer in January. I don't know if I'm doing this right. Should I be going to meetings? I still get antsy around party-social situations where there's alcohol. My SO still drinks and most of our friends drink. I don't know why I'm posting this or what answers I'm looking for...

[Journeyman]

1. I quit drinking September 25, 1987, and attend meetings semi-regularly . . .

I've never worked the Steps, never had a sponsor, never followed all the rules. The support of the group, the camaraderie, the socializing, the advice -- these are important to me, both for having seen me through the initial few years of not drinking, and for sustaining me through the decades of sobriety.

The vast majority of my time has been spent with one meeting. These are my friends. And we've seen each other through life's joys and sorrows, and most of those I got sober with are now long dead. Yet I enjoy the company of the new men, offer what support and advice as I can (though I never sponsor -- wouldn't feel right, having never been in such a relationship, and more because no one's ever asked me), and I relish the variety of experiences I engage with among the diverse group who join our meeting.

Sobriety has given me most everything I have in life today. The meetings have given me what I detail above.

My brother quit drinking, attended a handful of meetings, found they were not for him, and never returned -- to the meetings or drink. My best friend quit as well, went to a few meetings but found them boring, and never went back -- to either meetings or drink. He loves an occasional near-beer (though he says who named it that was a terrible judge of distance). Both have been sober for just a few years less than I.

So there are all sorts of experiences. And paths. AA isn't the only direction. There are alternate ways to a clear mind.

Some people thrive in the meetings. They find the Steps enlightening, the camaraderie sustaining, and the advice they receive both pertinent and useful. Others can't stand what they perceive as the rigidity or the spiritual straightjacket. You have to find a situation which works for you. I've enjoyed the meeting I've attended all these years because it has always been very accommodating to different attitudes and beliefs, and because spirituality has always been treated as a highly personal matter, not something to use as a club against anyone to force them to accept a particular frame of mind.

You need to find what works for you and no one can dictate what that path may be. I wish you all the best. Quitting drinking was one of the hardest addictions I ever broke. Not the most difficult -- that was and remains smoking, which I quit January 5, 1986.

Best of good fortunes, libnnc. It is a difficult road you're on but it gets easier with time and the rewards are immeasurable.

[applegrove]

2. Go for a few months and do the steps. I handed any control over

alcohol I thought I had to a higher power and that really clicked for me. Have not had any alcohol since. I do on occasion have a non alcohol beer. I have no desire for the real thing. I admitted I had no control and never will. It is no longer within me to drink. And I don't covet real alcohol when I am with people who have a drink. My higher power is ancestors and nature. That works for me. 12 steps really worked for me and took my quit to the next level. I would go and see if it works for you. And it does not have to be every step. It might even be some advice you get from another member. You only need to find one thing that really sticks to give you a strong quit. If you find more than twelve things that is even better.

[Old Codger]

3. Best advice

If that is what you are really looking for is to go to some meetings... Meet some people who have been there and are attempting to head in the same direction you are... Every AA meeting is somewhat different, go to several different groups until you find one that feels right for you, might take several different meetings and may have to go to each one more than once to get a real feel for the group... GO and Listen even if you cannot talk..

AA has some basic steps that work for almost everyone who is willing to follow them... Having said that you will find that there are more than one way to take the steps and more than one order to take them in.... The basic plan is laid out for you to follow if you so choose...

I had my last drink on March 24th 1984 at 5:10 PM I have lived without alcohol in my life one day at a time for 31 years now ,I go to meetings whenever I feel a need to reconnect with my purpose, sometimes often sometimes not so often...AA works and works well for the majority of people who are ready for AA..

[Rhiannon12866]

4. What helped me most was finding a sponsor

I still go to meetings, 90 meetings in 90 days was my sponsor's first suggestion for me. I needed to learn tools to keep me from drinking and I couldn't do it alone. I still go to meetings on a regular basis, never know when I'm going to hear something that's helpful and the support I get from others I've gotten to know helps a great deal, too.

But the most important reason for finding a sponsor to guide you through the program is that you can't work the steps alone. And working the steps really is the program, a guide for successfully living a life without alcohol.

Lots of folks on DU reject AA for one reason or another. Some don't like that God is mentioned at some meetings, others see it as a religious program. I'm not religious, have found meetings that work for me. They say "take what you want and leave the rest." I accept whatever might work for someone else, but I had to experience lots of different meetings and hear enough experiences to find what works for me.

What worked the best was learning that I only had to quit drinking One Day at a Time. That's when I started putting time together. I celebrated six years sober last month. Since I've been sober, I have attended events where there's alcohol, but I have to go back to Step 1 to prepare for that kind of thing. Given the choice, I avoid it.

I recommend AA to learn how to give up alcohol for the long haul and to find the tools that are on offer that work the best for you. Good luck and let us know how you are...