Another example of how you never know when it is 'your time' has flattened me.
A dear friend of mine - happy, healthy, married for 40 years, 3 sons, 2 granddaughters - just stopped living. No warning, no signs. Her heart simply stopped and could not be restarted.
I'll tell you this, for the last 7 years I've done more grieving than I have in the decades preceding them. 9 family members and 3 friends from work. People whose deaths left behind husbands, wives, children, grandchildren. Yet, here I am, lacking all of those, still here defying the odds.
And losing this friend so soon after the death of Queen Elizabeth, a woman I admired and respected, and who had been, in a way, a part of my life from birth, well, suffice it to say I'm existing in a trench of funk. As tempting as it is to double up on my anti-depression medication, I won't. I'll just follow my usual routine but add in some CBD Calm gummies.
And now I will take a deep breath, dab my eyes, blow my nose, push my 'survivor guilt' to the side and focus on being productive. The outdoor fur babies need more kibble. I might not have people who depend on me to take care of them, but I do have my indoor and outdoor 'kids'.
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I'm reminded of how strange it seemed as a child when my father and uncles would visit my grandmother after some time and for hours the talk was always about who died and the first thing they read in the local paper were the obituaries. But those lives now lost were the comfort and the "grounding" for them as the friends we are now losing were once as well.
I'm glad you have your kitties. Life offers great pleasure (and they are but one example) but is tempered by the pain of loss. 
I hope Arthur provides some happy antics today. 
So glad you have your sweet boys! 
So sorry you have suffered another loss.
and all but chained to their upholstered living room chairs while my diminutive very elderly grandmother (and matriarch) "held court"... was fascinating. Not to mention all the coffee they were drinking, which only added to the pain of those assembled. Every once in a while, one uncle, in particular, knowing his mother's hearing was limited would send a wry sardonic comment to those in earshot. As a teen, considerably bored by all this, I lived for those.
Heck, I have a wound on my leg that will not go away. Will it kill me? Who knows? My body is not what it was, and it won't be that ever again. What do we do? As stated a few times, I guess we sally forth and seize the day regardless of having nothing to seize. I agree that it does seem to come off as a bit of tilting at windmills but being positive is a better mindset than being negative. (Being indifferent is another choice, but I don't recommend it either, as it is probably eating me alive... so to speak.) Regardless, know there are people here who can relate. At least you can talk whenever you need to. and, accept a few big virtual hugs because we need to be more connected and aware of each other in a tactile way.
