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Fri Mar 15, 2019, 11:14 PM

About going to meetings...one idea only..."Don't Give Up" That is it, and that is the secret.

Last edited Fri Mar 15, 2019, 11:58 PM - Edit history (1)

..People go to meetings, and don't like them. So they give up. Ok..But they come back. That is what happened to me. Yes, I went to a meeting and didn't like it. Too much God talk, too much holding hands and a prayer at the end..So, I decided this wasn't for me. It was Overeaters Anonymous..and I didn't need them cause I was going to loose and control the weight and my eating on my own...So I did...Summer 1979
..That summer I lost and kept off about 20 pounds..and kept it off for a while. I was exercising and thinking I got that licked. That was what I was thinking. So, I had the summer off, (taught high school) and when school started in September, I was fit and trim. But the pressure built again, (as it always did) and I gained back the 20 plus another 25. So by the next summer, in June, I decided to give OA another try. Went to a different meeting, a little closer to where I lived. I weighed about 215 pounds. It was June 1980. I felt more comfortable for some reason, and a few days later, I got a call asking if I had a any questions. I said no, and ..........................
.......I kept coming back, and back..and back..So in a couple of years, I lost about 55 to 60 pounds, and kept it off for 37 years. I have been at or close to a normal weight since 1982...(about 160 pounds)
...In 2006, I had another case of depression. On and off, and on and off...depression etc, etc...I was taking an anti anxiety medicine that was related to valium. (clonopin) It wasn't valium but it was a "benzo"...I had read that the benzos increase depression and in some cases cause it. Yes, it calmed me down, and I kept the weight off, but I was in a daze..So, after reading about it, and talking to people..I started going to AA in June 2006..Keep in mind, I had been going to OA for over 25 year at that point, so I knew the 12 steps, but AA was different.
...On October 31, 2006 I went off the benzos for good. Withdrawal was terrible, and I did not go into rehab. But I made it and have been going to AA since 2006, and often I also go to OA. What is the point?..These meetings saved my life. Not only the help and kindness of the people, but following the steps and some of the sayings.."One Day at a Time" "Keep it Simple" "This too shall pass" and so on.

Don't give up. Keep going to this meeting or that meeting. Find people you feel comfortable with. Some meetings are more comfortable than others. Also, some people like more structure, so some are more structured than others. It is up to the meeting goer, to discover what works best for him or her. Just don't give up. I weigh about 160 and haven't had a drink or bezo since October 31, 2006. The program saved my life. Yes, there is more, but that is enough for today. Yes, I have been here and over there. After 2 or three years in OA, I threw away the scale and haven't owned one since 1984. I know approximately what I weigh, and again OA and AA saved my life.
...Thanks for reading this,..and please, give another meeting a try. OK?...........Stuart G.

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Reply About going to meetings...one idea only..."Don't Give Up" That is it, and that is the secret. (Original post)
Stuart G Mar 2019 OP
Marie Marie Mar 2019 #1
JDC Mar 2019 #2
MontanaMama Mar 2019 #3
Rhiannon12866 Mar 2019 #4
jxla Apr 2019 #5
progree Apr 2019 #6
Iggo Apr 2019 #7

Response to Stuart G (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 11:17 PM

1. Congratulations on your success. Keep working whatever works for you.

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Response to Stuart G (Original post)

Fri Mar 15, 2019, 11:55 PM

2. The problem with people who stop going to meetings is

They don't get to hear about what happens to people who stop going to meetings.

My Dad has been sober a long time, when I tried for a long time to stop unsuccessfully, he kept encouraging me to never give up. It really was his only message to me. It helped.

I attend regularly, in state and when I travel out of for work. Over the years I've gotten to really know people from all over the country as a result. Good people.

Congrats on finding what you needed and thanks for sharing about it.

