Addiction & Recovery
Related: About this forumHow do people feel about interventions?
My family did one on me about 5 1/2 years ago. I've been clean since then with no relapses. But for the longest time my attitude was, "You guys made me quit. It wasn't my decision." And I resented it. I finally got over it and now realize it's for the better in so many respects. But I think if I had made the decision myself. I would have gotten over it a lot sooner.
Even now, I'll check on the level in the vodka bottle, or look at an empty bottle of wine and say to myself, "Oh sure, it's okay for you to drink , but I can't." Eventually I'll get over that as well. Change doesn't happen overnight.
Thoughts?
brewens
(15,359 posts)binges. I called it alcoholic for a week. I'd get drunk a few times and as soon as I had a bad enough hangover I was cured again. I didn't see much harm in that.
I'm cut off now because I'm on Celexa an antidepressant. No drinking on this shit. The getting drunk part is okay but it gave me diarrhea and the sweats for two days. I don't want to find out what drinking a few days in-a-row would do.
The funny thing is they prescribe this stuff for alcoholism too. That's not why I'm on it but it seems to have eliminated my urge to drink. I'm way overdue and had my 45th high school reunion last weekend. If anything was gonna make me try drinking again on this stuff that would be it. Nope. Wasn't even tempted.
bif
(24,062 posts)brewens
(15,359 posts)the criteria, but doctors prescribe Celexa for alcoholism. Maybe a doc will suggest that some day if you decide you need more help?
I've been sober for 5 1/2 years and really never think about drinking.
MLAA
(18,633 posts)to get her. She was not capable of doing laundry for clean clothes, packing a suitcase and getting on a plane. I couldnt go get her myself because my husband requires care at home. Anyway, had I not gotten her flown to our home, lined up a rehab center, then after her first day telling her she could not leave and come back to our home like she wanted to until she finished the program. I told her I would get her a ticket home and help her to the airport. I risked her hating me or holding a grudge forever. I thought it well risk the work if she could get clean. She completed the 60 day program (I spent 1/2 day every Saturday there participating/supporting for the 2 months). As far as I know she has been sober for 4 years and I give her full credit for her success but Im pretty sure she would either be dead or in a nursing home had I not intervened to get her started.
My only regret is that I didnt realize how bad off she was 6 months or a year earlier.
Sending you hugs!
RainCaster
(11,573 posts)I do not blame them at all. I needed it. It must have been very difficult for them, and I appreciate the love and patience they have shown as I have fought my way back to sobriety. One of these days I will thank them for it.
applegrove
(123,295 posts)Last edited Thu Jul 25, 2024, 03:09 PM - Edit history (19)
for 4 years. Then I began to drink one or two beers at a restaurant and no more. I did that for two years. Maybe two times a week. I only drank near beer at home. Had a crisis where I drank for a few days. I was going through a very stressful/painful situation all along (being targetted by evil people). Those few days I drank I was in a dire situation. Quit.
Then after 5 years, I allowed myself I drink a day and I was obsessed with it. I would plan all day what that drink would be. I should have quit then. I binge drank 3 times all totalled during that period. The rest of the time i had one drink.This lasted 8 months or so. The last time I drove drunk. I hit a fence and not anybody else thank God. Quit for good.
Went to AA. I was thankful my family didn't abandon me or make me pay for the car i totalled. The third chapter in the AA book, where you hand your power away to a god (in my case nature and my ancestors), because in fact you have no power over alcohol, and it worked. It spoke to me. And so did the judge who insisted I go to AA. And my relief at not hurting anyone.
I like going out with people who have a few drinks. They get so sweet and I enjoy the sweetness.
Your family loved you, cared enough to know you, and may have saved your life. Be thankful for that. And try AA. It works for lots of people. The little book goes into what worked for many, many people and hopefully you'll find something in that mash-up of experiences that speaks to you.
As to interventions, my brother lived in Japan for 30+ years. He liked to go out with the expats and drink. He met a lovely lady there and stopped going out so much.with the boys. They adored each other. When he would come home to Canada to visit he would drink moderately. Often not at all. So he was quite in denial about his health and during covid when he was isolated from his girlfriend (they lived in different cities in Japan, their relationship was in flux) he was drinking a lot. And we didn't know. And he was so sick. I burdened him with some of the facts of my trauma. That caused him more anxiety.
He emailed us and sounded stressed out and not coping well with covid and the online classes he was teaching but was on the other side of the world. He ended every email with I love you. One of the last times I talked with him by email about seeing a psychologist to deal with his anxiety, he was open to that and was planning on that, to get medication. I had no idea he was drinking anything at all - still.
That step to seeing a psychologist was probably accepting he had to quit because he would have been having symptoms in his gut that scared the hell out of him and it is well known psycholigists would ask him to quit drinking. He was probably terrified.
I thought he was in lockdown and had no access to going out. Then he died. He just bled out. Turns out he wasn't someone who presented as drunk when he drank to excess. His huge group of friends said that. His girlfriend said had they been together she would have stepped in but they were not. He wanted to drink. He did. He fooled himself. He was terrifyed. Then he died at 59. He would have had a two a beers a night in the 10 years he lived with his partner. He hid his bad health well.
That is my greatest regret that we did not intervene. He died an agonizing death. It took his workmates a few days to get worried when he was missing from the classes he taught. We were devastated. I wish we had taken the reigns and intervened! Neither my parents nor my grandparents were alcoholics so we had little experience with the issue.
After the first intervention for my drinking problem, there was an idea I read about that was from a doctor that said "alcoholism is when drinking causes serious problems in your life and you keep drinking".
My family we able to take care of me with the intervention. I take care of them with the things i have done and do. That is love and worth forgiveness. You would not want them to live with the regret of losing you. Interventions are care.
Hope that helps.
bif
(24,062 posts)Wow, you sure have been through a lot.
AA isn't for me but thanks for the suggestion. I do SMARt which is more in tune with my philosophy of life. If you've never heard of it, it's worth looking into. There are numerous paths to recovery and a bunch of organizations out there. Whatever works, is my attitude.
Take care!