I need some advice....

[Uben]

Carol is not eating. She puts in 500-600 calories a day. I keep trying to get her to eat, but she's just not hungry, even with the Marinol. I am getting her to do a little exercise, heavy on the little! She drinks about 335 calories worth of Ensure and nibbles a bit a couple of times a day. I haven't been in a situation like this. On one hand, I want to be sympathetic to her desires, but on the other, I want her to eat and get stronger. So, I remind her a lot she needs to eat, or she needs to walk. That doesn't go over too well. She feels I'm hounding her, and I guess I am. Watsafellertodo?

I'll cook or get her anything she wants, she just doesn't want anything. Should I just ease off or keep mentioning it? With another chemo scheduled for Tuesday morning, I want her to be as strong as she can be. She is going to have to take some dexamethasone before the chemo, and I hope that might stimulate her appetite, but I don't know much about it other than it's a steroid to help avoid allergic reactions to the Taxol.

This disease sure comes with challenges, doesn't it? I'm one of those guys who can fix anything with few tools and parts, but I can't fix this appetite thing. I know she feels stuffed all the time carrying the extra fluid in her abdomen, but you can't just not eat. She does complain about having indigestion a lot, but she doesn't vomit. I figure that's just a symptom of the disease or a SE from the chemo.

I'm to the point of looking into whether someone can give her nutrients via home-infusion. I'm definitely gonna ask her doc about it.

[cmd]

1. Same problem here

I'm also on Taxol and am not interested in eating. I'm sure I'm well under a 1000 cal. a day. Tonight I had mashed potatoes and gravy for supper and gave half of it to the dog. I just came down stairs and made myself a half of a peanut butter, celery and carrot sandwich. I feel stuffed. Exercise is the last thing to worry about. If my husband suggested that I walk a lap around the inside of our house, I would throw something at him. Going to the bathroom is plenty of exercise. I've been on chemo 12 days and have lost 13 pounds. Let Carol browse where food is concerned. She'll know when she can eat. This, too, will improve. Hang in there. cmd

[Uben]

2. Thank you

Okay, I'll lay off a bit. Right now, exercise consists of about 40 steps, to the bathroom and back to the sofa. Not much, but better than nothing, and it really does get her out of breath to do that. We do chemo in the morning, and although I know what to expect this time, it still scares me for her to have to go thru that again. She stays zonked on PKs a lot of the time, bless her heart, and can't think straight. Of course, we've been together so long, I usually know what she means when she says something kinda off the wall.

[Uben]

3. Downstairs?

Darn, that must be tough! We moved downstairs years ago. The master bedroom and bath are upstairs in our house, but her knees and my broken leg in 2005 pretty much nixed that. I have recovered fully, but her knees are still weak. So, we are staying in one of the downstairs bedroom. Not as big, but more convenient.

[cmd]

4. Yep. Downstairs.

All our bedrooms are up. The laundry is in the basement. That is the thing I hate the most. No one, sick or well, should have to tote laundry up two flights of stairs. My husband helps with that or we would never have clean clothes.

I forgot to mention the "burps". Chemo causes me to have a lot of air in my tummy. I think this is one of the reasons I'm not hungry and can't eat much when I do get hungry. I burp frequently and feel much better when I get that air out. I don't know if Carol has this problem, but it's a very uncomfortable feeling.

I just had a slice and a half of toast for breakfast. I couldn't finish the second slice. Meantime, I'm going back to bed. i'm worn out. cmd

[sinkingfeeling]

5. Get her some Scandishake mix at a drug store (or some grocery stores).

These were recommended for me during my radiation for oral cancer. Since one's throat is being fried by the radiation treatments, most people have a feeding tube, but I declined one. Scandi shakes come in vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry flavors. Each is about 600 calories. I lived on them and Ensure High Protein for 6 or 7 weeks.

[cynannmarie]

6. you are such a caring guy

Your wife is fortunate to have your care and devoted concern!

I had uterine cancer over a year ago--early stage so I did not need chemo, but had numerous complications and internal injuries from the initial radical surgery that resulted in many subsequent surgeries, tests, procedures and hospital admissions. During that 6 month period I lost 35 lbs from decreased appetite and frequent fasting required for the many procedures. My husband was worried and tried hard to get me to eat more, but I just couldn't manage very much. Since I did not have the chemo as a cause, I can't exactly address your wife's reaction from my experience, or offer many suggestions, but for me it was just a matter of eating very small but frequent meals, even if it wasn't as varied as my previous normal pattern. It seemed that I lived on toast and watermelon for months.

Additionally, a weird phenomenon happened during this time: I completely lost my taste/desire for chocolate (I had always been a chocoholic before). For months, even the thought or sight of chocolate was repellent.
But gradually, very slowly, the chocolate appeal returned, as did my most of my appetite--although I have not regained the weight at all.
However, I am very pleased with that outcome, as I had wanted to lose at least 20 lbs anyway. Dropping 4 sizes is not anything I can complain about, except that I had to buy a lot of new clothes!

I don't know if your wife can afford to lose much weight, but I do know from others in my cancer support group who have had chemo and its appetite impact, that appetite changes are usually temporary and patients get past them.

So--keep trying to find ways to help her, but also take cues from what she can and wants to do so that you don't pressure her too much either. Certainly it is worth talking to her doctor or oncology nurse about it. Best of luck to you both!

[pharmchemical]

7. Spam deleted by cyberswede (MIR Team)

[Tab]

8. I would lay off

It's not bad to encourage her to eat small things, but in my case, I really don't feel like eating. I know I should, but in the last week I've really had not more than some pretzels and small amounts of protein.

One problem with nausea is that certain foods make it worse, and then you don't want to eat, making it even worse. I find it easier to break the cycle by eating saltines or pretzels. After the acids in my stomach are absorbed, then I might be able to tackle some proteins or fats.