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Response to Stuart G (Original post)

Sat Mar 16, 2019, 12:01 AM

3. I appreciate your message Stuart G.

My meetings were for adult children of alcoholics. Anorexia took me there at the suggestion of my psychologist. Anorexia that landed me in the hospital twice by the time I was 24. Anorexia that I almost succumbed to but didnít. I went to the meeting because I wanted to show my therapist that I didnít need any stinking meeting or anybody else for that matter. Anorexics often thrive on the high of not needing anything from anybody. I walked my 80 pound badass self into that meeting and hated it. It was at that meeting that somone challenged me in a way that Iíd never been challenged. I kept going back for a couple of years and kept going to therapy and I got a better handle on my life and how to separate from my folks. It was a long slow slog. I go back to therapy ever couple years for a year or two and then get back to living. Iím back in it now and have been since the election in 2016. I donít go to the meetings anymore...my parents are long gone but those relationships and interactions from those I got to know at the meetings changed me and my perspective on what it means to belong to a group of people who can help each other through intense pain, longing, hardship and shame with no judgement...people who are willing to lean into all of that. 30 years later, Iím grateful for where I was and where I am. Some days it is still a battle. Some days Iím cruising....like anybody else I guess.

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Response to MontanaMama (Reply #3)

Sat Mar 16, 2019, 01:46 AM

4. I also go to ACOA

Adult Children of Alcoholics (and dysfunctional families). I also go regularly to AA meetings, have since 2008, though some of us at ACOA are also alcoholics, others are not. And some had alcoholic parents, others simply came from dysfunctional households. And in my particular group, most of us are older and no longer dealing with these issues on a daily basis - but we still live with the repercussions and deal with them there.

I also attended OA when I first got sober. My sponsor had overeating issues, so initially she took me to all kinds of meetings that she found the most helpful. And though my problem wasn't overeating, when I drank I didn't eat, lost a dangerous amount of weight so I did have eating issues, too.

I've also gone to outside therapy, many of us have. But I've always found it helpful to meet and listen to those who are dealing with or have dealt with similar issues. In AA, we call it "sober support," but the same principle holds for other 12-step programs. And, following my sponsor's lead, I now make the effort to give back what was so freely given to me. I'll be celebrating my 10-year sobriety date next month, but I keep going back because I still need to give it way to keep it.

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Response to Stuart G (Original post)

Thu Apr 18, 2019, 06:31 PM

5. "A Reason to Fight" live

&feature=youtu.be&eml=2019April18%2F4609394%2F6010907&etsubid=67356915

Original video - full song

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Response to Stuart G (Original post)

Thu Apr 18, 2019, 11:12 PM

6. I'm sorry, but I didn't find it was working for me after awhile --

Last edited Sun Apr 21, 2019, 09:44 AM - Edit history (2)

we are not all the same, and each of us is just as right or wrong in deciding what is best for ourselves as anybody else.

I increasingly felt that a program based on endless proselytization about a prayer-answering favor-dispensing deity was just not helpful to me. How could people believe that some cosmic loving Santa Claus is looking out for wealthy American alcoholics while millions of children starve? (I'm sorry, but that was the kind of obtuseness that I heard at most meetings).

Your meetings may have been entirely different, and thank goodness. I've noticed that there is an enormous difference between meetings locally and regionally, based on what's been described to me, and my limited experience outside of Twin Cities meetings.

But that's just me. Its up to each of us to decide -- what kind of meetings -- secular or deity-spiritualism or not -- ativan or not -- prozac or not -- etc.

Each of us is free and welcome and encouraged to share what works for each of us. Its just that when some particular path is pushed on me as being the only right way or the only way that works -- that's when my hackles get hackled up. Especially when it involves some deity that is some errand boy doing favors for wealthy American alcoholics while millions starve.


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Response to Stuart G (Original post)

Fri Apr 19, 2019, 11:52 PM

7. That's what I used to tell people, back when I went to meetings.

The secret's on the back of the Welcome chip.

Still true.

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