HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Topics » Health » Addiction & Recovery (Group) » I need to get my son into...

Fri Apr 5, 2013, 07:03 PM

I need to get my son into rehab for Dilaudid addiction. Need some advice

He's 19 been addicted for 5-6 months - I just found out Monday. Lives at home with his Dad and me.
No, I didn't know he was using. Thought he was just a bum and pot head. silly me.
When caught he confessed everything and saying that he's glad I found out - that the guilt has been killing him.
He'd taken every narcotic in the house. My 5 year old bottle of Vicodin #90 tabs that I have been saving
for an emergency is gone along with his 2 guitars, an amp and a few hundred dollars I had in a drawer.
The last few days have been pretty rough on all of us.
Withdrawal (here at home) has been(surprisingly) pretty mild physically
- he had a couple of Xanax to help and I had a Valium
that he didn't find. He looks and sounds better today than he has in months.
So I got on the phone to get a rehab lined up and now they won't take him in a
residential program because he's clean.

Insurance will only pay for residential if he needs Detox.
They will pay for intensive outpatient therapy....
10 hrs a week and some of these places just take them to AA meetings as part of it.
What the Hell?

Any comments? suggestions?


14 replies, 3758 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply I need to get my son into rehab for Dilaudid addiction. Need some advice (Original post)
flying_wahini Apr 2013 OP
oldhippydude Apr 2013 #1
flying_wahini Apr 2013 #2
MichaelSoE Apr 2013 #4
NMDemDist2 Apr 2013 #3
flying_wahini Apr 2013 #5
Ilsa Apr 2013 #6
NMDemDist2 Apr 2013 #7
cally Apr 2013 #8
mountain grammy Apr 2013 #9
Stuart G May 2013 #12
mountain grammy May 2013 #13
Name removed May 2013 #10
libodem May 2013 #11
Taverner Jun 2013 #14

Response to flying_wahini (Original post)

Fri Apr 5, 2013, 07:16 PM

1. try Narcotics Anonymous

there are usually young people in recovery... professional services may be limited in some areas, as you are finding out with insurance coverage...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to oldhippydude (Reply #1)

Fri Apr 5, 2013, 07:39 PM

2. yeah, he thinks that he wants to go to a residential therapy which I want


But he really needs to be around young people his age.


Thanks.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Reply #2)

Fri Apr 5, 2013, 09:05 PM

4. just my own experience ... 12 step groups have had successes long before residential therapy

and I found I benefited more from the experience, knowledge and guidance of older people who had quite a few 24's under their belts. I understand the desire to be around people his own age ... they will be there at the meetings ... but it will most likely be the old timers who will be able to give him what he needs and not what he wants.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Original post)

Fri Apr 5, 2013, 07:45 PM

3. if he's willing to get some help an out patient treatment program should be OK

and Xanex isn't the answer for a narco addiction.

and there's nothing wrong with him hitting a few 12 step meetings. he may find something to help him STAY clean, not just get clean.

stopping is easy, STAYING stopped is the trick.

good luck! and I highly recommend Alanon for you, it will help you understand what you can and can't do for him.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Original post)

Fri Apr 5, 2013, 09:31 PM

5. thanks - I am looking for one now in our area


looks like there are several meeting around here.
Wish I could but I can't trust him to go on his own yet - guess I will take him there.
I have never been so I'm sure it will be interesting.
Will he have to say anything? Not sure that he would anyway.

He's kind of nervous about being out there about it.
Embarrassed and ashamed -
I'm still kind of pissed and angry and heartbroken that he
didn't come to me earlier about it. We've always been kind of close that way.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Reply #5)

Sat Apr 6, 2013, 12:47 AM

6. I just want to wish him and your family

good luck. I realize that this is the first big step. I hope it goes well. It sounds like there is a lot of love there.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Reply #5)

Sat Apr 6, 2013, 10:34 AM

7. he doesn't have to say anything

we keep chairs in the back for the newcomers. of course we know they are new by using the chairs in the back and a few of us should converge and welcome him. and if you are 'taking' him, go have coffee somewhere during the meeting. you can stay for the first one if you must but i'd strongly recommend you don't attend most meetings with him.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Original post)

Mon Apr 8, 2013, 10:42 PM

8. I think good non-residential treatment are as effective

as residential for getting and staying clean and sober for most folks. Tell your son to ask others at meetings for good young people meetings and phone numbers. Getting clean and staying clean is something he has to do himself with your understanding and support. I echo others saying that you should try to go to some alanon meetings to help you understand better.

