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Thu Mar 29, 2018, 10:12 AM

90 in 90

I had been sober since 2001 from booze. 2 years ago started messing around with pills and 12 days ago I began the clean/sober journey again, and planned a 90 in 90.

Last night I was ill; I'm prone to migraines and I got a doozy last night. No way I could drive to or sit at a meeting. Called up my sponsor and said "Well, I will just hit an extra meeting on Saturday so I can stay on track for my 90 in 90."

He told me that a 90 in 90 REQUIRES at LEAST one meeting a day and if I want to claim I did it, I have to start from one again today. I disagreed, and am carrying a slight resentment about it.

Thoughts?

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 11 replies Author Time Post
Reply 90 in 90 (Original post)
TommyCelt Mar 2018 OP
CelticWinter Mar 2018 #1
TommyCelt Mar 2018 #3
CelticWinter Mar 2018 #4
PJMcK Mar 2018 #2
HopeAgain Mar 2018 #5
yallerdawg Mar 2018 #6
JDC Mar 2018 #7
irisblue Mar 2018 #8
Rhiannon12866 Mar 2018 #9
Permanut Mar 2018 #10
cally May 2018 #11

Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 10:15 AM

1. you can look at it this way

you only lost 12 days, its not like you were on day 89 and have to start all over again.
Celtic

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Response to CelticWinter (Reply #1)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 10:19 AM

3. Nope

I quote W; it's fuzzy math.

If I go through 90 days and within those days I hit 90 meetings - regardless of what days they fall upon - that's a 90 in 90.

Not going to lose any sleep over it though. What matters is I haven't used in 12 days and will get to a meeting this evening, no?

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Response to TommyCelt (Reply #3)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 10:26 AM

4. thats a good way of looking at it nt

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Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 10:19 AM

2. How about this?

Don't use today.

"To thine own self be true."

Only you know what is in your heart.

Peace.

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Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 10:37 AM

5. Work on the resentment would be my suggestion...

Try going any lengths... some sponsors ask people to do things that may or may not be necessary to keep them sober. But for me, the program brought a change in my thinking in the form of willingness and acceptance. If it works, great, if it doesn't contribute your sobriety, you learn willingness and that contributes to your sobriety.

Remember your sponsor is trying to help you for your sake, he's already sober. I had to stop second guessing because as they say, my best thinking is what made me have to go to meetings in the first place.

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Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 10:41 AM

6. The concept of '90 in 90' is also about 100% commitment.

For many addicts, the slippery slope starts with hedging just a little bit, compromising here and then there.

I get your sponsor's position. Only wants the best for you.

We get confident when we "lick" the disease. I stopped drinking and drugging. Cigarettes? Piece of cake, anytime I want.

When did I quit smoking? 30 years later, after a heart attack, couple stents, and a doctor and all the staff confirming over and over that "just one more cigarette can kill you." You'd be surprised - or maybe not - how many smokers I know who came out of heart attacks who heard these same words - and still smoke.

"Addiction is cunning, baffling and powerful."

Good luck! Everyone finds their own way!

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Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 11:02 AM

7. I did 90 in 90 when I finally really did get sober

There is no official 90 in 90 program. In fact, I have worked with many since then that perhaps overdo it by attending way too many meetings in a 90 day period. I was one of them. I attended way more than 90 meetings in a 90 day period. I missed a day here or there due to work and/or travel. I've seen guys get burned out or become too involved in the program and let it take over their life. You shouldn't go from being a slave to substance to a slave to a program. Every program is about balance and getting right with the world and your life.

He/she is your sponsor, talk to them about it rather than harbor a resentment. I guess they are right in that math dictates you need at least 1 meeting a day in 90 days to get to the 90 in 90, but if you do 2 on one day because you are too sick the day before, you still have 2 meetings in 2 days.

Also, there are online meetings that use chat, so if you are in a pinch, you might check one of those out.

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Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 11:24 AM

8. You think you can talk this out with your sponsor?

I had to fire one when she told me that taking the depression meds wasn't with the program.
Talk it out, get clear on why the sponsor said that.
Congrats on a clean & sober yesterday. Keep on today.

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Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 12:33 PM

9. My sponsor "suggested" I do that, too

And she actually took me to not just AA, but several other "A's" in the beginning - and those counted. I know one woman who regularly listens to meetings over the phone and there are also online meetings as well. As long as you make a connection, that's what counts, IMO. And it only takes two to make a meeting...

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Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Thu Mar 29, 2018, 06:15 PM

10. There is no "90 in 90" requirement in the big book..

Furthermore, resentment can bring you down, can jeopardize your journey in sobriety. What matters is where your head is at today. This from a 23 year sober AA member; my go-to is always the serenity prayer.

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Response to TommyCelt (Original post)

Mon May 28, 2018, 11:17 PM

11. Different sponsors say different things

My sponsor almost always tells me to pray about it and see what my gut tells me and to help a newcomer and then call her. It always works on the resentment.

Btw, I do 90 and 90 occasionally when Iím having tough times. I donít count just consecutive days but any recovery meetings and online meetings.

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