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Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:24 PM

BIG,FRICKING HUGE HURDLE

hit me this morning,, my niece texted me and let me know that they were holding a bday party for my brother on Jan 4 because he will be 60yo. She implied how our parents need to see the 3 sons all together because they are old. I talked to Mrs K, said Im too new into not drinking to be in that position. So this went down, years ago I would have went and done it..hands down. Today I emailed my Mother,because when I called her ,she was out shopping. And I said " I can't ,too many traps" she emailed and pushed about the 3 of us and our families all being together again. I just said " I cant" Then a light went in my head,,and I called both my brothers,and niece and said " I cant,this is why" and then I told both my brothers about Mom's concerns and said " I agree with her,,we need to do this,,but in a more controlled situation" Miracles of miracles! they both agreed! and we will start working on that after the new year for Mom. I stood up today,,where I wouldn't have before. I called,,not texted, and explained. Even Mom tonight when I finally got her on phone agrees. I think my psyche will be proud when I see her Friday,, I know Mrs K is right now! Whether you all know it or not, you all are part of my support group too, simply because I can type these thoughts out.
thanks for listening.
Koz

14 replies, 669 views

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Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply BIG,FRICKING HUGE HURDLE (Original post)
kozar Dec 17 OP
dewsgirl Dec 17 #1
kozar Dec 17 #7
irisblue Dec 17 #11
elleng Dec 17 #2
samnsara Dec 17 #3
kozar Dec 17 #4
JDC Dec 17 #5
Karadeniz Dec 17 #6
SWBTATTReg Dec 17 #8
kozar Dec 17 #9
marble falls Dec 17 #10
littlemissmartypants Dec 18 #12
JDC Jan 1 #13
kozar Jan 2 #14

Response to kozar (Original post)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:27 PM

1. ...

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Response to dewsgirl (Reply #1)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:38 PM

7. return of group hugz nt

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Response to kozar (Reply #7)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:55 PM

11. Yeah this👆👆👆👆👆

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:29 PM

2. GREAT GREAT news, Koz!!!

'Miracles of miracles! they both agreed! and we will start working on that after the new year for Mom. I stood up today.'

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:29 PM

3. wow thats great!!!!! Congrats and you have a great supportive family!

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Response to samnsara (Reply #3)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:31 PM

4. they weren't always supportive,

which makes today big for me,,I stood up,,now they support, it was a step for me.. ty for the gratz

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:35 PM

5. Honesty with yourself and others is what it's all about

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:38 PM

6. Proud of you! Easy to give in to temptation...you took the more courageous route!❤

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:40 PM

8. Good for you. This is a group effort by all to help you in your time of need. I remember...

when my alcoholic brother and sister got together at family gatherings, it wasn't a good thing. Exposing them to the drinking was the last thing they needed and yet, my Mom still demanded that all show up. Ridiculous and despite what she cajoled and demanded, I wouldn't support the gatherings because of this potential to damage their efforts to control their drinking. Sad and selfish on Mom's part...

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Response to SWBTATTReg (Reply #8)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:46 PM

9. funny how they

all say whatever you need,or what do you need from us? until you are honest and stand up... IO am sorry for what you wen tthrough with your brother and sister, I am thankful that when I stood up,,my family and Mother,,understood and agreed.

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Tue Dec 17, 2019, 07:48 PM

10. Told ya, we're all here sharing your victory. Life is good on DU!

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Wed Dec 18, 2019, 06:31 PM

12. Well done, kozar! ❤

The holidays are hard enough. I am so proud of you for forging you own path!

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Response to kozar (Original post)

Wed Jan 1, 2020, 07:41 PM

13. How is this working out?

Still Feeling ok about the idea of a "controlled" get together? Everyone else still on board?

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Response to JDC (Reply #13)

Thu Jan 2, 2020, 11:19 AM

14. ty JDC

It is actually working out pretty well. I had phone calls from all on Christmas Day,,no pressure,they all understood. and ,brothers and I are talking regularly again. Younger Bro even tossed a couple "L" words my way, which is amazing in itself. Im not sure it would be at this point if I had not taken "control" of it.

Thank you so much for checking in,,

Koz

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