By the way, it is an extremely bad idea to keep any medications in the house "as an emergency". You can help your son by getting rid of the alcohol and any prescription drugs that might be abused. It's hard in recovery to have easy access to addictive substances.



Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Original post)

Tue Apr 30, 2013, 09:42 PM

9. I have no answers, but am looking for some

Glad you kid got through withdrawal ok, my daughter is doing that now, here at home. I also wanted a residential treatment, but she wants to go to work, has a full time job waiting.
I looked at Narcotics anonymous and told my husband there were local meetings. We live in a rural area and she would know people for sure and my husband thinks it would just be where she could make a connection. I just think she will need real help to kick this. She's been smoking heroin on and off for a year or so.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to mountain grammy (Reply #9)

Sat May 4, 2013, 07:08 PM

12. Get your kid to meetings..she is not alone..please..

Now, I went thru it, withdrawal, without rehab..too stupid or stubborn or both..or just scared.. I was accepted at AA meetings and they may accept your daughter too. AA once didn't, but most of us are double addicted and it is ok. AA got me thru, and still sober and clean. Been thru hell the last 14 months, still haven't used that stuff, or had a drink. She will meet people she can make a connection with, and that is ok. If she feel more comfortable in NA, that is fine. MOre meetings and people the better. Oh, it wasn't easy and isn't easy. But if she chooses this path, in the long run, she will be ok. But she must honestly choose to get better. As I did. I wish you the best of luck and love..today, and everyday....

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Stuart G (Reply #12)

Sat May 4, 2013, 08:53 PM

13. Thank you for the advice. I will definitely work on that.

She's telling me she doesn't need it. This is something she needs to meet and deal with and I honestly think she needs help. To tell the truth, I don't think she's made the choice yet. Her dad and I have been enabling her, without really knowing (or wanting to know.) It's only been in the last couple of months that I've started to suspect something, and here we are.
I'll stick with and won't give up until I get her to a meeting.
Thank you for your very kind wishes, I wish the same for you as well.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Original post)


Response to flying_wahini (Original post)

Sat May 4, 2013, 12:18 PM

11. Go with the out patient

And NA meetings. I worked in a Detox center, with a 30 day program. The patients did their first 3 steps in group and then were encouraged to continue in AA or NA by themselves. Of course there was aftercare. I also worked in an adolescent treatment center. The peer pressure can be good or bad with whomever you hook up. That's for all programs and groups. The tendency to slip is a present danger.

My oldest son just lost his brother in law to a heroin overdose about two months ago. I met Jorge at Thanksgiving last year. Very handsome and polite. The family was very quiet about his being admitted for Detox.But I knew he was going in. He'd been clean maybe 4 months when he re-used, passed out in his vomit, and suffocated. His mother is still crying everyday. The juxtaposition is that my other son's brother in law, was in up state New York, going to med school and died in an avalanche skiing almost the same week. Both are equally tragic in my eyes. One son was not better or more important than the other in their mother's hearts, just because one graduated form Harvard.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to flying_wahini (Original post)

Thu Jun 6, 2013, 12:49 PM

14. May I suggest Kratom?

 

IT's a legal, very mild opiate (so much that it is actually an upper) that he can use to wean off dillys

One silver lining in this - dillys are safer than heroin. The heroin has all kinds of impurities (esp that black tar stuff) and at least with pharms he knows his dose and gets only the drug

Still not healthy tho

My heart goes out to you. I've kicked opiates several times.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread